The Red Pyramid (Kane Chronicles #1)(91)

“Ha, ha, ha! Yes! Would you like to try a free sample?” He ripped a slimy leather pouch off his belt, and brought out a clay pot filled with sweet-smelling yellow powder. “I call this...Eternity!”

“Lovely,” I gagged. I glanced behind me, wondering where Carter had gone to, but there was no sign of him.

Keep him talking, Isis urged.

“And, um...perfume is part of your job because...wait, I’ve got it, you squeeze it out of plants, like you squeeze wine...”

“Or blood!” Shezmu added.

“Well, naturally,” I said. “The blood goes without saying.”

“Blood!” he said.

Khufu yelped and covered his eyes.

“So you serve Osiris?” I asked the demon.

“Yes! At least...” He hesitated, snarling in doubt. “I did. Osiris’s throne is empty. But he will return. He will!”

“Of course,” I said. “And so your friends call you what...Shezzy? Bloodsiekins?”

“I have no friends! But if I did, they would call me Slaughterer of Souls, Fierce of Face! But I don’t have any friends, so my name is not in danger. Ha, ha, ha!”

I looked at Bast, wondering if I’d just gotten as lucky as I thought. Bast beamed at me.

Carter came stumbling down the stairs, holding The Book of the Dead. “I’ve got it! Somewhere here. Can’t read this part, but—”

“Name me or be eaten!” Shezmu bellowed.

“I name you!” I shouted back. “Shezmu, Slaughterer of Souls, Fierce of Face!”

“GAAAAHHHHH!” He writhed in pain. “How do they always know?”

“Let us pass!” I commanded. “Oh, and one more thing...my brother wants a free sample.”

I just had time to step away, and Carter just had time to look confused before the demon blew yellow dust all over him. Then Shezmu sank under the waves.

“What a nice fellow,” I said.

“Pah!” Carter spit perfume. He looked like a piece of breaded fish. “What was that for?”

“You smell lovely,” I assured him. “What’s next, then?”

I was feeling very pleased with myself until our boat rounded a bend in the river. Suddenly the reddish glow on the horizon became a blaze of light. Up in the wheelhouse, the captain rang the alarm bell.

Ahead of us, the river was on fire, rushing through a steaming stretch of rapids towards what looked like a bubbling volcanic crater.

“The Lake of Fire,” Bast said. “This is where it gets interesting.”

Chapter 28. I Have a Date with the God of Toilet Paper

BAST HAD AN INTERESTING DEFINITION of interesting: a boiling lake several miles wide that smelled like burning petrol and rotten meat. Our steamboat stopped short where the river met the lake, because a giant metal gate blocked our path. It was a bronze disk like a shield, easily as wide as our boat, half submerged in the river. I wasn’t sure how it avoided melting in the heat, but it made going forward impossible. On either bank of the river, facing the disk, was a giant bronze baboon with its arms raised.

“What is this?” I asked.

“The Gates of the West,” Bast said. “Ra’s sunboat would pass through and be renewed in the fires of the lake, then pass through to the other side and rise through the Gates of the East for a new day.”

Looking up at the huge baboons, I wondered if Khufu had some sort of secret baboon code that would get us in. But instead he barked at the statues and cowered heroically behind my legs.

“How do we get past?” I wondered.

“Perhaps,” a new voice said, “you should ask me.”

The air shimmered. Carter backed up quickly, and Bast hissed.

In front of me appeared a glowing bird spirit: a ba. It had the usual combination of human head and killer turkey body, with its wings tucked back and its entire form glowing, but something about this ba was different. I realized I knew the spirit’s face—an old bald man with brown, papery skin, milky eyes, and a kindly smile.

“Iskandar?” I managed.

“Hello, my dear.” The old magician’s voice echoed as if from the bottom of a well.

“But...” I found myself tearing up. “You’re really dead, then?”

He chuckled. “Last I checked.”

“But why? I didn’t make you—”

“No, my dear. It wasn’t your fault. It was simply the right time.”

“It was horrible timing!” My surprise and sadness abruptly turned to anger. “You left us before we got trained or anything, and now Desjardins is after us and—”

“My dear, look how far you’ve come. Look how well you have done. You didn’t need me, nor would more training have helped. My brethren would have found out the truth about you soon enough. They are excellent at sniffing out godlings, I fear, and they would not have understood.”

“You knew, didn’t you? You knew we were possessed by gods.”

“Hosts of the gods.”

“Whatever! You knew.”

“After our second meeting, yes. My only regret is that I did not realize it sooner. I could not protect you and your brother as much as—”

“As much as who?”

Iskandar’s eyes became sad and distant. “I made choices, Sadie. Some seemed wise at the time. Some, in retrospect...”