The Ranger (Highland Guard #3)(43)

But everyone needed someone. No one could actually want to be alone.

Maybe he just didn’t know any better.

Anna felt a flicker of possibility break through the hurt. She hugged the puppy curled up in her lap to her chest, kissing the soft fur on his head. Maybe, like Squire, he only needed someone to give him a chance. Someone to give him a little affection.

By the next morning, Anna was feeling more like herself. She returned to her seat beside her brother Alan on the dais to break her fast.

Her pulse spiked each time someone walked in the room. She was ready to see him. She wanted to see whether she was right. When their eyes met for the first time, she was certain she would know whether he cared for her, whether cruelty was merely his way of keeping her at a distance—just like he did everyone else.

As the meal drew on and Arthur didn’t appear, Anna grew increasingly uneasy. When his brothers and the rest of the Campbells appeared, the fierce pounding in her chest took a sudden dive.

Unfortunately, her odd behavior had not gone unnoticed.

“He’s not here,” Alan said, putting his hand on hers.

She startled, jerking her gaze away from the entry. “Who’s not here?” But the hot flush that rose to her cheeks gave her away.

He squeezed her hand under his, gently. “Campbell.”

Obviously, he’d figured out the correct one.

She managed a wan smile, not bothering to feign ignorance. Her interest in the knight had not gone unnoticed by her overprotective brother. “I merely wished to ask him a favor. Squire has been moping around all morning, and I wondered if Sir Arthur might take him with him when he goes out riding this morning.”

Her brother gave her a look that suggested he was not fooled by her feeble excuse.

“You’ll have to find someone else to exercise your hound for a while.”

A sick feeling dropped in her chest, settling uneasily in her stomach. Her voice quivered. “What do you mean?”

She braced herself, but part of her already knew what Alan was going to say.

“Campbell left with Ewen to patrol the southern borders between the castles at Glassery and Duntrune—father suspects the MacDonalds are up to something again. He’ll be gone for days, probably weeks.”

Gone. He’s gone.

How could he have left her without a word, after what they’d shared? Her chest constricted, tighter and tighter until she thought she would burst from the pressure.

“I see,” she whispered.

She was a fool. Because it felt special to her, she’d convinced herself it must be special to him. She’d known what he was, and still she’d convinced herself that maybe he was different.

Alan’s gaze narrowed. “Did something happen? Did he do something—”

She shook her head furiously. “Nothing. Nothing happened.”

Nothing significant. She drew her hand from under her brother’s and folded her arms over her belly. She wanted to curl up in a ball and fall apart, but she wouldn’t. He wasn’t worth it.

“What is he to you, Annie-love? Do you care for him? I thought you were doing a favor for Father.”

She hadn’t been aware that Alan knew of her unusual activities, but perhaps she shouldn’t have been surprised. With their grandfather’s age and their father’s illness, Alan had assumed more and more responsibilities. She wondered how much he knew. She suspected not all, or he wouldn’t be so calm.

“I was,” she assured him. Taking a deep breath, she forced the air back into her lungs. “He’s nothing to me,” she said, and meant it.

Her first impression had been correct: Arthur Campbell was a man with one foot out the door. He would never give her the stability that she craved. If she let him, he would only break her heart.

Ten

“You look like shite, Ranger. What the hell’s the matter with you?”

Arthur tried not to let his annoyance show, but the brash seafarer had an uncanny ability to hone in on a sore spot. There was nothing wrong with him, damn it. Nothing that a restful night of sleep wouldn’t cure.

But in the ten days since he’d left Dunstaffnage, he hadn’t had one night of peace. His dreams had been invaded by a lass with big blue eyes and honey-gold hair. A lass whose expression when she’d fled the barracks still haunted him.

She was always so damned happy. It was one of the things that had drawn him to her from the first. But he’d made her sad. Actually, she’d looked as if he’d crushed her. He hoped to hell she wasn’t harboring tender feelings for him. That would be foolish. Very foolish, he reminded himself.

His jaw hardened. Obviously, it wasn’t just his dreams she’d invaded but his thoughts as well. Anna MacDougall had gotten under his skin.

He didn’t understand why he couldn’t stop thinking about her. He’d left—what he always did when a woman started to think about more than the bedchamber—but this time it wasn’t working. If anything, it had made him more on edge. He was sure this irritating inability to focus would stop, if only he could see her and assure himself she was all right.

He should be able to push her out of his head. Focus on his task. And it infuriated him that he couldn’t.

But he sure as hell wasn’t going to explain any of this to MacSorley. He’d never hear the end of it.

“Good to see you too, Hawk.” He studied the big Islander in the moonlight, noticing the lines of strain etched on his face beneath the smudges of ash. In addition to blackened armor and dark plaids, the warriors of the Highland Guard darkened their skin, enabling them to blend in to the night and move stealthily through the shadows. “Perhaps I should be asking you the same question?”