Sweet Dreams (Colorado Mountain #2)(197)

His eyes caught mine and he announced, “I’m over it.”

My head tipped to the side. “Sorry?”

“I’m over it,” he repeated.

“But –”

“This sucks, all of it. But I was way over her when I started it with you. I don’t like Pop, Stell, Wood and definitely Jonas bein’ on their path but, Ace, I ain’t suffering.”

“But earlier –”

“Today was shit, babe, and I can’t say it doesn’t hit me, that ugly end to her livin’ an ugly life but, outside of keepin’ an eye on Jonas and my Mom actin’ whacked, today, mostly I was struggling with the fact that I’m not suffering.”

One of my hands slid up to curl around his neck and I whispered, “But Tate, you… with me… we –”

“Life hands you lessons, Ace, this one taught me to enjoy what I got. My Dad died and I didn’t learn shit from that at the time, didn’t learn until it was almost too late. This time, Neet dyin’, ‘specially like that, I learned quick.” His hand slid up my spine and into my hair. “I’m happy, Laurie. This is good, what we got, and I’m gonna f**kin’ enjoy it.”

“So you don’t want me close, um… sex close to be, uh… super close to prove to yourself that I’m here and I’m okay?”

His brows knitted while I spoke and when I was done he asked, “Sex close?

“We’re having a lot of sex, Captain.”

“We have a lot of sex all the time, Ace.”

“You said, the day she died, you needed me and you wanted me close,” I reminded him.

“It was fresh then,” he told me.

I tipped my head to the side. “So you’re okay now?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re not, um… dealing with death in a macho man, badass, alpha male kind of way?”

He pressed his lips together, his expression softening and then he said, “No.”

“You’re sure?” I pushed.

“Ace, I’m okay.”

“Yeah?”

He tipped his chin up and then he rolled me to my back, getting on top and he shoved his face in my neck.

That’s when I heard him laughing.

“Tate?”

“Give me a sec, Laurie,” he rumbled into my neck, still laughing.

I lay under him for awhile, hearing and feeling his laughter, then I muttered, “I can’t believe you’re laughing.”

His head came up, his mouth still curved into a smile, he looked at me and said, “Dealing with death in a macho man, badass, alpha male kind of way?”

“Well I don’t know!” I snapped. “I was worried!”

His head dipped, his nose sliding along mine and he whispered, “Yeah.” Then he pulled back and looked at me. “You good?”

“I guess so,” I answered snippily.

“Can I f**k you now or you wanna process somethin’ else?” he teased.

“I suppose we can have sex but, I’ll warn you, I like these panties so don’t tear them or anything in your quest to f**k me while wearing them.”

“I tear ‘em, I’ll buy you new ones,” he said, his mouth coming toward mine.

“Tate –” I started when his lips hit mine.

“Shut it, Laurie,” he growled.

“Oh all right,” I mumbled but I didn’t shut it since he kissed me, with tongue, so I couldn’t.

Then he f**ked me and Tate could do just about anything for me, but he couldn’t figure out how to f**k me wearing the panties.

But he did manage to do it without tearing them when he whipped them off.

Chapter Twenty-Six

Birthday

After my shift at the bar, I went to the office, opened it with my new key, stepped inside, turned on the light, walked to the couch and sat down. Then I pulled my cell phone out of my jeans.

I scrolled down my contacts, hit the button, put the phone to my ear and listened to it ring.

“Derriford,” I heard my college boyfriend answer.

“Hey Matt,” I said softly.

“Laurie?” Matt asked.

“Yeah,” I answered.

“Shit, Laurie, been callin’ all day. Your number was disconnected, your cell, at home and they said you quit work over a year ago. I’ve been f**kin’ worried sick. What’s up?”

“I’ve got a new phone,” I told him, “moved from Phoenix, living in Colorado now.”

“Brad moved you guys from Phoenix?” His voice was incredulous, he knew Brad liked his golf. “What? He get a better job?”

I had not shared anything with Matt during our birthday calls, not on my last birthday, when I was in the throes of a post-divorce wander, his birthday or the ones the year before when I knew in my soul it was going bad. My calls with Matt on our birthdays were about laughing and reminiscing about good times, not getting into anything heavy.

That day was my birthday and the time had come to tell him.

So I did. I told him everything.

When I was done, he was silent.

“Matt?” I called.

“I’m here,” he said quietly.

I misread his quiet mood. “I’m okay, honey. I’m… well,” I smiled to myself, “I’m really good.”