Take Me with You (Take Me #2)(76)

“Fuck.” His dad sighed heavily and then ran his hand down his face. “I never expected it to come to this. I should have told you on the phone why I wanted to see you in person. Christ, I should have told you as soon as I got out of jail. I should have told you even sooner than that.”

I could tell Grant hated himself right now for what had almost happened. He didn’t want to hear what his dad had to say. He never had.

“Tell him what?” I prodded.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for everything.” His dad fell to his knees before his son. “I wanted to tell you in person. I wanted to apologize for what had happened. That’s what I told Randy, but we never expected this. Grant, you have to know that I never meant to hurt her—your mother. I loved her so much…like you love Ari. And I shouldn’t have blamed you. You were just a kid, and I was supposed to be the parent. I was supposed to be the adult.”

Tears welled in his eyes, and I could hardly hold in my own at his admission.

Finally…finally, Grant turned his head and looked at his father. There was a mix of shock and revulsion and hope and pain on his face. He had never thought that he would ever hear these words.

“I know I did unspeakable things. I know that you have no reason to forgive me, and I don’t deserve your forgiveness. But all I want…all I’ve ever wanted, once I got help, is to make things right…to reach my son again. You’re all I have left.”

“I don’t know how I can believe the words coming out of your mouth,” Grant said harshly.

“I understand. And I know things aren’t going to make sense right away with us. We’ve been living different lives. We’re separated by thirteen years and blood on my hands. But I loved your mother with all my heart. I’ve been tormented by her death for just as long as you. I want us to be able to reconcile.”

Grant slowly stood from the ground and carefully helped me up next to him. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder, tightly holding me in place as if to make sure I was still there and safe. “I don’t want to reconcile anything with you. I don’t want a relationship with you. You were the one person in my entire life I have tried so hard not to become. So, you’re f*cking right. You don’t deserve my forgiveness.”

“Grant, please,” Mike said, standing and reaching out for him.

Grant took a step back, dragging me with him. “Don’t touch me. Don’t come near me. You came here to talk to me. I listened to what you had to say. That’s all you asked for, and frankly, it’s more than I should have been forced to put up with. Now, get the f*ck out of my house.”

Mike sighed. “You’re right. But I want us to know each other again…sometime…when you’re ready.” He nodded at us both. “Ari, I’m sorry you were brought into this. Please…take care of my son.”

I swallowed hard as he left the house, and I closed the door behind him, leaving us in stone-cold silence with a bullet hole in the wall, a disassembled gun on the ground, and my boyfriend’s heart in tatters.

Everything rushed to me at once.

I’d pulled a gun on my father.

I’d almost shot Ari.

My father had apologized.

I’d almost shot Ari.

No matter what else had happened in the span of the last half an hour, that reality seemed to hit me the hardest. I could have killed my girlfriend, the love of my f*cking life, just like my father had killed my mother.

I was a monster.

I was a f*cking monster.

As soon as the door closed behind my dad, I dropped painfully onto my knees and buried my head in my hands. A sob tried to rack my body, but I pushed it deep down inside of me. In a matter of minutes, my dad had cracked open the black hole where I’d stored thirteen years of depression, anger, pain, and endless and bottomless eternal grief.

I f*cking hated him. I hated everything he stood for. I hated that we were even related. I hated that he could come here and lie to my face. I hated that it still affected me.

My fist connected with the ground over and over again until I was spent, and my knuckles were throbbing. How could this have f*cking happened?

“Grant,” Ari whispered behind me.

Fuck! Fucking f*ck!

I jumped to my feet and pulled her trembling body into my arms. “I’m sorry. I’m so f*cking sorry. I never want to hurt you, not ever, Ari.”

“It’s okay, Grant. I’m fine. I’m not hurt.”

“It’s not f*cking okay. I should never have pulled that trigger.”

“I can agree with that.” Her hands came up to cup my face. “But are you okay?”

I couldn’t meet her eyes that were filled with love and concern. How could she even look at me like that? I could have killed her. I escaped her gaze by burying my face into her neck.

“I don’t deserve you, Princess.”

“Why don’t you let me be the judge of that?”

“I dragged you into this, into all of this. I’ve put your life at risk time and time again. I can’t keep f*cking putting you in harm’s way. And I clearly can’t protect you. I only make things f*cking worse.”

“You listen to me, Grant McDermott,” she said fiercely. She grabbed my chin in her hand and forced me to make eye contact with her. “You’ve never forced me to do anything. I love you. That doesn’t mean only when it’s easy or not complicated. It means all the time, no matter what. I’m standing right here, and I’m not leaving your side.”