The Host (The Host #1)(22)

I jerked away from her, my face flushing.

“I’m sorry,” she muttered, her face darkening, too. “That was impolite. Forget I said that.”

“I’m going home. Don’t follow.”

“I have to, Wanderer. It’s my job.”

“Why do you care so much about a few spare humans? Why? How do you justify your job anymore? We’ve won! It’s time for you to join society and do something productive!”

My questions, my implied accusations, did not ruffle her.

“Wherever the fringes of their world touch ours there is death.” She spoke the words peacefully, and for a moment I glimpsed a different person in her face. It surprised me to realize that she deeply believed in what she did. Part of me had supposed that she only chose to seek because she illicitly craved the violence. “If even one soul is lost to your Jared or your Jamie, that is one soul too many. Until there is total peace on this planet, my job will be justified. As long as there are Jareds surviving, I am needed to protect our kind. As long as there are Melanies leading souls around by the nose…”

I turned my back on her and headed for my apartment with long strides that would force her to run if she wanted to keep up.

“Don’t lose yourself, Wanderer!” she called after me. “Time is running out for you!” She paused, then shouted more loudly. “Inform me when I’m to start calling you Melanie!”

Her voice faded as the space between us grew. I knew she would follow at her own pace. This last uncomfortable week—seeing her face in the back of every class, hearing her footsteps behind me on the sidewalk every day—was nothing compared to what was coming. She was going to make my life a misery.

It felt as if Melanie were bouncing violently against the inner walls of my skull.

Let’s get her canned. Tell her higher-ups that she did something unacceptable. Assaulted us. It’s our word against hers —

In a human world, I reminded her, almost sad that I didn’t have access to that sort of recourse. There are no higher-ups, in that sense. Everyone works together as equals. There are those whom many report to, in order to keep the information organized, and councils who make decisions about that information, but they won’t remove her from an assignment she wants. You see, it works like —

Who cares how it works if it doesn’t help us? I know—let’s kill her! A gratuitous image of my hands tightening around the Seeker’s neck filled my head.

That sort of thing is exactly why my kind is better left in charge of this place.

Get off your high horse. You’d enjoy it as much as I would. The image returned, the Seeker’s face turning blue in our imagination, but this time it was accompanied by a fierce wave of pleasure.

That’s you, not me. My statement was true; the image sickened me. But it was also perilously close to false—in that I would very much enjoy never seeing the Seeker again.

What do we do now? I’m not giving up. You’re not giving up. And that wretched Seeker is sure as hell not giving up!

I didn’t answer her. I didn’t have a ready answer.

It was quiet in my head for a brief moment. That was nice. I wished the silence could last. But there was only one way to buy my peace. Was I willing to pay the price? Did I have a choice anymore?

Melanie slowly calmed. By the time I was through the front door, locking behind me the bolts that I had never before turned—human artifacts that had no place in a peaceful world—her thoughts were contemplative.

I’d never thought about how you all carry on your species. I didn’t know it was like that.

We take it very seriously, as you can imagine. Thanks for your concern. She wasn’t bothered by the thick edge of irony in the thought.

She was still musing over this discovery while I turned on my computer and began to look for shuttle flights. It was a moment before she was aware of what I was doing.

Where are we going? The thought held a flicker of panic. I felt her awareness begin to rifle through my head, her touch like the soft brush of feathers, searching for anything I might be keeping from her.

I decided to save her the search. I’m going to Chicago.

The panic was more than a flicker now. Why?

I’m going to see the Healer. I don’t trust her. I want to talk to him before I make my decision.

There was a brief silence before she spoke again.

The decision to kill me?

Yes, that one.

CHAPTER 8

Loved

You’re afraid to fly?” The Seeker’s voice was full of disbelief edging toward mockery. “You’ve traveled through deep space eight times and you’re afraid to take a shuttle to Tucson, Arizona?”

“First of all, I’m not afraid. Second, when I traveled through deep space I wasn’t exactly aware of where I was, what with being stored in a hibernation chamber. And third, this host gets motion sickness on shuttles.”

The Seeker rolled her eyes in disgust. “So take medication! What would you have done if Healer Fords hadn’t relocated to Saint Mary’s? Would you be driving to Chicago?”

“No. But since the option of driving is now reasonable, I will take it. It will be nice to see a bit more of this world. The desert can be stunning —”

“The desert is dead boring.”

“—and I’m not in any hurry. I have many things to think through, and I will appreciate some time alone.” I looked pointedly at her as I emphasized the last word.