The Host (The Host #1)(76)

“How many planets have you lived on?” Jamie asked in a hushed voice. Somehow, while I’d been talking, his hand had found its way into mine.

“This is my ninth,” I told him, squeezing his fingers gently.

“Wow, nine!” he breathed.

“That’s why they wanted me to teach. Anybody can tell them our statistics, but I have personal experience from most of the planets we’ve… taken.” I hesitated at that word, but it didn’t seem to bother Jamie. “There are only three I’ve never been to—well, now four. They just opened a new world.”

I expected Jeb to jump in with questions about the new world, or the ones I’d skipped, but he just played absently with the ends of his beard.

“Why did you never stay anywhere?” Jamie asked.

“I never found a place I liked enough to stay.”

“What about Earth? Do you think you’ll stay here?”

I wanted to smile at his child’s confidence—as if I were going to get the chance to ever move on to another host. As if I were going to get the chance to live out even another month in the one I had.

“Earth is… very interesting,” I murmured. “It’s harder than any place I’ve been before.”

“Harder than the place with the frozen air and the claw beasts?” he asked.

“In its own way, yes.” How could I explain that the Mists Planet only came at you from the outside—it was much more difficult to be attacked from within.

Attacked, Melanie scoffed.

I yawned. I wasn’t actually thinking of you, I told her. I was thinking of these unstable emotions, always betraying me. But you did attack me. Pushing your memories on me that way.

I learned my lesson, she assured me dryly. I could feel how intensely aware she was of the hand in mine. There was an emotion slowly building in her that I didn’t recognize. Something on the edge of anger, with a hint of desire and a portion of despair.

Jealousy, she enlightened me.

Jeb yawned again. “I’m being downright rude, I guess. You must be bushed—walking all over today and then me keepin’ you up half the night talking. Ought to be a better host. C’mon, Jamie, let’s go and let Wanda get some sleep.”

I was exhausted. It felt as if it had been a very long day, and, from Jeb’s words, perhaps that wasn’t in my imagination.

“Okay, Uncle Jeb.” Jamie jumped lightly to his feet and then offered his hand to the old man.

“Thanks, kid.” Jeb groaned as he got up. “And thanks to you, too,” he added in my direction. “Most interesting conversation I’ve had in… well, probably forever. Rest your voice up, Wanda, because my curiosity is a powerful thing. Ah, there he is! ’Bout time.”

Only then did I hear the sound of approaching footsteps. Automatically, I shrank against the wall and scooted farther back into the cave-room, and then felt more exposed because the moonlight was brighter inside.

I was surprised that this was the first person to turn in for the night; the corridor appeared to house many.

“Sorry, Jeb. I got to talking with Sharon, and then I sort of dozed off.”

It was impossible not to recognize this easy, gentle voice. My stomach rolled, unstable, and I wished it were empty.

“We didn’t even notice, Doc,” Jeb said. “We were having the time of our lives here. Someday you’ll have to get her to tell you some of her stories—great stuff. Not tonight, though. She’s got to be pretty worn out, I’d bet. We’ll see you in the morning.”

The doctor was spreading a mat out in front of the cave entrance, just as Jared had.

“Keep an eye on this,” Jeb said, laying the gun beside the mat.

“Are you okay, Wanda?” Jamie asked. “You’re shaking.”

I hadn’t realized it, but my whole body was quivering. I didn’t answer him—my throat felt swollen shut.

“Now, now,” Jeb said in a soothing voice. “I asked Doc if he minded taking a shift. You don’t need to worry about anything. Doc’s an honorable man.”

The doctor smiled a sleepy smile. “I’m not going to hurt you… Wanda, is it? I promise. I’ll just keep watch while you sleep.”

I bit my lip, and the quivering didn’t stop.

Jeb seemed to think everything was settled, though. “Night, Wanda. Night, Doc,” he said as he started back down the hall.

Jamie hesitated, looking at me with a worried expression. “Doc’s okay,” he promised in a whisper.

“C’mon, boy, it’s late!”

Jamie hurried off after Jeb.

I watched the doctor when they were gone, waiting for some change. Doc’s relaxed expression didn’t waver, though, and he didn’t touch the gun. He stretched his long frame out on the mat, his calves and feet hanging off the end. Lying down, he looked much smaller, he was so rail thin.

“Good night,” he murmured drowsily.

Of course I didn’t answer. I watched him in the dull moonlight, timing the rise and fall of his chest by the sound of the pulse thudding in my ears. His breathing slowed and got deeper, and then he began to quietly snore.

It could have been an act, but even if it was, there wasn’t much I could do about it. Silently, I crept deeper into the room, till I felt the edge of the mattress against my back. I’d promised myself that I would not disturb this place, but it probably wouldn’t hurt anything if I just curled up on the foot of the bed. The floor was rough and so hard.