The Dead Zone(8)

But Johnny was fun, easy to be with. And he did attract her sexually - just how strongly she couldn't honestly say, at least not yet. A week ago, after the Friday they'd had off for the October teachers' convention in Waterville, he had invited her back to his apartment for a home-cooked spaghetti dinner. While the sauce simmered, he had dashed around the corner to get some wine and had come back with two bottles of Apple Zapple. Like announcing his bathroom calls, it was somehow Johnny's style.

After the meal they had watched TV and that had turned to necking and God knew what that might have turned into if a couple of his friends, instructors from the university, hadn't turned up with a faculty position paper on academic freedom. They wanted Johnny to look it over and see what he thought. He had done so, but with noticeably less good will than was usual with him. She had noticed that with a warm, secret delight and the ache in her own loins - the unfulfilled ache - had also delighted her, and that night she hadn't killed it with a douche.

She turned away from the window and walked over to the sofa where Johnny had left the mask.

'Happy Halloween,' she snorted, and laughed a little.

'What?' Johnny called out.

'I said if you don't come pretty quick I'm going with-out you.'

'Be right out.'

'Swell!'

She ran a finger over the Jekyll-and-Hyde mask, kindly Dr. Jekyll the left half, ferocious, subhuman Hyde the right half. Where will we be by Thanksgiving? she wondered. Or by Christmas?

The thought sent a funny, excited little thrill shooting through her. She liked him. He was a perfectly ordinary, sweet man.

She looked down at the mask again, horrible Hyde growing out of Jekyll's face like a lumpy carcinoma. It had been treated with fluorescent paint so it would glow in the dark.

What's ordinary? Nothing, nobody. Not really. If he was so ordinary, how could he be planning to wear something like that into his homeroom and still be confident of keeping order? And how can the kids call him Frankenstein and still respect and like him? What's ordinary?

Johnny came out, brushing through the beaded curtain that divided the bedroom and bathroom off from the living room.

If he wants me to go to bed with him tonight, l think I'm going to say okay.

And it was a warm thought, like coming home.

'What are you grinning about?'

'Nothing,' she said, tossing the mask back to the sofa.

'No, really. Was it something good?'

'Johnny,' she said, putting a hand on his chest and standing on tiptoe to kiss him lightly, 'some things will never be told. Come on, let's go.'

2.

They paused downstairs in the foyer while he buttoned his denim jacket, and she found her eyes drawn again to the STRIKE! poster with its clenched fist and flaming background.

'There'll be another student strike this year,' he said, following her eyes.

'The war?'

'That's only going to be part of it this time. Vietnam and the fight over ROTC and Kent State have activated more students than ever before. I doubt if there's ever been a time when there were so few grunts taking up space at the university.'

'What do you mean, grunts?'

'Kids just studying to make grades, with no interest in the system except that it provides them with a ten-thousand-dollar a year job when they get out. A grunt is a student who gives a shit about nothing except his sheep skin. That's over. Most of them are awake. There are going to be some big changes.'

'Is that important to you? Even though you're out?'

He drew himself up. 'Madam, I am an alumnus. Smith, class of '70. Fill the stems to dear old Maine.'

She smiled. 'Come on, let's go. I want a ride on the whip before they shut it down for the night.'

'Very good,' he said, taking her arm. 'I just happen to have your car parked around the corner.'

'And eight dollars. The evening fairly glitters before us.

The night was overcast but not rainy, mild for late October. Overhead, a quarter moon was struggling to make it through the cloud cover. Johnny slipped an arm around her and she moved closer to him.

'You know, I think an awful lot of you, Sarah.' His tone was almost offhand, but only almost. Her heart slowed a little and then made speed for a dozen beats or so.

'Really?'

'I guess this Dan guy, he hurt you, didn't he?'

'I don't know what he did to me,' she said truthfully.

The yellow blinker, a block behind them now, made their shadows appear and disappear on the concrete in front of them.

Johnny appeared to think this over. 'I wouldn't want to do that,' he said finally.

'No, I know that. But Johnny... give it time.'

'Yeah,' he said. 'Time. We've got that, I guess.' And that would come back to her, awake and even more strongly in her dreams, in tones of inexpressible bitterness and loss.

They went around the corner and Johnny opened the passenger door for her. He went around and got in behind the wheel. 'You cold?'

'No,' she said. 'It's a great night for it.'

'It is,' he agreed, and pulled away from the curb. Her -thoughts went back to that ridiculous mask. Half Jekyll with Johnny's blue eye visible behind the widened-O eyesocket of the surprised doctor - Say, that's some cocktail I invented last night) but l don't think they'll be able to move it in the bars - and that side was all right because you could see a bit of Johnny inside. It was the Hyde part that had scared her silly, because that eye was closed down to a slit. It could have been anybody. Anybody at all. Dan, for instance.