Ten Tiny Breaths (Ten Tiny Breaths #1)(32)

“You’ll need to leave, sir,” Nate’s voice thunders. “No touching the ladies.”

My peripherals catch motion beneath me. Looking down, I find a bus boy sweeping up the shards of Trent’s empty glass. I guess it slipped out of my free hand.

“Is it okay?” Trent asks again earnestly, like he knows it might not be okay to touch my hand. Like that’s a perfectly acceptable fear to have. Like I’m not a head case.

Try as I might, I can’t open my mouth or move my tongue. I’m suddenly like a statue. Petrified.

“Kacey!”

Nate yanks Trent back and out the door and I do nothing but watch him go, that intense pleading gaze riveted to my face until it’s out of sight.

Everything seems wobbly as I wander back to the bar in a daze. The walls, the people, the dancers, my legs. I mumble an apology to Ginger for taking more than fifteen minutes. She waves it away with a smile as she pours someone a drink. With wooden movements, I turn back to see that a shapely native woman has taken center stage, doing some sort of rain dance reenactment in a scant feather costume. Storm is nowhere to be seen.

The world moves forward, oblivious to this significant shift in my tiny universe.

Stage Four ~ Acceptance

Chapter Seven

“So, what’d ya think?” Storm interrupts the silence in the car on the ride home.

I frown, not understanding her question. My mind’s still stuck on Trent, on the feel of his hand; on me, standing there like an idiot, not saying a thing. I’m so wound up over Trent and that pivotal moment that I’m for once not fazed by the confines of Storm’s Jeep. He held my hand. Trent held my hand and I didn’t drown.

I notice Storm’s small fists curled tightly around her steering wheel and she’s looking everywhere but at me. She’s nervous. “What do I think about what?” I ask slowly.

“About … my show?”

Oh! Right. “I don’t know how those boobs of yours don’t throw your balance off.”

Her head tips back and she laughs. “It took some getting used to, believe me.”

“Seriously, that was the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. What the hell are you doing in a strip club? You could be in Cirque du Soleil or some shit like that.”

I catch a hint of sadness in her giggle. “Not a lifestyle I can handle anymore. That means training all day and shows all night. I can’t do that with Mia to care for.”

“Why is this the first show I’ve seen?”

“I can’t do that every night. It’s hard enough to stay upright and get a bit of a work out in everyday.”

Huh. Storm works out. I had no idea. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

She shrugs. “We all have our secrets.”

My eyes drift out the window. “Well, that’s one hell of a way to reveal a secret.”

She chuckles, nodding in agreement. There’s a pause. “How was your little chat with Trent?”

“Oh, life altering.” His touch still lingers on my fingers and I can’t shake the pleading sound of his voice. Raw shame has settled on my shoulders. I should have answered him. Instead, I let Nate toss him out like a drunken ass.

I hate the feel of being in my skin right now.

We drive a few more minutes without talking. Then Storm breaks the silence with a full frontal assault. “Kace, what happened to you?” My jaw instantly clenches, unprepared, but she rushes on. “I still don’t know you at all. Given I’ve pretty much bared all. Literally. I was hoping you’d trust me to do the same.”

“You want me to spin around on a hoop and take my top off?” I joke, my voice flat. I know that’s not what she means.

“I asked Livie and she wouldn’t tell me. She said you needed to.” She says that in a low voice, like she knows she wasn't supposed to ask Livie in the first place.

My gut sinks to the floor. “Livie knows better than to tell anyone my secrets.”

“You need to start talking to someone, Kacey. That’s the only way to get better.”

“There’s no getting better, Storm. This is it.” There’s no coming back from the dead. I try to keep the coldness from my voice, but I can’t help it. It’s there.

“I’m your friend, Kacey. Whether you like it or not. I may have only known you for a few weeks, but I’ve trusted you. I’ve trusted your sister with my five year old, invited you into my home, and got you a job. Not to mention that you’ve folded my underwear and seen me naked.”

“All that without giving you my number. Oh, the guys at my gym would be so proud of me.”

We pull into the parking lot outside our apartment as my hand works fretfully over the door handle, the confines of Storm’s Jeep as it morphs into a confessional tin can overwhelming.

“What I’m trying to say is that I’m not an idiot. I don’t do that with everyone. But there’s something about you. I could see it from day one. It’s like you’re fighting against being yourself. Every time a little bit of the real you escapes, you shut it down. Cover it up.” Her voice is so soft and yet it makes me break out in a cold sweat.

The real me. Who is that? All I know is that since moving to Miami, my carefully crafted defenses have been attacked from all angles. Even Mia and her gapped tooth grins have managed to worm their way into the cracks in my armor. No matter how many times I tell myself I don’t care, I’m starting to find my heart beating a little bit faster and my shoulders lift a little bit higher when I make them laugh.