Sweet Temptation (The Sweet Trilogy #4)(93)

“But . . .” Anna’s head slowly swivels to mine. His words replay in my ears and the only ones I hear are purity and marriage.

“No.” I stumble back. Those words are Anna, not me. They can never be me. “It won’t work.”

Belial is wrong. He’s desperate and he hasn’t thought this through. If I join myself with Anna, I will be one degree of separation from the Sword of Righteousness. It will sense me through her. It’s smart.

“I’m sorry, Duke Belial. I can’t marry.”

I cannot even believe he’d think this was viable. Does he not remember how he’d wanted to keep me away from her? His reasons, the acts of my past, still live inside me. I can’t let this mistake happen.

“Don’t be stupid, Kai,” Ginger says. “There’s no time for this. If it can save you both, you need to do it.”

No. They’re all watching me like I’m being unreasonable, but they don’t get it. I’m too ashamed to even look at Anna, but surely she’ll understand. The stakes are too high to take this sort of chance.

“Duke Astaroth will be able to see the bond of marriage,” I remind them.

“Well, he’ll see the bond of love between you, which is just as bad,” Gin says.

Has the entire world gone mad? A million pounds of pressure are suddenly stacked on my shoulders and I turn, shoving my hands into my hair, struggling to breathe.

Marrying Anna . . . being with her in all the ways we so desperately want . . .

Blake steps closer. “Dude, come on—”

“Don’t pressure him,” Anna says, hurt in her voice. “If he doesn’t want to do it, he shouldn’t have to.”

What? She’s got it all wrong.

“Anna . . .”

“It’s okay,” she says. “It was a bad idea.”

Does she understand, then? Or is she being passive-aggressive? Am I the only one who sees the danger here?

“It’s not a bad idea,” Marna pipes in. “Really, Kai. Why the hell not?”

I don’t want to argue with her. “Marna—”

“That’s pants!” she shouts. “What’s the problem?”

I turn to face her. “She can’t tie herself to a bloke like me and expect to come out of it white as snow. It won’t work!”

Marna’s eyes soften as if she’s finally getting it. But then she says, “She loves you. And you love her. You’re not going to soil her soul, babe.”

What if I do? “My past has to be taken into account.”

“Your past is in the past,” Anna says. “And it’s not going to . . . rub off on me or something. You know it doesn’t work like that.”

Do I? Because I’ve always had the Midas touch, only the things I touch don’t turn to gold. They turn to ruin and brokenness and depression. It’s one thing to dream of being with Anna, but to actually take that chance is too much. I feel the eyes of the room on me and realize I’m alone in my way of thinking.

In the next moment, Belial is in my face, his horned head large and fierce.

“Don’t play games with me, boy. Do you love her or not?” he hisses.

One glance at the others in the room and their wonder makes it clear I’m the only one hearing this conversation.

“Yes, I love her.” I press this thought at him silently.

“Then what is your fear?”

I swallow. “That once she’s been with me, she’ll not be able to use the sword. Because of who I am, because of what I’ve done.”

“You have to let go of that fear. Let go of your past, and focus on your love. You are changed, and it’s time to embrace your future. You’re not that same self-serving boy I drove away from my daughter. Marry her and buy yourselves time to fulfill this prophecy. Otherwise Pharzuph will find her and learn the truth. This is what will keep her safe. Do you understand?”

He sounds so certain, but it feels impossible. A wedding? Anna deserves the whole nine yards, but that can’t happen.

“With all respect, Duke Belial, we don’t have time for a wedding.”

“Leave the details to me.”

“But—”

“If you love her,” his voice rumbles in my ear, “you will marry her. End of discussion.”

Everyone’s eyes are still on me, suffocating me. “I need some time to myself,” I mutter. I need air.

I turn and make a beeline for the back door, flinging it open and letting the sea breeze blast me with its warmth. I stand on the edge of Blake’s deck, staring out at the magnitude of the Pacific Ocean, and allow myself to feel small.

Marry Anna.

Perhaps that is what Belial had in mind all along. For someone, hopefully Kope, to secretly marry Anna and keep her safe from my father. But Anna and Kope didn’t fall in love, did they? No, it was me.

All my life I’ve been selfish. I don’t trust the instinct inside me, shouting, Yes, make her yours and finally be with her! What if I only want this for selfish reasons? I press my thumbs into my eyes and think of Anna up there on the stage at the summit in New York so long ago. I remember the fear when I was so certain Duke Rahab would kill her. My only thought was that my knife would be through his head before his finger could reach the trigger.