The Gamble (Colorado Mountain #1)(143)

“No,” I replied honestly, Bitsy’s eyes grew wide and they instantly flew to Max who was standing just inside the room by Steve, Brody and some other person, a man I didn’t know.

I thought Bitsy looking at Max was telling. I shoved that back, focused and guided Mindy to the couch where we sat, me at her left side.

“Bitsy, can you get close, please, right up here, in front of Mindy?” I called as Mom sat down on Mindy’s right side.

Bitsy wheeled forward and got close to Mindy’s front as Mindy looked between the lot of us.

I looked at Bitsy and stated softly, “I know you’ve had a tough day, a tough week and I wish I had time to explain what was happening here so you wouldn’t be blind-sighted by this. But I didn’t and now, I need you. This is going to be hard, but, will you trust me?”

Her eyes were moving between Mindy, Mom and me and then she looked at me and nodded.

“Can you take just a little bit more?” I prompted when Bitsy didn’t answer.

“I… I think so,” Bitsy answered.

“Neens, what’s this –” Mindy started but I talked over her, keeping my gaze steady on Bitsy.

“Bitsy, yesterday, Mindy tried to commit suicide,” I announced.

Bitsy gasped and jolted back in her chair. Mindy tensed and then started to stand up but I grabbed her hand on one side and Mom grabbed the other side, holding her down.

I turned to Mindy and put a hand to her knee. “Yesterday, darling, yesterday you said you didn’t want anyone to know. And, I promise you, in anything else, anything else, I would respect your wishes.” I lifted my hand from her thigh, cupped her cheek and whispered, “Not this. This is too important.”

“Neens, I can’t do this,” Mindy whispered back, tears filling her eyes, fear stark on her face and my courage took a direct hit but I forged onward.

“Oh yes you can, sweetheart, you can because you’ve got strong women all around you and we’re going to help you do this,” I told her and the tears slid down her cheeks. “You know I was beaten by my boyfriend. You know that Bitsy’s legs were taken away and all that happened to her recently. What you don’t know is that my Dad cheated on my Mom while she was pregnant with me and left her without looking back at either of us for seven years. She’s now married to the love of her life and happy as a clam.”

“Neens –” Mindy whispered on a ragged breath.

“What I’m saying is, life socks it to us and we survive.”

“Neens –”

“We fight.”

She shook her head and the tears continued to fall.

“And when we can’t fight, we learn to turn to others who’ve learned life’s lessons, who’ve survived, who’ll gather close and help us make it through.”

She kept shaking her head and tried to pull away but I dropped her hand and grabbed her face with both of mine.

My voice was fierce when I said, “Mins, we don’t give up.”

I heard crying, Mindy’s and others, maybe Barb, but I kept my eyes glued to Mindy.

“We never give up.”

“Neens –”

I interrupted again and said, “You’re loved.”

“I know,” she whispered, her face blanching at the same time it flinched, what she did to those who cared about her the day before scored into her features.

“No one is angry at you,” I assured her. “We all understand.”

She shook her head. “No you don’t.”

“Oh yes, darling, we do. And we hurt for you and that’s a beautiful thing.”

“It isn’t.”

“It is. To be that loved, Mindy, it’s beautiful.”

She closed her eyes tight and then opened them.

“You’re strong.” It was an accusation.

“I’m not. What I am is someone who has a great Mom, I had a wonderful brother and I have a lot of good friends who helped me through. They taught me things along the way, filled me up with something that I could keep with me and I didn’t know what it was, not until now. I didn’t know they were filling me with something I could give away when it was my time to give. Something that I’m giving now, to you.”

She bit her lip and swallowed before whispering, “I can’t stop thinking about it.”

“Of course not, you were violated,” I whispered back. “What happened to you was hideous.”

“I’m weak.”

I pulled her face close to mine as I leaned in and rested my forehead to hers. “Then promise to find help to get strong.”

“I can’t get clean.”

“That’s because you’re polishing a diamond. How much more brilliant do you want it to shine, my lovely?”

Her body jerked so violently, her head came away from my hands.

“Mindy,” Bitsy called, I dropped my hands and Mindy struggled but she looked at Bitsy who lifted her arms toward the younger girl. “Come here, baby, I need you to listen to me now.” Mindy shook her head, Bitsy leaned forward and urged, “Please, give me your hands.”

“I can’t,” Mindy sobbed.

Bitsy leaned forward further and took Mindy’s hands. Lifting them up between them, she shook them hard.