The Program (The Program #1)(69)

“Mr. Murphy,” our teacher calls from the front. “If you wouldn’t mind . . .” She raises one eyebrow at him.

James doesn’t immediately react, and I shoot a look back to Kevin. My heart rate spikes, afraid that this guy is going to get himself thrown out of class. But before anything else happens, James slips his phone back into his pocket and opens his book, never making a sound.

When that’s settled, Mrs. Cavalier starts in on the lesson, and I try not to look next to me. When class comes to an end, James is the first one out the door.

• • •

Lacey waves me over to her table when I get to lunch. Kevin tells me to go ahead. He doesn’t offer me the white pill anymore, which tells me that maybe I never really needed it in the first place. Maybe they were just to keep me complacent. At home my doses go into the disposal.

I sit across from Lacey, opening my brown bag. Now that I’m not taking anything, my appetite has returned. I bite into my sandwich as Lacey takes out her cupcakes, sliding one over to me.

“Evan broke up with me today,” she says conversationally. “He said my rebel ways make him nervous. Which I think is funny considering that he’s the one who’s best friends with a non-returner. That alone is asking for trouble—they’re paranoid and dangerous. Hell, they spread suicide. And truly, Liam is scared shitless of us. I bet he’s the one that told him to end things.”

“Liam’s not scared of me,” I say, taking the cupcake from the plastic to break it open. “But that other guy might have worried him just a little.” I lick the cream, and Lacey tilts her head questioningly.

“What other guy?”

I glance around then, trying to find him. When I see him sitting alone at a table, I don’t mention it at first. Instead I look him over. He’s really cute, in an intimidating sort of way. His light-blue eyes gaze out the window as he drinks from a carton of milk. I wonder why he helped me last night, yet he won’t look at me otherwise. At just that moment, he turns to meet my stare and I freeze.

Across from me Lacey laughs. “James Murphy,” she says.

“What?” Startled, I turn back to her.

She smiles. “That’s James Murphy who you’re currently eye-humping. He’s in my science class, but he doesn’t say much. And when he does, it’s usually obnoxious or combative.”

I can feel my cheeks redden. “I wasn’t . . .” I stop to laugh. “Okay, not the point. So are you friends with him?”

“Nope.” She bites into her cupcake. “I’m pretty sure that he hates everyone here. He’s been in and out of the office since transferring. I would have recruited him to my ‘Lacey Against the World’ plan, but he’s too unpredictable. He ended up assigned two handlers because he kept going off the grid. Can’t believe they didn’t send him back. Trying to keep up appearances, I guess.”

She crumples up her wrapper, and I pick through the rest of my lunch, careful not to look at James again. If Lacey thinks he’s trouble, that has to be saying something. But I might ask Kevin about him later.

“Wait,” Lacey says, looking up. “Is he the one that scared Liam yesterday?”

“Uh-huh.” I don’t go into details, but I’m not sure why. It’s like I’m suddenly protective of James’s reputation, even though I barely know him. Still, I owe him for sticking up for me. So I don’t mention that he threatened to turn a non-sick person into The Program. That could get him arrested, I bet.

Something tickles the back of my mind, but I can’t put it into words, this odd feeling I have. A feeling that has no meaning because I can’t remember what it relates to. It’s like I’m about to discover it when a memory of my brother sitting alone at the table calling out fractions on flash cards echoes in my mind. I blink quickly and try to clear it away.

“Well, who knows then,” Lacey says, not noticing my temporary distraction. “Maybe he’s not a total tool. So . . . do you remember having any boyfriends or anything? Evan is the first that I can remember. How sad is that? He uses way too much tongue.”

“Ew.” I pop the tab on my Diet Coke. “Not sure I needed to know that.”

Lacey leans her elbows on the table, the smile fading from her lips. “They watch you, you know. They monitor us all the time, even when we don’t realize.”

A chill runs over me as I stare back at her. Her dark eyes are painted with blue shadow, the liner dramatically cat-eyed. Her blond hair is flipped up at the ends, very preppy—almost comically so. It occurs to me suddenly that this is not how she wants to dress. That this is fake.

“Are they watching right now?” I whisper, suddenly paranoid as I lean closer to her.

“The place isn’t bugged or anything, but they take note of who we interact with. Where we go. They’re looking for signs of failure.”

“And if they find it?”

Lacey straightens then. “We don’t know. No one has failed. Yet.”

I lower my eyes, thinking that I don’t want to be the first person to get sent back to The Program. I don’t think I could bear being locked up there alone. I feel fine—a little confused, but not depressed. Although to be honest, I’m not even sure what depressed would feel like.

“Anyway.” Lacey sighs as if wanting to go back to the easy conversation. “If you want me to introduce you to James, I can.”