The Perfect Match (Blue Heron #2)(26)

And then he spoke, and thus died the fantasy.

Colleen leaned over her with what had to be the seventeenth makeup item.

“Okay, no sparkles,” Honor said. “I think we’re good, don’t you? I feel like I could write my name in this.”

“You look gorgeous,” Faith said. “Years younger.”

Ouch.

“Not that you need to, of course,” Faith added with a grimace. “Thirty-five is the new, uh, eighteen.”

“So a date, this is exciting,” Pru said, rubbing her hands together. “What’s his name again?”

“Um, it’s Slavic. Droog.”

“Oh, dear,” Colleen said. “Can you imagine calling that out at the big moment? ‘Droog, Droog, don’t stop!’”

Honor grimaced. “It’s something to overcome, I’ll admit.”

“What’s in a name, though?” Faith said. “If he’s cute, the name won’t matter. You’ll probably love it after ten minutes.”

“I hate dating,” Honor admitted. “I’m so bad with men.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” Prudence said thoughtfully at the same instant Faith said, “No, you’re not!”

“Oh, sure I am,” she said. “But I’m really good at accounting. We all have our gifts.”

“Girls!” Dad bellowed up from downstairs. “Levi and Connor are here!”

“John Holland!” yelled Mrs. J. “Stop yelling like your daughters are a team of mules!”

The bedroom door opened. “Ladies,” Levi said. His eyes stopped on Faith, and Honor suppressed the familiar envy. Her sister and Levi had known each other for ages, but only recently started getting along. As in, the air was thick with pheromones of the newlyweds.

“Blick. Young love. I’m so over them, aren’t you?” Colleen asked Honor.

“Nah. I like them. Hi, Connor.”

“Hello, Holland women, hello, twin sister,” Connor O’Rourke said. “Wow, your hair, Honor. I keep forgetting.”

“I found him wandering the streets,” Levi said. “Figured we’d come see what you girls were up to.”

“Go have a drink with my dad,” Faith said. “This is a girl thing.”

“No, you know what?” Colleen said. “This is great. Boys, what do you think? How hot is Honor? Not historically, but right here and now.”

“Please don’t answer,” Honor said.

The two men exchanged a relieved glance.

Hang on. Why wouldn’t they want to talk about how hot she was, huh? “Actually, do answer. How hot am I, guys?”

“I’ll go see about that drink,” Levi said. “Connor?”

“Don’t you move,” Honor ordered. “You owe me, Levi Cooper. Okay, I realize this is awkward, you being my brother-in-law and all, but Colleen’s right. I could use a male opinion.”

“Is invoking my right to the Fifth Amendment a good enough answer?” Levi asked.

“No,” said Faith. “You have to answer.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Then I’m cutting you off,” she said.

Levi gave her a sleepy look. “You’d climb me like a tree after one day.”

“I would, too,” Pru said. “You’re a good-looking guy, Levi.”

Honor turned away from the mirror and trapped both men with her gaze. because yeah, she was good at that. Authoritative. “Boys, you don’t want to be on my bad side, do you?”

“I know I don’t,” Connor said.

“Smart of you. Relax. I’m just looking for some insight.” Hey, why not? She’d already lost all dignity with the catfight. Plus, these guys knew her. “Why don’t men think dirty thoughts about me?”

“We do,” Connor said. “Not to worry.”

“No, you don’t.”

“No, we do. We’re guys. We automatically assess any woman for sex. Right, Levi?”

Levi scowled in response.

“Is that true?” Honor asked. Men were such aliens. “Really? You look at a woman, every woman, and imagine ha**ng s*x with her?”

“I don’t,” Levi said.

“He’s lying,” Connor answered. “We’re guys. We think about sex with every woman.”

“Really. Every woman?” she asked. Connor nodded. “So someone like Lorena Creech,” she continued, naming the scariest woman she could think of. Lorena, age sixtysomething, fifty pounds overweight, a penchant for see-through animal-print clothing. “You’ve thought about ha**ng s*x with her?”

“Well, yeah, same as you think about being eaten by a shark or getting your testicles caught in a bear trap,” Connor said. “If you’re a guy and a woman walks past, you look at her, imagine sex, then you either shudder in horror or make a play.”

Honor pursed her lips. “So I got the shudder of horror?”

Connor looked stricken.

“Busted, jerk,” his twin said.

“Um, no. I... You’re not horrifying, Honor. You’re quite...”

“Quite what? That’s what I’m trying to figure out.”