The Proposal (The Proposition #2)(16)

Emma couldn’t help but reach across the table and take his hand in hers. “What happened?” she prodded.

The waitress returned with his beer, and Aidan drowned half of it before speaking again. “A few weeks before I found out she was pregnant, Amy and I had been out partying with some friends, and I got plastered. That night as I was digging around in the medicine cabinet for some Advil, I accidentally knocked her birth control in the sink. You can imagine how surprised I was when it was unused, not to mention the prescription hadn’t been refilled in two months. When I confronted her, she admitted she’d stopped taking it because she thought a baby would solidify our relationship.”

Aidan shuddered. “I was furious. I packed my things and left for my parents. I refused to talk to her or see her.” He leaned forward on his elbows. “Kinda like what you’ve been doing to me.”

Emma rolled her eyes. “Finish the damn story, Aidan.”

He held up his hands. “Fine then. She eventually came to my office and showed me the pregnancy test.” He gave Emma a sad smile. “The fact that the Amy I thought I knew and loved had betrayed me by trapping me into getting married was terrible, but the worst part was the fact I was scared out of my freaking mind at the prospect of being a father at twenty-four.” He took two long pulls from his beer. “I’m sure you can imagine what happened next.”

Her stomach turned at the prospect. “Go on,” she instructed.

He sneered at her. “You want me to actually say the words?”

“Fine. That’s when Amy caught you screwing another woman.”

“Yes,” he croaked.

Emma narrowed her eyes. “Wow, I guess we have a lot in common. Maybe we should get t-shirts that say, ‘We were both f**ked over by Aidan Fitzgerald’!”

“Em, please,” he begged.

She huffed out an exasperated breath. “Fine. Continue.”

“Amy threw me out of the house that night. The next morning I went back over and tried to reason with her. I told her I was sorry, that I loved her, and that in spite of what had happened between her trying to trap me and then me screwing someone else, I still wanted to marry her. She wouldn’t have it. She got into the car and sped away.”

Emma’s brows shot up in surprise at the tears sparkling in Aidan’s eyes. “She ran a stop sign in the subdivision trying to get away from me. A car smashed into the driver’s side. Thankfully, she walked away with just a few scrapes and bruises.” His chest rose and fell in harsh pants. “But she miscarried later that day.”

Involuntarily, Emma reached out and took Aidan’s hand in hers again. His expression, his tears, and his words broke her heart. All the pieces of his puzzle finally fell into place.

“All these years you’ve felt guilty about the baby, haven’t you?”

He nodded, swiping the tears from his cheeks. “I never wanted it, and then I…killed it.” He started sobbing then. Emma chewed her lip and fought herself from rising out of the booth and going over to him. Her better judgment lost out, and she found herself cradling him in her arms. The old Aidan she knew would never have cried, least of all in public. He was absolutely broken by the ghosts of the past and present.

She rubbed wide circles over his back. “You’re not to blame for what happened with the baby, Aidan, any more than Amy is just because she was driving too fast and ran the stop sign. Accidents happen.”

Raising his head, he swiped the tears from his cheeks. “Accidents may happen, but people never forget them…or forgive them.”

Emma ignored the double meaning of his statement in regards to her. “I’m sure time has helped to heal any bad feelings Amy had for you. I’m sure she’s struggled with her own guilt over what she did to you by trying to trap you.”

He shrugged. “I hope so. She certainly helped to screw me up for every other woman.” His blue eyes honed in on hers. “Maybe it’s me who can’t forgive. If it hadn’t been for her, maybe I wouldn’t have f**ked things up so epically with you.”

“Maybe,” she murmured.

His fingers came to grip her chin. Tilting her gaze up to meet his, he shook his head. “For the most part, our proposition was about me getting the chance to have sex with you, and I did promise my late mother I would one day have children. But it was also about being able to find redemption with myself…and with God. I thought if I could help you bring a baby into the world, it might take away the hurt of the past.”

Emma’s mouth dropped open in surprise. For a few moments, she could only stare at him in utter and complete shock. All this time he really had possessed a deeper, more admirable desire for wanting to be her sperm donor.

“Do you hate me now because of that?”

She shook her head wildly back and forth. “No, how could you even think that?”

“It’s just you were staring at me and not saying anything. I thought you might feel used or deceived.”

“That’s not it at all. In fact, I was thinking much more highly of you because of what you told me.”

“Really?”

“I’m glad having Noah is a way you feel you can repent for what you did. It’s never too late for redemption, Aidan.”

A hopeful look entered his tortured eyes. “I’d give anything and everything in this world to redeem myself with you. Just please, please give me the chance.”