The Naughty List (The Naughty List #1)(58)

Great Scott! One hundred percent. It was true, only Aiden wasn’t the one that needed to be investigated; it was me. I had kissed Christian back, no matter how misguided it was; my tongue was in his mouth too. I wanted to wash it out.

“I did kiss him, but—”

“Tessa,” Aiden yelled, looking at me. “Why would you do that?” He put both of his hands on his head. “What the hell? Why would you let him do that? Oh my God!”

He searched the room with his eyes, then turned his back on me, resting his hands against the wall and leaning into it. He dropped his head as small whimpers escaped from him. My entire body ached, and not just from where Chloe had hit me. Aiden was crying, his shoulders shaking violently. And it was my fault.

“Aiden,” I called softly.

“What have you done?” he whispered without picking up his head. “Don’t you love me?”

Good gravy! Of course I loved him. I walked up and hugged him from behind, resting my face on his back. “I do love you, Aiden. So much. And I was devastated when SOS got the message about you and Chloe—”

“SOS?” he asked, and sniffled. He straightened up and turned in my arms before taking me by the shoulders to move me back from him. “What’s SOS?”

Dang it. This was not the time to tell him, but I couldn’t lie anymore. Not after all of this. “It’s sort of a long story.”

His jaw clenched. “As long as the one about you kissing another guy?”

Was there a way back from this? Would Aiden ever forgive me?

“What is SOS?” he asked again slowly.

I swallowed hard. “The Society of Smitten Kittens.”

He waited and then adjusted his stance, letting me know that he was getting impatient.

Time to talk. “We investigate cheaters.”

“Investigate?”

I couldn’t tell if he believed me or not. I bit on the inside of my cheek, meeting his irritated gaze. “You remember the other night, when I asked you about Mary?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, after Kyle cheated on her, she started up a sort of club. When a girl thinks her boyfriend is cheating, she’ll text us. We … sneak around and find out for them.”

Aiden licked his bottom lip, staring at me. “If anyone else was telling me this, I’d say they were full of it. But it’s you. And I don’t know what you’ve gotten yourself into, but I don’t like it. You spy on people?” He sounded disappointed.

I ducked my head. “Yeah.”

“Then what?”

“We tell the girls, Leona gives them a cheater incident report, and we let them decide what to do.”

Aiden shook his head. It was a lot to take in. I could understand that. “And … you’ve been doing this to me?”

“No,” I said, reaching for him again. He let me put my hands around his waist, but he made no move to touch me. “It was just tonight. Someone texted me and said that you were seeing Chloe. I—”

“And it never occurred to you that it could be that ass**le? Or his sister? Or just someone messing with you? You just believed it. Wow, Tessa. Wow.” Aiden looked up at his ceiling, blinking away tears. I put my head on his chest, wishing he would just wrap his arms around me like he used to.

“I didn’t want to believe it,” I whispered. “Things between us had just been so different lately. I thought—”

“Because of you,” Aiden said loudly. “You’re always busy, Tessa. Distant. I didn’t know what was going on. I was trying to give you space, but I didn’t think you’d hook up with another guy.”

I closed my eyes. I had thoroughly effed up.

“And this SOS bullshit. I can’t even begin to understand the number of ways it’s wrong. My God. Did you break into people’s houses?”

“Occasionally.”

“How long have you been doing this?”

Uh-oh. “Two years.”

His body stiffened. “Two years? You’ve … you’ve been sneaking around for two years? Our entire relationship?” His voice was controlled, but I knew he wanted to yell. His body had begun to shake. I, on the other hand, was on the verge of getting sick. My head was seriously wounded.

“Yeah,” I mumbled. I wanted this to be over. I wanted the healing to begin. Starting with my forehead.

Aiden gasped. “Wait. Did you have something to do with Caleb and his girlfriend breaking up?”

I didn’t move. Yes, I did have something to do with it, but I mean, he was cheating on his girlfriend. He wasn’t an innocent victim or anything.

“Answer me,” Aiden said, and he took me by the upper arms and moved my body off of his. He didn’t want me touching him.

I nodded. His face was a mixture of pain and anger, and he brought his hands to his face and rubbed roughly at it.

“Who are you?” he asked. He looked at me, sad, confused. “Who the f**k are you?”

His voice was quiet, hurt. Heartbroken. But I was here now. We’d be okay.

“I love you,” I murmured. There was a new aching in my chest. A different one than I’d felt earlier. This one was worse because it was my own fault. I’d made this mess. Me.

Aiden’s eyes softened a little as he looked down at me. He reached his hand out to run his fingers down my cheek, so gently that I nearly cried. But then he brought his thumb and traced it over my lips, slowly. He swallowed hard.