The Chance (Thunder Point #4)(45)

“I told him I’d been recommended for a service award, for saving lives.” Tears gathered in her eyes. “He said I’d lost my mind and deserved an award for being the biggest idiot. That only a fool would take the risks I took routinely and if I wanted to save lives, there were more logical, safer and profitable ways.” She took a breath. “My arm was still in a sling, I was feeling pretty weak and vulnerable and not too sure of myself. Then he said if I expected him to celebrate the fact that I’d stopped a bullet I was dreaming. Didn’t I know doctors saved lives every day without putting themselves in mortal danger? And I lost it. I told him he was a self-centered bastard and I was finished with his criticism and his disrespectful treatment. He said I was the disrespectful one and he was bloody tired of my bragging and wearing my close calls like a badge of honor. There was a lot of arguing that evolved into yelling. It was horrible.”

There was a long moment of silence before Eric said, “Wow.”

“It disrupted the whole family. Pax was furious with him and worried about me. The girls were upset and scared. Genevieve was stunned. But for me, there was just no more going on. I was recovering from an injury that nearly cost me my life and he accused me of showing off! I haven’t spoken to him since. He’s a popular doctor, pretty well-liked as doctors go even if he can be a narcissistic dick sometimes.... But the way he talks to me? It’s terrible. And it hurts. It just...hurts.”

Eric was speechless. Finally he asked, “And your mother?”

“A goddess. One of the kindest, most generous women I’ve ever known. She was completely supportive. She hated that he wasn’t and most of the time she could shut him up before he said something really awful. She always said that Pax had more of her temperament, a much gentler nature, and I had more of my father’s. She said my father could have made a good operative—he’s fearless and stubborn and there’s no one more determined.”

“And she put up with that from your father?”

“They loved each other. He didn’t give her any shit and she could put him in his place with one word. But then she died and he was on the loose. There was no one to keep him in line.”

“He must not know how much this hurts you,” Eric said.

“Oh, I think he knows,” she said. “And he thinks his opinions are more important than my feelings. So I’m done. Unless he can change his attitude, I don’t need him in my life. The problem is—I’m thirty-three, I’ve been putting up with this my whole life, and it can still break my heart.”

Eric pulled her into his arms and held her. “I’m sorry, baby. I wish I knew of a solution....”

“This is the solution,” she said. “I have to let it go. Let him go. And carry on. I miss my mother every day.”

“Oh, she’s not all that far away,” he said, brushing her hair away from her face. “I’ve had your dumplings, remember.”

She smiled back at him. “Boy, have you ever.”

* * *

Laine remembered when her mother had said, “Do what makes your heart beat.” She said that right until she died. But she had also said, “You don’t need approval and you don’t need an excuse or explanation for living your own life. Remember that.”

Oh, she remembered. But it was easy for her mother, who had the approval of her parents and her husband and her children. Easy for Pax, who had done as he was expected to do. Laine was the only one who had really defied custom, gone her own way, quite successfully, and yet was considered by her father to be a failure.

She had Eric’s support and even though they were still new, that meant so much to her. She was so anxious to have Pax get to know him. In fact, Eric and Pax were a lot alike, when she thought about it.

She flew to San Francisco and took the red-eye into Boston. She had given Pax the flight details and said she would be waiting at his house when the girls came home from school and when he was done at the hospital. But when she deplaned at 8:30 a.m. there were two little blonde bombshells standing on the curb near the taxi line, jumping up and down, yelling at her. “Auntie Lainie! Auntie Lainie!”

It took her a moment to catch her breath. She put her hand to her chest and gasped in sheer, tear-gathering delight. She opened her arms to them and they rushed her, nearly knocking her over. “My babes, my angels! Are you angels? You promised you would be angels!”

They giggled and said, one at a time, “You said to be devils!” and “We were very bad, like you said!”

“Oh, thank goodness! I’m proud of you!”

“And we have blue polish for our toes,” Missy said.

“And I have silver,” Sissy said.

“But you have school!”

There was a fit of fake coughing. “We’re very sick!” Sissy said.

“I can see that, poor devils!”

Laine stood up and looked into the kind blue eyes of the sister-in-law she made work so hard for her affection. “I told Pax I’d grab a cab.”

“We can’t have that,” Genevieve said.

“I can’t believe you kept them home from school. You never do that!”

“You only have two days,” she said. “We don’t want to waste a second of it. The girls are so thrilled. You guys really have to use Skype more often.”