The Chance (Thunder Point #4)(88)

“I don’t have glasses up here,” Ray Anne said.

Carrie took a couple of plastic wineglasses out of her other pocket, fixing the stems on them. “I’m a caterer,” she said, deadpan.

“Wow, this is really something,” Lou said again. “Why haven’t I ever seen this before?”

“Because it’s private,” Ray Anne said.

“But Carrie has obviously seen it....”

“I imposed on Ray Anne when Ashley was having her hard time over breaking up with stupid Downy last year, when we were all holding our breath to see if she was suicidal or just brokenhearted. Ray Anne brought me up here. We drank a bottle of wine and talked about all our broken hearts. It helped, except there’s no broken heart like your daughter’s or granddaughter’s. I’d have my heart carved out of my chest a hundred times rather than watch them go through it.”

Lou sat down on a beanbag and reached for a glass of wine.

“How about me?” Ray Anne asked. “How do you like watching me go through it?”

“You’ve been through it before,” Carrie said. “I’m sorry, Ray Anne. But you’re smart and independent and you’ll heal.”

“Maybe not for a few days,” she said.

“Talk about him,” Lou said. “Did you love him?”

“I loved them all,” Ray Anne said, tipping the bottle over her glass. “I really did. But I think I maybe loved Al the best.”

“Don’t you always feel that way?”

“Not always, no,” Ray Anne said. “Sometimes I think they’re fun, or maybe they’re sexy. Or maybe they make a decent living and seem civilized and in want of a good partner. Or...I don’t know. Sometimes they can dance....”

Lou spewed a mouthful of wine. “They can dance?”

“I stopped looking for happily ever after a long time ago,” Ray Anne said. “I haven’t been expecting some perfect man to come along and carry me off on his charger. I just don’t want to be alone all the time. And I like...you know...sex.”

“We know,” Carrie and Lou said at the same time.

“That’s just who I am,” she said. “Al liked everything about me. I knew he never stayed in one place for long but I had no idea he was leaving. It seemed like he had a lot to anchor him here.”

“Like what?”

“Like his job, for one thing. He loved working with Eric. He likes the way Eric does business. He called it ‘straight up,’ which I guess means straightforward and honest. Then he got himself involved in those Russell boys with the sick mother. That oldest one, Justin, he’d started depending on Al. I can believe he walked away from me but I’m having a hard time thinking about him walking away from that boy.”

“Why can you believe he walked away from you?” Lou asked.

Ray Anne shrugged and looked down. “Well, hell. They always leave me before long.”

Lou coughed. “No!” she barked. “No, no, no, no, no! They become mental eventually and fail to see what’s before them! Ray Anne, you’re a good person. You don’t deserve that. I want you to stop thinking you deserve that right now. This second.”

“Well, they do,” she said.

“And you leave them sometimes!”

“Yeah, but...”

“Look, we’re women of some...ahem...experience. We’ve been around. We’ve broken up with a few men, a few of the imbeciles have broken up with us, but this has nothing to do with who and what we are.”

“We are women, watch us roar,” Carrie said tiredly. Then she yawned.

“Except Carrie,” Lou amended.

“I’m a very fast learner. When my husband walked out on me, left me with no income and a small child, I was suddenly and not surprisingly no longer interested in romance. I was interested in paying the rent and grocery bill. And I’ve been perfectly happy that way.”

“You might be happier if you got laid once in a while,” Lou said. To Carrie’s sharp and sudden stare, Lou put up a hand. “Just saying...” Then she pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and rang up a number. “Hey, Joe, honey. Listen, I’m over at Ray Anne’s with Carrie and we’re working our way through a large bottle of wine. I’m going to have to stay over, unless you want to pick me up. Why? Because Ray Anne got dumped and she’s a little depressed.”

“Nice,” Ray Anne said, sipping. “Bitch...”

“You do?” Lou asked into the phone. “That’s so sweet. Don’t be early. I’m going to have to drink a lot of wine to get her through this. Okay. I love you, too.” Then she ended the call and smiled dreamily at her friends. Carrie was reclining on the beanbag, holding her wine perched on her belly. “He likes sleeping with me,” she said.

“That’s good because I don’t,” Ray Anne said.

“So, what’s going to be hardest to give up?” Lou asked.

“Did you know him?”

“A little,” Lou said. “Not well, but he seemed likable.”

“Well, I loved that he was so even-tempered. Nothing really got to him, you know? When he told me about the boys, it made him sad for them. And he cared about them—he drove them to see their mother a few times and we’re talking hours of driving. Hours. He could talk about personal things pretty easily—when have you ever seen that in a man. He was so sensitive and kind and yet did you get a load of that body. I think he said he was fifty-six and he’s hard as a rock. But that smile—he has the greatest smile. He’s funny, too. He’s interesting—he’s done so many different things. He can discuss anything. He’s brilliant, though I suspect he can’t read....”