Tempted (House of Night #6)(55)

Then she smiled her sly smile again. Good answer, birdboy, 'cause that's the major thing I found inside your bird head. You definitely are your dad's kid. She let loose of him. Welcome to my team, and don't worry. Since your dad's not here right now, I don't think he'll care whether Stevie Rae's dead or alive when you catch her. And dead's easier, Kurtis said. Most definitely, Starr said. Nicole laughed, sounding so much like Neferet that the feathers at the nape of Rephaim's neck lifted in response. Father! Beware! His mind shrieked, The Tsi Sgili is more than what she seems!

Chapter Twenty-six

Heath, what are you doing in here? Heath clutched his chest like she'd shot him and staggered around, making mock gasping sounds. Your coldness is killing me, baby! You are a dork, she said. If anything's killing you, it's your absolute lack of good sense. So, what are you doing in here? I thought you'd be out there doing bird burning with Darius and Shaunee. Well, I was gonna, 'cause they can definitely use my superhuman strength to help them out.

He waggled his brows at her and flexed. Then he plopped onto the bench beside her. But Stark found me and said you needed me--so here I am. Stark was wrong. You should go back and help Darius. You look bad, Zo, he said, all kidding gone from his tone. I sighed. I've been through a bunch of stufflately, that's all--just like all of us have. Helping the hurt kids kicked your butt, he said. Well, yeah, it did. But I'll be okay. I just need to get today over with so I can get some sleep. That's all. Heath watched me for a little while without speaking, then he held his hand out to me. It was an automatic reflex for me to thread my fingers through his. Zo, I'm trying hard not to let it drive me crazy that you have some kind of special thing with Stark--something you don't have with me. It's a Warrior Bond. I can only have it with a vampyre.

I said the words apologetically, and I was sorry--sorry that I kept hurting this guy whom I'd loved since grade school. Yeah, I heard about that. Anyway, what I was sayin' is that I'm trying to deal with the Stark thing, but it makes it doubly hard for me when you push me away. I couldn't say anything because I knew exactly what he was really talking about. It was why Stark had sent him in here. Heath wanted me to drink from him. Just thinking about it made my mouth water and my breath come faster. I know you want to, he whispered. Unable to meet his eyes, I stared down at our joined hands. In the dim light of the deserted cafeteria the tattoos on my palms were almost invisible and our hands looked so ordinary--so much like they'd looked for so many years that it made my stomach hurt. You know I want you to. I met his gaze then.

I know you do. I just can't, Heath. I expected him to explode and get all pissed, but instead he deflated. His shoulders sagged and he shook his head. Why won't you let me help you in the one real way I can? I drew a deep breath and told him the complete truth. Because I can't deal with the sex part of it right now. He blinked in surprise at me. Is that the only reason? Sex is a kinda big reason, I said. Well, yeah, not that I'd know from experience, but still I get what you're saying. I felt my cheeks get warm. Heath was still a virgin? I'd thought for sure that after I was Marked and left my human life for the House of Night, my ex-BFF had totally gone after him. Actually, I knew skanky Kayla had gone after him. What about Kayla? I thought you two hooked up after I left . He gave a humorless little laugh. She wishes. Not no, but hell, no.

I wasn't with Kayla. There's only one girl for me. The humorlessness left his expression and he grinned at me. And even though you're a big-time High Priestess and so not technically just a girl' anymore, to me you're still my girl. Again, I didn't know what to say. I'd always thought when I had sex for the first time it would be with Heath, but then I'd messed up majorly and lost my virginity to Loren Blake, which was literally the biggest mistake of my life. It still made me feel sick and more than a little guilty. Hey, stop thinking about Blake. You can't change what happened with him, so let's forget it. Are you a mind reader now? I've always been able to get inside your head, Zo. His grin faded. Well, I guess I haven't been able to do that so good recently. I'm sorry about all of this, Heath. I hate that it hurts you. I'm not a kid anymore.

I knew what I was getting into when I got in my truck and drove to Tulsa to see you. It doesn't have to be easy between us, but it does have to be honest. Okay. I want to be honest, too. So I'm telling you the truth when I tell you that I can't let myself drink from you. I can't deal with what will happen between us because of it. I'm not ready to have sex, even if the whole world wasn't going to hell in a handbasket all around us. Hell in a handbasket--you sound like your grandma when you say that. Heath, changing the subject won't change my mind. I'm not having sex, so I'm not drinking from you. Jeesh, Zo, I'm not a moron; I get that, he said. So we don't have sex. We've spent a whole lot of years not having sex. We're experienced at it. There's more to it than just wanting each other. You know what the Imprint does to both of us. It was intense enough before when I was hurt so bad I was almost dead.

It would be that times ten if I drank from you now. Heath swallowed hard and ran his hand through his hair. Yeah, okay, I know that. But here's what I'm saying about it--the Imprint goes both ways, right? While you're drinking my blood you feel stuff I feel, and I feel stuff you feel. Yeah, and the stuff' is all about pleasure and sex, I said. Okay, so, instead of us focusing on the sex part, we'll focus on the pleasure part. I raised my brows at him. You're a guy, Heath. Since when do you not focus on the sex part? Instead of the kidding response I expected, his expression was absolutely serious. When have I ever pressured you about sex? There was that time in the tree house. You were in fourth grade. That doesn't count. Plus you knocked the crap out of me. He didn't exactly smile, but his brown eyes twinkled. How about the back of your truck last summer at the lake? You really can't count that, either. You had that new bikini on. And I didn't actually pressure you. You had your hands all over me. Well, there was a lot of you showing! He paused, lowering his voice to a normal level again. My point is, we've been together for a long time. We can definitely be together without having sex. Do I want to have sex with you? Hell, yes. Do I want to have sex with you when your head is all messed up from that Blake guy and you're worried as hell about everything that's going on, and you don't actually want to have sex with me? Hell, no! Hell, hell, no.