The Newcomer (Thunder Point #2)(52)

A tear rolled down her cheek. “I don’t want to be like her—I don’t want to run out on my children.”

“Then you won’t. Listen, I know it’s not easy, but I think you have to just accept people as they are. That’s the best Cee Jay’s got, Eve. You don’t have to spend time with her unless you want to, but you also don’t have to carry her burdens. She’s the one who wasn’t here for ten years, no one pushed her away.”

“I know.”

“But it doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you.”

“I know. It’s just hard.”

“It is that,” he said. “Hard for everyone, I think.”

“I don’t want to spend time with her. But I wouldn’t mind if she sent a birthday card or something.”

“If she ever asks, I’ll tell her,” he said.

“And I might let her take me shopping some time,” she said, smiling sheepishly.

Mac laughed. “She should probably take us all shopping.”

Eve shook her head. “I was kidding, you know.”

“I know,” he said with a smile. “Have I told you lately how proud you make me?”

“But I was rude,” she said. “You asked me to just be polite and I was rude. And I knew it.”

He squeezed her hand. “You can work on that, but I’m not mad. What have I always told you? We all have our personal boundaries. You have your boundaries and I understand that. It always works best if you defend your boundaries by being firm but without losing your temper, but hey—sometimes if we feel threatened, we lash out.”

“You think I was feeling threatened?”

He lifted an eyebrow. “Do you think you were?”

She thought for a while. “I don’t want her coming around acting like she always missed us because if she missed us, she would have let us know that before now. I don’t like it when someone just lies in my face and acts like it’s the truth. She did not miss us. She came back, but she didn’t tell the truth about why. I guess that’s my boundary. The truth.”

“Possibly we just don’t have the whole story,” he suggested.

“Then that’s my other boundary. The whole story. Don’t just come around acting like it was all a little mistake and hey, we’re all over it now, so let’s party. That isn’t going to cut it.”

He tried not to smile. One corner of his mouth lifted. “Like I said, we all have our boundaries. They’re personal and they’re ours. I respect that.”

“What about your boundaries?” she persisted.

“Well, my personal boundaries are my business but, in this case, I had to think about the whole family, about all of us, and I did the best I could to be fair about that.”

“You were fair,” she acknowledged. “I should call Ashley. She’s dying to hear about it.”

He stood up. That was his cue to give her some privacy to do an emotional postmortem with her best friend. “If you need to talk about this anymore...”

“I’m fine, Dad. Sorry I was rude.”

Eleven

For the first time since Sarah had known Cooper, his temperament was unreadable. He came back from San Antonio in a very quiet, distracted mood. He was so happy to see her, so grateful for her help in the bar while he was away, yet nothing she could say would get his disposition to brighten.

“It must have been so hard seeing Bridget like that,” Sarah said.

“It was the saddest thing I’ve ever seen. Her family had a tough time letting her go. I hope to never see anything that sad again.”

“I think you brought a lot of that sadness home with you,” she said.

And he pulled her close, kissed her temple and said, “I’m sorry, baby. I don’t want to burden you. We have a lot to be thankful for.”

He wasn’t done with it, apparently. Maybe he just needed a little time to process it all. Sarah was happy to have a full week of work to occupy her and keep her from worrying about Cooper every second of the day. By the following weekend, when they had a little more time together, she decided to pursue the subject again. They sat out on his deck under a very starry sky and bright moon, watching over a couple of fires on the beach, listening to the waves break on the shore. He had his evening beer, she had her wine. There were a couple of other people on the deck, also enjoying the spring evening, so they were mostly alone. At least alone enough to have a private conversation. “Did you ever figure out why Bridget wanted you to come to San Antonio?”

Again he pulled her closer as he did every time the subject came up, as if afraid she might slip away from him. “There were a lot of reasons—lots of talk about the past, making sure I never for a moment thought she was less than honest with me. But while it probably relieved her and allowed her to move on, it did something bigger for me. I failed her, Sarah. I was a poor excuse for a fiancé. I was a disappointment as a boyfriend. I wanted to marry her without making any real compromises in my own life. I was leaving the country for weeks at a time, and all she wanted from me was my promise to find a more stable lifestyle.”

Sarah felt a lump in her throat. “Lots of regrets, huh?”

“Lots, but let’s see if I can explain—it’s better for both of us that it didn’t work out. She married a good man and I’m so happy with you, here, now. This is the way it should be. But, damn, I don’t ever want to be that kind of disappointment to anyone again. If I thought I let you down like that, it would just kill me. The whole thing—it’s made me think real hard about the man I want to be.”