The Chance (Thunder Point #4)(39)

“You looked,” he said with a shallow laugh. “How does that not surprise me.”

“Occupational hazard....”

“It’s okay. I have no secrets.”

“Not that I could find....”

“I’m sure you don’t care, but I didn’t run a background check on you.”

She chuckled. “I’d love to see you try.” She glanced over her shoulder. “What should I do about my dad?”

“I don’t know, Laine. It must hurt so much. Instinct says, he’s your dad. Do your best to get along, you won’t have him forever. And you can fix your own boundaries.”

“Which I have. I moved to the other coast and changed my number.”

“Pretty serious boundaries,” he said. “That explains why my call to you didn’t go through a couple of hours ago.”

“Sorry. I was caught up in what I’d done. I can usually make very dramatic moves without getting emotional, but this time... Well, I’ve been threatening to just disengage from Senior since our relationship is at least fifty percent misery. But I kept hoping....”

“Understandable,” Eric went on. “If I were your best friend and you were dating a guy who treated you like he owned you, I’d tell you to break away. Fast. Because you just don’t treat a person you love like that. It’s not good. It won’t work. For either of you.”

“I think you are my best friend,” she said. “And I don’t think my father has ever loved me. If he loved me, wouldn’t he be nicer to me?”

“Pax is your best friend,” he reminded her.

“He’s my twin. It’s a whole different thing. But you? You’re a friend. And you’re wonderful with scalp massage.”

He chuckled. “As for your dad, who knows what makes him tick. If you’ve told him how he makes you feel and nothing changes, maybe he just doesn’t get it.”

“Will you move in with me?” she asked.

He stopped massaging.

“I scared you, didn’t I?”

He put his hands on her shoulders. “Turn around for me, Laine.” She moved around so she was facing him and crossed her legs. “You’ve never lived with anyone, have you?”

She shook her head. “Have you lived with a lot of people?”

“Just Cara. Look, I know what I told you about that, that it had run its course and we knew it. But I didn’t go into it thinking it had an expiration date on it. I thought our relationship would get stronger. I knew there would be adjustments to sharing space, but I thought once we figured it out, it would be easy. It wasn’t easy. And it didn’t get stronger.”

“You don’t think we’d get stronger?”

“For what’s left of your leave from the FBI? Before you go back to the East Coast and get back to doing work you can’t talk about?”

“Oh. You want to see some long-term potential before you even share a closet? Even though we sleep together every night and you have a key and your own toothbrush?”

“I don’t know if this will make any sense, Laine, but here goes.... If you told me right now that you’re done here, that you’re leaving next week to go back to that life you left behind, that would really bite. I’m not done with you, not by a long shot. It would be hard, but it wouldn’t be a shock. I could still grab my toothbrush, the spare jeans, extra jacket, garage uniform, leave my key on the kitchen counter and go back to my place. Not much of a place, but I can live with it. But the idea of living with you for a year, getting deeper and deeper into you and then suddenly—bam—there’s nothing. That just feels bigger than what I’m up to. I can’t explain it any better.”

“You’re scared,” she said.

He gave a nod. “Scared.”

“Were you scared with Cara?”

He shook his head. “Not at all. Not scared, not worried, not much in love. Comfortable and relaxed with her, sure. We worked well together. But I never once thought, if she leaves me I’ll crash.”

That actually made her smile. “You’re in love with me.”

“Is that what it is? I wouldn’t know. All I know is I haven’t been in this place before. It’s brand-new. It’s terrifying. Why couldn’t I feel this way about someone simpler? Easier to understand? Someone I have something in common with?”

“I guess I’m a big risk. I like that. I’d like to take the chance. You’ll do what you think is best, but I’d love to live with you. I’ve never done it before, but I think I could do it with you. Or you can keep that hotel room. But gee, I hope you don’t stop spending the night....”

“I probably couldn’t if I tried.”

“I’m so happy about that!”

“So here’s the deal. You know that judge you called the hanging judge? He was the best judge there ever was. I’ll never forget what he said when he sentenced me. He said, ‘Son, you probably feel completely ruined and lost, but you’re really the luckiest man I know. You’re stripped down to nothing. You’ve got nothing but another chance. It’s going to go one of two ways. You’re either going to sink even lower, find ways to make your life harder and meaner. Or you’re going to use this time to turn it around, build the kind of life you can be proud of. It’s all on you. Let’s see what you’ve got.’” He ran a knuckle along her cheek. “I remember the day he sentenced me—May 19. I send him a thank-you note every year on that day.”