The Party (The Proposition 0.5)(9)

“I am…but he never should have died. He should be here with me. He should be with Nate doing his internship, and we…we should have children.”

“It’s no good to think that way,” Connor argued. He pulled away to cup her face in his hands. “You have to move on. Travis would want you to be happy—to find someone else to make a life with and to become a mother like you’ve always dreamed of.”

At his mention of motherhood, Emma’s breath caught. An idea—a somewhat crazy notion for someone like her—had been flickering within her for months. As much as she tried pushing it aside while rationalizing that it couldn’t or wouldn’t work, it continued to grow. “Connor, if I asked you do something for me, would you?”

His dark brows shot up questioningly. “Why do I feel I should probably say no?”

“Please?”

“What is it?”

Hesitating, she drew in a deep breath. She wasn’t sure if she could actually come out and admit it. Finally, she found the courage to ask, “Will you have a baby with me?”

Jerking his hands from her face, Connor shot off the couch. “Excuse me?”

“You’re the only man in the world I love. I want you to give me the child I’ve always wanted—I want you to be my baby’s father.”

Connor’s eyes bulged. “Emma, you do recall that I am very g*y and in a relationship with a man that I love. I can’t…” He raked his hands wildly through his hair. “I wouldn’t even know how to begin to do that with you.”

At his bewildered expression and his words, Emma couldn’t help laughing. “I’m not asking you to sleep with me to conceive the baby.”

“You’re not?”

Emma shook her head. “No, of course not. I meant that I wanted you to be my sperm donor—like in a clinic and all, not a bedroom.”

Staring at her in shock, realization finally dawned on Connor, and he let out a long, exaggerated breath. “Oh…thank God.”

“But thanks for letting me know that having sex with me would be the greatest nightmare of your life,” Emma joked.

With an apologetic smile, Connor sat back down with her on the couch. “Don’t be offended, Emmie Lou. You know the ‘no women for me’ ship sailed a long time ago.”

“Hmm, yes, I believe I had something to do with that back then as well.”

Connor winced. “I just thought if I tried making out with a girl, I’d know once and for all if I was really g*y.”

Emma laughed. “And I’m glad I helped you figure it out.”

With a grin, Connor said, “If I remember it correctly, I did get it up for you.”

“Oh, ew!” she cried before covering her face with her hands. She immediately thought back to Connor’s fifteenth birthday party. All their other friends had left, leaving them alone in his parents’ basement. Although girls were crazy about him, Connor never settled down or dated much. Instead, he preferred flirting with them and hanging out with Emma.

After sneaking half a bottle of his dad’s Jack Daniels, he tearfully confided in Emma that he thought he might not be attracted to girls at all. He begged her to let him kiss her, to make out with her to see if he really was g*y. Considering she’d never gone past first base with anyone, she was more than a little reluctant. Emma peeked at him through her fingers and shook her head. “I can’t believe you were the first guy to feel me up.”

Connor chuckled. “I do believe I did a little more than feeling you up. I’m pretty sure I dry humped you into oblivion that night until I came in my pants!”

Emma smacked his arm playfully. “Ugh, I can’t believe you remember all that.”

“Yeah, it wasn’t just the fact I was making out with my best friend that was a major turn off. It was that to finally… come I had to fantasize about a dude.”

Rolling her eyes, Emma said, “Once again, thank you so much for reminding me of that fact. It’s totally not given me a complex or anything in my extreme dateless state!”

“Oh come on, Emmie Lou, you had half the male population jonesing for you back in the day, and if you got your head out of your ass and back into the dating game, you would see that straight dudes everywhere want to bang that hot bod of yours.”

“Yeah, they want to bang me. They just don’t want to get to know me or have committed relationship. Once they find out I’m old-fashioned and won’t have sex right off the bat, they run away.”

After an awkward silence, Connor sighed. “This is where you bring up the baby part again, right?”

“I can’t believe you would act so surprised about it all. You know how much I want a child—how I’ve always wanted a big family. I’ll be thirty in a few months. It’s not now or never time, but it’s getting close.”

“So why not find some dude to settle down with and have kids. You know, get on Eharmony or something like that. I mean, surely Nate has to know some eligible men to hook you up with.”

Emma huffed with frustration. “I’ve not had an actual relationship since Travis, and I’m not sure if there’s really anyone else out there for me.”

“But you haven’t even tried. I mean, with your mom’s cancer and her dying, you shut down for so long. Maybe it’s time to really put yourself back out there again,” Connor argued.