The Next Best Thing (Gideon's Cove #2)(60)

I head around the park, trailing my hand along the brownstone wall, its rough surface scraping against my fingertips. The temperature is dropping, and the tips of my ears grow cold. A seabird cries, mournful and shrill, and the smell of low tide sharpens the air. The wind catches the hollow spot under the bridge, and a lonely, soft howl comes from below. Or maybe it’s Captain Cook’s wife, like Bob said.

I go straight to Ethan’s. He answers on the first knock.

“Hey,” he says. His suit jacket is off, his shirt unbuttoned a couple. He smiles, then stands back to let me in. I don’t move, as my head is in the emotional equivalent of a spin cycle. “Come on in, Lucy. Want a glass of wine?”

“Sure,” I answer, obeying abruptly. “Thanks.”

As Ethan goes to the kitchen to pour me a drink, I look around the living room. His apartment’s layout is identical to mine, but being one story higher, his view is better. Now, though, there’s nothing but a few lights sprinkling the town, the deep black of the ocean beyond that. A tiny glow flickers on the horizon—a fishing boat. Someone’s out tonight, rocking on the sea, checking lines. It seems so cozy out there, far away from shore. A blue glow from the Aronsons’ house indicates they’re watching TV. Rose made a cake for their fiftieth anniversary party last month. Fifty years.

Turning away, I almost jump at the sight of Ethan, standing there with two glasses of wine in his hands. “Here you go,” he says, offering me a glass. Our fingers brush, mine cold against the warmth of his skin. “To Aunt Boggy,” he adds, clinking my glass.

“To Boggy,” I return, then chug the wine. It’s red, a cabernet, I think, and it might have a nice body and an intricate web of flavors, but I can’t really tell, as I’ve glugged it all down. I let out a breath. Ethan’s eyebrow raises.

“Liquid courage?” he suggests, the corner of his mouth rising.

“Maybe,” I agree, taking a seat on his couch. It’s a nice couch. Brown leather. Ethan furnished his apartment in one mighty swoop at Restoration Hardware. Manly dark furniture, very nice, very solid. Aside from the many photos of Nicky (and a few of Nicky and Parker, and even one of the three of them), his place looks like a catalog. He takes a seat in the matching club chair adjacent to me.

“You don’t have any pictures of Jimmy,” I observe. I’ve noticed it in the past, commented on it, even.

“I’ll have to ask my mom for one. Now that I’m here full-time.”

“You must miss him.”

Ethan looks at me a beat or two. “I do.” He sets his wine-glass down on the coffee table and links his hands loosely in front of him. “Do you want to talk about Jimmy? Or would you like to talk about you and me?”

My heart does a slow, sickening slide. “They’re kind of intertwined, aren’t they?” I ask.

Ethan nods. “I guess they are.”

“I’m your brother’s wife, Ethan. Are you sure you want to be with me? There’s a lot of baggage, obviously.”

“You’re my brother’s widow, Lucy,” he corrects, and his voice is a little sharp. “We’re not committing adultery here.”

“I know, Ethan,” I return, just as sharply. “But this is not your normal situation, either.”

He doesn’t move for a second, then comes to sit next to me, angling himself so he can see my face, though I can’t look at him just right now. He slides his hand across my neck. “How do you want this to be, this thing between us?” he asks, his voice gentle.

I don’t want it to be at all, Ethan, I’m petrified. I risk a glance at him, those gentle brown eyes. “You have to swear,” I whisper, “that we’ll still be friends, Ethan. No matter what happens. If we work out, great. But if we don’t…I can’t…I’ve missed you these past few weeks.” My eyes fill. It’s an unreasonable demand, but I can’t help it.

“Okay,” he says quietly. “I’ve missed you, too.” He drops a kiss on my shoulder, and I swallow hard. “What else?”

“I don’t know,” I admit. His hand stays on my neck, and I’m not sure if I like it or if I want a little space. “I don’t want to tell your parents right away. Or my family, either. Not till there’s something…definite. Okay?”

Something flickers in Ethan’s eyes. “Okay.”

“And maybe we should wait to…you know. Sleep together.”

He nods once. “Okay. That’s probably a good idea.”

“That’s it?” I ask, perversely irritated that he’s so damn agreeable. “Just ‘okay’ to everything? Anything you’d like to add?”

“Thank you,” he says, tilting his head, that damnably appealing smile curling on his lovely mouth.

I blink. “What for?”

“For giving me a chance. I know you’re scared, and I know you’re not a hundred percent sure, and I’m grateful. That’s all.”

“Dang it, Ethan,” I whisper. “You’re such a prince.”

I can’t help it, I kiss him, soft and slow, and I feel like I’m falling, falling and the only solid thing to hang on to is Ethan. His arms slip around me, one hand cups the back of my head, and he feels so strong and safe, and he smells so good and tastes like wine. And just like before, I’m suddenly starving for him, a junkie getting her fix. I pull him down with me so that I’m half lying on the couch, and wrap my arms around him, bringing him closer, and God, he feels so good. His hand slides under my sweater, burning my skin, and I suck in a breath. The prickle of his beard, the softness of his lips, the heat of his mouth…