Sweet Seduction (Sweet #3)(76)

"Damon says I should give you a chance."

"No, you should give us a chance. And you damn sure shouldn't need someone else to tell you that."

She acknowledged the truth of his words but fell silent for the remainder of the drive. She had to gear up to say just the right thing or face losing the one thing she most wanted.

Several long minutes later, Nathan pulled back into her apartment complex and they both got out and walked to her door. His anger seemed to have faded, and in its place a wary unease shadowed his face.

They walked into the living room, and Julie stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to do or say next. Nathan saved her from making the decision by pulling her over to the couch. He sat down and then tugged her down so that she straddled his lap, facing him.

His hands rested on her hips, possessively. He eyed her intently, letting her know with no words that this time she wasn't escaping.

The chase was over. For her. For him. They'd danced around each other for far too long. Done some silly stuff, made goofy decisions. And she'd tried to sabotage anything good between them before it ever got started because she didn't want it to hurt so damn bad when he left.

She framed his face in her hands. Her fingers trembled against his cheeks, and try as she might, she couldn't prevent the shaking from invading the rest of her body.

"I love you," she choked out.

'Thank God," he murmured, closing his eyes.

He nuzzled into one of her hands, kissing the palm.

"I thought I was going to have to handcuff you to that damn bed until you admitted you felt something for me beyond simple lust."

She nodded, the knot in her throat too large to say anything more.

"Why did you run, honey?" he asked softly. "What scared you so bad?"

"I don't want you to leave me."

A tear slipped down her cheek, and he raised his hand to gently wipe it away with his thumb.

"Why the hell would you think a harebrained thing like that? I've got to catch you before I can even think about leaving you. And honey, leaving you is the furthest thing from my mind. I know we can't predict the future, bur right now? You're mine. All of it. I don't have a future without you. You're going to be in if it kills me, and I'm beginning to think it just might!"

"I'm an artist at self-sabotage," she croaked out. "My relationships . . . well, let's just say I don't have the best track record with relationships. At first, it wasn't my fault. I mean, I went into them hoping for the best. The first couple of guys were drawn to my personality. They liked that I was brassy and outgoing and that I was uninhibited in bed. Soon, though, I grated on their nerves and they moved on, deciding that I wasn't what they wanted after all. I intimidated them."

Nathan scowled but let her continue.

"Then there was the guy who thought I could stand to lose a few pounds. Okay, a lot of pounds."

"What the hell? I'll kick his f**king ass. You don't need to lose a damn thing. My God, woman, you're perfect."

He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his chest. He ran his hands over her ass, up to her waist and then back down again as if he couldn't get enough of touching her.

"I'm ashamed to say that I took it to heart. I lost thirty pounds but quickly figured out it wasn't me. I didn't like myself and I wasn't happy. Then I got angry because I allowed the moron to dictate my life. In essence, to control my self-esteem. So I gained the weight back, bought a flashy convertible, started wearing sexy clothes again and said f**k you to any guy who didn't like it."

" 'Atta girl," he said approvingly.

"After that I was wary, I guess. I tended to come on too strong just to let the guy know what he was getting up front, and if he was still interested, I kept the relationships short and sweet. I figured if I was the one doing the ending, it wouldn't hurt so much. I'd never know if they lost interest or not because I was calling the shots."

His eyes softened, and he traced the line of her cheekbone with his finger.

"And then you walked into my salon." She sighed and shifted on his lap. "You walked in with Faith, and I don't know. It felt like a ton of bricks was dropped on me."

"Tell me about it," Nathan said. "You rocked my world, woman."

She smiled. "I wanted you, did everything I could think of to get your attention, and you were so oblivious."

He grimaced. "I was anything but. I just had no idea how to act around you. Every time I got close, my tongue knotted up and I felt like some horny teenager again."

"I was so furious with you," she continued. "I finally decided to hell with you. I'd make you notice me come hell or high water, and then I'd turn you loose. I set up my threesome fantasy with Damon, and, well, you know the rest."

"Yeah, I do," he said softly. "I fell in love with a tenacious, bullheaded, tenderhearted dynamo of a woman. I spent months being in such awe over you that I damn near screwed up any chance I had with you."

She swallowed and her shaking grew worse.

"Honey, listen to me. I love every single thing about you. I love your brass and your sass. I love that you don't need me, but you want me. I think the men in your past were brainless pigs, but you know what? I'm glad they were because they saved you for me. And I swear to God, if you ever get any harebrained notion to lose weight again, I'll kick that ass of yours all over Houston. You are . . . delectable. And you're mine. And I love you just the way you are."