Thankless in Death (In Death #37)(96)

It was those three words that got her. A good cop. For her that was the highest accolade, the most important tribute she could earn. She had to fight back the emotion that flooded through her—good cops didn’t choke up—as she stepped forward.

“Thank you, sir.”

“Not this time.” He pinned the medal on her, shook her hand. “Thank you, Lieutenant, for your exemplary service.”

He nearly did her in by stepping back, saluting.

She could take a minute, while the crowd stood and applauded, take a minute to pull herself together. And remember what she’d planned to say. Except she couldn’t remember a damn thing.

“Okay,” she managed, hoping that would settle everyone down, including herself. But they just kept going. She glanced toward Kyung for help. And he only gave her a smile, an elegant shrug.

“Okay,” she said again, and as she took another breath, spotted Nixie again.

The young girl stood on her chair so she could see, smiling now. Kevin, the boy she’d be raised with, stood on the chair beside her. Richard and Elizabeth flanked them.

And they were all a part of this, she thought. Richard and Elizabeth, who’d lost their daughter; Kevin, whose junkie mother had deserted him; Nixie, whose entire family had been slaughtered.

And Jamie in the back of the room, once a grieving and defiant kid determined to avenge his sister’s murder.

All of them, and so many more.

“Okay,” she said a third time. “Okay, thanks. I’m … honored and grateful to be awarded this distinction. I’m honored to be part of the NYPSD, and to work with so many good cops. To be commanded by one, to have been trained by one, to partner with one, to head a department with many really good cops. And to have the brain and the canniness, I guess, of a civilian who’d make a pretty good cop himself if he wasn’t so opposed to it.”

That got enough of a laugh to settle her down. “This distinction is theirs as much as mine. Probably more. You don’t close cases without someone having your back, or trusting the cop—or the civilian—going through the door with you.

“This is for all of us. And it’s for every victim we’ve stood for or will stand for, every survivor we work to find answers for. They’re what count. They’re why we’re here. That’s it.”

Thank God, she thought, even as she was angled for photos, as applause rang out. Thank God that was over.

They wanted more photos of her with Roarke, and despite her instinct to shake him off, he took her hand and held it. “Well said, Lieutenant.”

“I was supposed to say something else, but I forgot what it was.”

He laughed, squeezed her hand. “And I’m not permitted to kiss you, even after that?”

“Forget it.”

She got through more blah-blah with the mayor, more handshakes, a few more photos. Then Kyung, in his delicate way, extracted them. “I realize you have very little time, Lieutenant, but there are a couple of people who’d very much like a moment.”

He led her offstage, gestured to where Nixie waited.

“Hey, kid.”

“You look different wearing that.”

“I feel different wearing this. A little weird.”

“We’re coming to your house tomorrow, after the parade.”

“That’s what I hear.”

“There’ll be lots of kids. We saw Summerset, and he said.”

“Yeah.” Eve glanced over, saw Roarke embrace his aunt while a herd of kids—various ages—flocked around. “He’s right.”

“I’m supposed to talk to you mostly tomorrow when you’re not so busy, but …”

“Go ahead.”

That laser look came back, straight into Eve’s eyes. “You said it was for all of us. My mom and my dad and my brother, and my friend. And everyone.”

“That’s right.”

“Then can I touch it?”

“Sure.” Eve crouched down, watched Nixie’s face—serious blue eyes, soft cheeks, stubborn little mouth—as the girl handled the medal.

Then Nixie looked up. “It’s important.”

“It’s important.”

She smiled then, and that too-adult seriousness flicked away from her face. “I have a surprise for you.”

“What is it?”

Nixie rolled her eyes. “A surprise. You can see it tomorrow when we come for Thanksgiving. I’m going to say congratulations to Roarke, then we have to go. Are you looking for a bad guy now?”

“Yeah, I am.”

“Did he kill somebody?”

“Yeah, he did.”

“Then you have to catch him.”

Simple as that, Eve thought. And maybe, on some level, it was. “That’s the plan. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“And there’s our Eve.”

Sinead enfolded her in a hard, swaying hug. Soft skin, Eve thought, soft hair, strong arms. It was weird, this hard, loving embrace, Eve decided, like wearing the uniform was weird. Not bad, just different.

“Oh, it’s good to see you!” Hands on Eve’s shoulders, Sinead drew back, her green eyes damp, her smile brilliant. “And so stalwart you are in your uniform. We won’t be keeping you. Summerset told us you were very busy on an investigation, but we so wanted to come and see you and our Roarke honored. It meant so much to us, Eve. So much to all of us.”