The Gamble (Colorado Mountain #1)(174)
“I should –” I started to slide from the stool but Harry’s eyes pinned me to the spot.
“Then you blow into town, you.” His voice got low, his eyes did a sweep of me again and he continued, “The way you look, the way you talk, the way you dress, pure f**kin’ class. No one knows who you are, you come from f**kin’ England and suddenly you’re makin’ out with him at The Dog, pressed to him like he was some kind of God or somethin’. You’re hot, you could have anyone, point your finger at anyone in this bar, you’d have him,” he informed me. “So of course he’d nail you.”
“It isn’t like that,” I whispered.
His brows shot up. “No? So he’s let you in? All the ones before you and he’s let you in? You’re hot, Nina, shit, I’d do you in a second, count my lucky stars someone like you gave me a shot, twist myself into knots to lay the world at your feet, so maybe he has. What do I know? You can probably give him a baby, Anna couldn’t do that. But, you should know, girl, and not anyone’s gonna tell you this but me, everyone hopin’ you’re the one, you’re the one that’ll heal all his f**kin’ wounds. You’re hot, you’re sweet, you’re even funny. But you should know, what you ain’t is Anna.”
It was a wonder I didn’t fall off my stool straight to the floor, his verbal blow was so vicious.
Instead, I swallowed and suggested, “Maybe I should leave you to it.”
He lifted his drink but offered, “You get the urge to heal my wounds, gorgeous, just say the f**kin’ word.”
I sucked in breath, deciding this was not Harry, this was drink and anger and Shauna being such a bitch and him taking care of her for so long, it was all that talking. Therefore, I thought I should make some effort to help.
I leaned forward, telling him, “She isn’t worth this, Harry.”
Harry looked away and took a sip before he asked, “Yeah?”
“I know Max is a friend. He’s been your friend a long time. You’re saying this because you’re angry about Shauna and, Harry,” I put my hand on his forearm, “she isn’t worth this.”
Harry’s eyes went across the bar to Max, his mouth got hard and he downed the last of his drink.
Then he looked at me. “Yeah, Nina, you’re right. ‘Course. I got sloppy seconds from Max with Shauna. Thirds, you count Curt. So you’re right, she ain’t worth it.”
“You’re a good guy, Harry,” I said gently and Harry’s face twisted in a way that was so hostile, so frightening, it was difficult to witness and I felt my body go completely still.
“Yeah,” he said again, “a good guy.” He leaned into me and whispered, “So good, I’ll repeat myself because I figure you’re a good woman and you deserve it and you might be wrapped up in him now but one day you’ll learn you coulda done better. He loved her, Nina, she was his world. When a woman is a man’s world and he loses her, ain’t nothin’ gonna take the place of that and you gotta know that. This is somethin’ he wants, Max’ll do good by you but he’ll know and the whole town’ll know, you ain’t that to him, what Anna was, you never will be. So I’m thinkin’, bein’ a good guy and all, you should know that too.”
I sat there stunned silent, my heart beating madly, my lungs hurting, the tears burning the backs of my eyes, all my worst imaginings come true in Harry’s brutally honest drunken blather.
Harry held my eyes then his hand covered mine on his arm, his face gentling and he kept whispering, “Shit, Nina, I’m a dick.”
I leaned away and slid my hand out from under his, saying quickly, “That’s okay.”
“I’m just pissed. Shauna made me look the fool.”
“I understand.”
He leaned into the space I vacated, looking like he’d teeter right off his stool. “Nina, seriously, don’t listen to my shit. Max’s a good guy. I’m just bein’ an ass**le.”
“Right,” I whispered. “I… I need some fresh air. Um… do… do you want a ride home? I could ask Brody, my stepdad, Steve –”
He shook his head. “I’ll ask Jake to call Thrifty’s, get me a taxi.”
I nodded my head. “I’m just going to step outside a minute.”
“Nina –” he started but I moved as fast as I could to escape.
I left my untouched beer on the bar and started toward the door, lifting my hand to pull my hair out of my face. Holding it at the back of my head in a bunch, I looked over to the pool tables. Max had his back to me and I watched him lean over, lining up a shot.
I looked to Mom’s table and saw Arlene, Linda and Jenna leaned into Mom, listening with rapt attention likely to Mom telling some crazy, but true, story.
But Kami’s eyes were on me.
That was fine. In the dark of the bar she couldn’t see what I was certain my face looked like and even if she could, she was Kami. She wouldn’t care.
I headed out the door without my coat, the chill night air instantly biting into my skin and I welcomed it. Something to focus on, something not the jumble of thoughts piercing my brain. I looked to my right, my left then headed right to the end of the building where an overhead light illuminating the parking lot was out. Darkness, aloneness, somewhere to get my thoughts together or, better yet, force them out of my head.