The Anatomical Shape of a Heart(30)

He was momentarily confused. “Oh, uh, yeah,” he said, lowering his voice. “You saw that, huh?”

“One of your best pieces.”

“Thanks.” He cleared his throat and stuffed his hands into his pockets. “How’s Minnie?”

“We’re getting along better.”

He smiled softly. “That’s good.”

“I’ve looked for you when I’ve gone into the lab,” I said.

“It’s … been hectic.”

We stared at each other’s feet a few seconds. If this was all he was going to give, then maybe I had made a mistake in coming. I’d had deeper conversations with customers in my checkout line at the market. A weird mix of frustration and hurt made my chest feel tight.

“Okay, well then,” I said, vaguely moving my shoulders up and down in a gesture that wasn’t quite a shrug. “I’ll let you get back to whatever it was you were doing. See you around.”

I strode toward the door, more than aware of Andy watching me from behind the counter. An old man with a limp hobbled around a bookcase just as I was rounding it. I nearly bowled him over and had to make an awkward lunge to avoid him. As I did, a warm hand grabbed my elbow.

“Pardon me,” Jack said to the limping man as he danced around him to get to me. “Bex, wait. Please. I—” He pulled me over to one of the windows facing the street. “I’m not doing anything. I mean, you said ‘whatever it is’ I was doing, but it’s slow in here today. I was just doing some meditation.”

“Don’t let me stop you.”

“You already did.”

“Yeah, I went out of my way to see you because I like you, Jack. And I’m pretty sure you like me, too.”

“You have no idea how much.”

“Is there someone else?”

“No. Jesus. Definitely not.”

“Then stop shutting me out, and tell me what the hell happened at the hospital last week. I’m not going to sit around waiting for you to throw me a crumb. All of me or none of me—that’s what I’m offering.” I realized when I said this how much it sounded like something I’d overheard my mom say before my dad left. Which wasn’t totally fair, but I was trying to make a strong point.

“You’re right,” he said after a moment.

Well, yeah. I was. But I needed more than that from him, so I waited.

His head dropped. He leaned closer. I stared at the silvery pearl button on his cardigan as his breath rustled the stray wisp of fine hair around my temple that wouldn’t behave and stay put in my braids, no matter how I tried to tame it.

“I’ve missed you,” he murmured.

I had no idea how badly I’d wanted to hear that until he said it. Those small, barely there words erased gravity and made my feet rise off the bookstore carpet. I truly would not have been surprised if my head hit the ceiling.

I wanted to say something meaningful and honest in return. Something like “I’ve missed you, too” or “I thought I was going to die if I didn’t see you again.” But because I was overwhelmed, I settled on “Your button’s chipped.”

As he ducked his head to inspect it, I fit the edge of my fingernail into the triangular notch.

“Damage inflicted by a flying piece of board,” he said, extending a finger next to mine. “Andy was convinced he could karate chop a wooden piece of shelving that broke off beneath the counter, but”—his fingertip traced the edge of mine, slowly moving down and around my knuckle, a whisper of a touch that sent a rush of goose bumps over my arm—“the board didn’t break. It did, however, chip my button, and the corner nearly neutered me. But I was dumb enough to hold the damn thing, so I guess I deserved it.”

I snorted a laugh, meaning to be quiet but failing miserably. Embarrassed, I pulled my hand away. “Ugh, it’s like a library in here,” I complained.

“Shh,” he scolded, ten times louder than my laugh.

I glanced at the cash register. Andy was smiling. Yep, definitely watching us.

“You know, I was just checking the afternoon temp before you came,” Jack said. “It’s, like, sixty-seven degrees out there.”

Which meant it was probably foggy and a good five degrees colder back at home, but that didn’t matter much, since I wasn’t there. “Too bad you’re stuck in here meditating,” I said.

“Someone already interrupted me. Besides, it’s always better to meditate closer to nature. I know a perfect place. Do you have to work tonight?”

I shook my head.

“Trust me?”

“You ready to give me a reason to?”

“Did I mention the perfect place I had in mind was away from listening ears?” He flicked a glance at Andy and then added, “Far away.”

“All right,” I finally said, like I’d actually considered turning him down.

Jack smiled and held up both hands, walking backward. “Give me five minutes.”

14

Jack’s five minutes was more like two, and then he was whisking me through the bookstore door and we were out in the sunshine. He looped the handles of a bulky canvas bag around my wrist as we headed down the sidewalk. “Hold this for a second.”

He stripped out of his cardigan, giving me a peek at the brightly colored fish and lotus tattoos beneath the short sleeves of his T-shirt. “What’s inside the bag?” I asked.