The Demigod Diaries (The Heroes of Olympus)(32)

Jason cleared his throat. “So…what are you guys drinking if it isn’t wine?”

Babette laughed. “The beverage of the season! Behold the power of the thyrsus rod!”

She slammed her pinecone staff against the ground and a white geyser bubbled up. “Eggnog!”

Maenads rushed forward to fill their goblets.

“Merry Christmas!” one yelled.

“Party!” another said.

“Kill everything!” said a third.

Piper took a step back. “You’re…drunk on eggnog?”

“Whee!” Buffy sloshed her eggnog and gave Leo a frothy grin. “Kill things! With a sprinkle of nutmeg!”

Leo decided never to drink eggnog again.

“But enough talk, my lord,” Babette said. “You’ve been naughty, keeping yourself hidden! You changed your e-mail and phone number. One might think the great Dionysus was trying to avoid his Maenads!”

Jason removed another girl’s hands from his shoulders. “Can’t imagine why the great Dionysus would do that.”

Babette sized up Jason. “This one is a sacrifice, obviously. We should start the festivities by ripping him apart. The party planner girl can prove herself by helping us!”

“Or,” Leo said, “we could start with some appetizers. Crispy Cheese ’n’ Wieners. Taquitos. Maybe some chips and queso. And…wait, I know! We need a table to put them on.”

Babette’s smile wavered. The snakes hissed around her pinecone staff. “A table?”

“Cheese ’n’ Wieners?” Trixie added hopefully.

“Yeah, a table!” Leo snapped his fingers and pointed toward the end of the clearing. “You know what—I think I saw one walking that way. Why don’t you guys wait here, and drink some eggnog or whatever, and my friends and I will go get the table. We’ll be right back!”

He started to leave, but two of the Maenads pushed him back. The push didn’t seem exactly playful.

Babette’s eyes turned an even deeper red. “Why is my lord Dionysus so interested in furniture? Where is your leopard? And your wine cup?”

Leo gulped. “Yeah. Wine cup. Silly me.” He reached into his tool bag. He prayed it would produce a wine cup for him, but that wasn’t exactly a tool. He grabbed something, pulled it out, and found himself holding a lug wrench.

“Hey, look at that,” he said weakly. “There’s some godly magic right there, huh? What’s a party without…a lug wrench?”

The Maenads stared at him. Some frowned. Others were cross-eyed from the eggnog.

Jason stepped to his side. “Hey, um, Dionysus…maybe we should talk. Like, in private. You know…about party stuff.”

“We’ll be right back!” Piper announced. “Just wait here, you guys. Okay?”

Her voice was almost electric with charmspeak, but the Maenads didn’t appear moved.

“No, you will stay.” Babette’s eyes bored into Leo’s. “You do not act like Dionysus. Those who fail to honor the god, those who dare to work instead of partying—they must be ripped apart. And anyone who dares to impersonate the god, he must die even more painfully.”

“Wine!” Leo yelped. “Did I mention how much I love wine?”

Babette didn’t look convinced. “If you are the god of parties, you will know the order of our revelries. Prove it! Lead us!”

Leo felt trapped. He’d once been stuck in a cave on top of Pikes Peak, surrounded by a pack of werewolves. Another time he’d been stuck in an abandoned factory with a family of evil Cyclopes. But this—standing in an open clearing with a dozen pretty girls—was much worse.

“Sure!” His voice squeaked. “Revelries. So we start with the Hokey Pokey—”

Trixie snarled. “No, my lord. The Hokey Pokey is second.”

“Right,” Leo said. “First is the limbo contest, then the Hokey Pokey. Then, um, pin the tail on the donkey—”

“Wrong!” Babette’s eyes turned completely red. The Kool-Aid darkened in her veins, making a web of red lines like ivy under her skin. “Last chance, and I’ll even give you a hint. We begin by singing the Bacchanalian Jingle. You do remember it, don’t you?”

Leo’s tongue felt like sandpaper.

Piper put her hand on his arm. “Of course he remembers it.” Her eyes said, Run.

Jason’s knuckles turned white on the hilt of his sword.

Leo hated singing. He cleared his throat and started warbling the first thing that came into his head—something he’d watched online while he worked on the Argo II.

After a few lines, Candy hissed. “That is not the Bacchanalian Jingle! That is the theme song for Psych!”

“Kill the unbelievers!” Babette screamed.

Leo knew an exit cue when he heard one.

He pulled a reliable trick. From his tool belt, he grabbed a flask of oil and splashed it in an arc in front of him, dousing the Maenads. He didn’t want to hurt anyone, but he reminded himself these girls weren’t human. They were nature spirits bent on ripping him apart. He summoned fire into his hands and set the oil ablaze.

A wall of flames engulfed the nymphs. Jason and Piper did a one-eighty and ran. Leo was right behind them.

He expected to hear screaming from the Maenads. Instead, he heard laughter. He glanced back and saw the Maenads dancing through the flames in their bare feet. Their dresses were smoldering, but the Maenads didn’t seem to care. They leaped through the fire like they were playing in a sprinkler.