The Blood of Olympus (The Heroes of Olympus #5)(84)

‘Large and dangerous,’ Jason guessed.

Piper scanned the room. ‘This must have been the sleeping area.’ Her voice echoed a little too loudly for Leo’s comfort. ‘The patients stayed here overnight. The god Asclepius was supposed to send them a dream, telling them what cure to ask for.’

‘How do you know that?’ Leo asked. ‘Annabeth told you?’

Piper looked offended. ‘I know stuff. That statue over there is Hygeia, the daughter of Asclepius. She’s the goddess of good health. That’s where we get the word hygiene.’

Jason studied the statue warily. ‘What’s with the snake and the cup?’

‘Uh, not sure,’ Piper admitted. ‘But back in the day this place – the Asclepeion – was a medical school as well as a hospital. All the best doctor-priests trained here. They would’ve worshipped both Asclepius and Hygeia.’

Leo wanted to say, Okay, good tour. Let’s leave.

The silence, the gleaming white tiles, the creepy smile on Hygeia’s face … it all made him want to crawl out of his skin. But Jason and Piper headed down the centre aisle towards the statue, so Leo figured he’d better follow.

Strewn across the benches were old magazines: Highlights for Children, Autumn, 20 B.C.E.; Hephaestus-TV Weekly – Aphrodite’s Latest Baby Bump; A: The Magazine of Asclepius – Ten Simple Tips to Get the Most out of Your Leeching!

‘It’s a reception area,’ Leo muttered. ‘I hate reception areas.’

Here and there, piles of dust and scattered bones lay on the floor, which did not say encouraging things about the average wait time.

‘Check it out.’ Jason pointed. ‘Were those signs here when we walked in? And that door?’

Leo didn’t think so. On the wall to the right of the statue, above a closed metal door, were two electronic signboards. The top one read:

THE DOCTOR IS:

INCARCERATED.

The sign below that read:

NOW SERVING NUMBER: 0000000

Jason squinted. ‘I can’t read it that far away. The doctor is …’

‘Incarcerated,’ Leo said. ‘Apollo warned me that Asclepius was being held under guard. Zeus didn’t want him sharing his medical secrets or something.’

‘Twenty bucks and a box of Froot Loops that statue is the guardian,’ Piper said.

‘I’m not taking that bet.’ Leo glanced at the nearest pile of waiting-room dust. ‘Well … I guess we take a number.’

The giant statue had other ideas.

When they got within five feet, she turned her head and looked at them. Her expression remained frozen. Her mouth didn’t move. But a voice issued from somewhere above, echoing through the room.

‘Do you have an appointment?’

Piper didn’t miss a beat. ‘Hello, Hygeia! Apollo sent us. We need to see Asclepius.’

The alabaster statue stepped off her dais. She might have been mechanical, but Leo couldn’t hear any moving parts. To be certain, he’d actually have to touch her, and he didn’t want to get that close.

‘I see.’ The statue kept smiling, though she didn’t sound pleased. ‘May I make a copy of your insurance cards?’

‘Ah, well …’ Piper faltered. ‘We don’t have them on us, but –’

‘No insurance cards?’ The statue shook her head. An exasperated sigh echoed through the chamber. ‘I suppose you haven’t prepared for your visit, either. Have you washed your hands thoroughly?’

‘Uh … yes?’ Piper said.

Leo looked at his hands, which, as usual, were streaked with grease and grime. He hid them behind his back.

‘Are you wearing clean underwear?’ the statue asked.

‘Hey, lady,’ Leo said, ‘that’s getting personal.’

‘You should always wear clean underwear to the doctor’s office,’ chided Hygeia. ‘I’m afraid you are a health hazard. You will have to be sanitized before we can proceed.’

The golden snake uncurled and dropped from her arm. It reared its head and hissed, flashing sabre-like fangs.

‘Uh, you know,’ Jason said, ‘getting sanitized by large snakes isn’t covered by our medical plan. Darn it.’

‘Oh, that doesn’t matter,’ Hygeia assured him. ‘Sanitizing is a community service. It’s complimentary!’

The snake lunged.

Leo had had a lot of practice dodging mechanical monsters, which was good, because the golden serpent was fast. Leo leaped to one side and the snake missed his head by an inch. He rolled and came up, hands blazing. As the snake attacked, Leo blasted it in the eyes, causing it to veer left and smash into the bench.

Piper and Jason went to work on Hygeia. They slashed through the statue’s knees, felling her like an alabaster Christmas tree. Her head hit a bench. Her chalice splashed steaming acid all over the floor. Jason and Piper moved in for the kill, but, before they could strike, Hygeia’s legs popped back on like they were magnetic. The goddess rose, still smiling.

‘Unacceptable,’ she said. ‘The doctor will not see you until you are properly sanitized.’

She sloshed her cup towards Piper, who jumped out of the way as more acid splashed across the nearest benches, dissolving the stone in a hissing cloud of steam.