The Program (The Program #1)(97)

Realm always wanted to help me. He was all I had in The Program. He was good. Safe. “How are you going to help me?”

“There are things that Michael didn’t tell you—things he doesn’t think you could forgive. But he wants you to know that he loves you. That he wants you to be happy.” She pauses and meets my eyes. “But more than anything, he wants you to run.”

“Run?” Fear streaks down my back. I’m frozen in place, unsure of how to respond.

Anna looks past me, toward the car. “Is that James?” she asks, nodding toward him.

“Yeah.” I search my memories, wondering if there will be a hidden clue to what’s going on, but there’s nothing. I’m completely lost.

“My brother doesn’t like him much.” Anna smiles at this. “But he understands.”

“Understands? I’m freaking out right now. What’s going on?”

Anna must hear in my voice that I’m done with the cryptic messages because she sighs, as if dreading this part. “They’ve been monitoring you, Sloane. Texts, phone calls. Midnight drives? They came and saw Michael today, knowing that you were here last night. The minute they left, he called me to come by. Said he was leaving, that he had no choice but to . . . fulfill an obligation, let’s say. But he knew you were in danger, you and James, so he left you some provisions. Even made me promise to give up my car.” She laughs at this, but she doesn’t seem bitter. “My little brother can be fairly convincing when he needs to be. Then again, he’s all I have left. And vice versa.”

I can understand that she would do this for her brother, knowing that no matter how crazy the request, I would have done anything for Brady. Realm had said that he didn’t have anything outside The Program. I wonder why he never told me he had a sister.

“Kevin is a friend of ours,” she continues. “And when he got pulled off your case, Michael knew something was up. Obviously he was right. I’m sure you’re aware that there is an Amber Alert out for the two of you right now.” She motions to James.

“What? No. I . . .” And now I know that I can’t go home. That the flag has been thrown and nothing can be the same again, or at least, the same as it was a few weeks ago. I want to panic, but I’m trying to keep it together. I’m trying to be strong.

“The epidemic is spreading,” she says. “Michael wants you to go east—says there’s a group there that can help hide you. Kevin will help. He’s been conspiring with your friend Lacey for some time. They know about the rebels.”

“Rebels? Against The Program?”

“You don’t have to be part of it. Michael never was. He honestly believed in The Program, maybe even still does a little. But things are changing. He thought that your James might take up the cause. He says he’s quite the troublemaker.”

We both look back at James then. He’s behind the wheel, the phone to his ear as he argues with whoever is on the other end. His father? It’s clear by the expression on his face that it’s done, the life we had here. When he sees me watching, James’s mouth stops moving and he lowers his phone. He knows they’re looking for us too.

“You should go,” Anna says. “The car has a few supplies, a little bit of money and directions. Kevin will be waiting with Lacey at the rest stop on the Idaho border. Pick them up and leave the state. Michael will find you,” she says. “When he can, he’ll find you.”

I stare at her, seeing a small resemblance between her and Realm. I’m about to wonder if I should trust her when I realize that I don’t have any other options. This is our only hand to play.

Anna gives me the keys to the car before starting to walk into the house. She pauses suddenly, and turns to me. “Michael wanted me to give you one last thing,” she says. She removes a small plastic bag from her coat pocket and holds it out to me. I take it and peek inside. There is one bright-orange pill.

“It’s meant to bring back the lost memories,” she says. “Some more quickly than others. Michael got his hands on it when he was in The Program. He’d been saving it for when it was all over.” She swallows hard. “But he wants you to have it instead. He has a warning, though.” Anna takes a step closer to me, her eyes deadly serious. “He said that some things are better left in the past. And true things are destined to repeat themselves.”

I touch the small pill, wondering if it could have all that power, all the power to make me whole again. “He only gave me one?” I ask, thinking of James.

“There is only one,” she whispers. “And now it’s yours. Michael is giving you the choice that The Program didn’t. But he was very clear that if you take this pill, you might never forgive him. You might hate him.”

And suddenly I wonder what secrets Realm has been keeping from me. “I could never hate him,” I say, even though now I’m not so sure.

“Easy to say when you don’t remember.” She walks away then, pulling open the front door, but stopping to look back at me. “You’ll be the only one who remembers, Sloane, and that in itself could be a curse. I hope you choose wisely. I’d hate to hear that you couldn’t handle it, and terminated.” She presses her lips into a sympathetic smile. “I think that sometimes the only real thing is now.”