Summer of Frost (Forever Fae #3)(59)
“Oh,” I replied half-heartedly, looking away.
She squeezed my hand and smiled. “I wanted to ask you if there’s a place you’d like me to take you, and to also get you to take that look of disappointment off your face.” When I opened my mouth to speak, she cut me off. “There’s no need to explain, I understand. This is a big deal for you, but you need to stop doubting me. I’ll get him here. Tell me … do you two have a special place, a place where you and Merrick share happy memories?”
Nodding, I bit my lip to distract myself from the tears that threatened to spill at any moment. “Yes,” I answered softly. “There’s a field we played in as children. It’s also the place where he secretly trained me, and where his ashes are scattered.”
“I would say that is a special place, indeed.” Sorcha approached me and placed her hands on both sides of my head. “Okay, here’s what I want you to do. I want you to close your eyes and picture this field in your mind; the smells, the air, the wind as it blows through the trees. I want you to be there, body and soul, and hold onto it.”
Closing my eyes, I did as she said. The field came easily to my mind, as did the memories of my time there with Merrick. The air was thick and humid, hot from the Summer sun, but the smells were what reminded me of my old home. The smell of honeysuckle and fresh green grass filled my senses, bringing a smile to my face. I could feel it all around me.
Sorcha sighed and let go of my head. “Open your eyes, Calista. It’s beautiful.”
The moment my eyes opened I couldn’t hold the tears back any longer. “This is it,” I breathed. “Now what do we do?”
Smiling, Sorcha slowly began to walk away. Her lower lip quivered when she spoke, “Right now I’m going to leave you, Calista.”
Confused, I started toward her, not understanding why she was leaving me. Could she not bring Merrick? The sound of someone calling my name behind me rooted me to the ground.
“Cali?”
My heart stopped beating, and my breath came out as rapid pants, making me feel lightheaded. “I imagined his voice,” I whispered to myself. “Yes, it was just my imagination.”
“Well, I see you’re still as stubborn as ever. I guess nothing’s changed in the last five years.” When I didn’t turn around, he huffed out an exasperated breath. His voice, his humorous tone, was just like Merrick. “If you don’t turn I’m going to make you, and you know how I loved throwing you around so you could kick my ass.”
It was him!
Turning around quickly, I frantically raked my eyes over my guardian standing before me. “Please tell me this is real,” I choked out, sobbing.
Merrick opened his arms and laughed. “Get your ass over here, Cali!”
Not wasting a second, I ran and flung myself into his arms, crying the whole way. “Merrick, I’ve missed you so much! There are so many things that have happened over the years, and I’d give anything to have you there with me.”
As I held him, I breathed him in deeply, remembering how it used to give me comfort growing up. He was my best friend and he was always there, taking care of me.
“I know,” he whispered, releasing his hold so he could look at my face. “I’ve missed you, too. I’ve been watching over you this whole time. It appears even in death we’re still connected.”
His brown eyes were still the same—all warm and loving—and his hair was still the same bright blond that slightly curled around the edges of his face. He hadn’t changed a bit. Lifting my hands, I traced the planes of his face, and ran them through his golden locks like I used to do when we were together.
“So you know everything?” I asked softly.
“Yes, Cali, I know everything. I was there when the land crowned you Fall Queen, and I was here in this field when you came to talk to me, even though you thought I wasn’t there. I was there when Sorcha told you she could bring me here, so needless to say, I was expecting you.”
The tears streamed down my face, and he gently wiped them away with the pad of his thumbs. Taking my chin in his hand, he lifted up my face and smiled down at me. “Out of everything I’ve seen you accomplish and do to make our land better, nothing will ever compare to the day you gave birth to your son. The way your face looked and the smile you gave him when you named him after me. That has stayed with me and given me joy.”
“I never knew you were there with me,” I confessed sheepishly.
“Yes, you did. You just didn’t realize I was actually there. You said it yourself, you could feel me inside your heart. Now think back to every time you had to clutch your chest from your heart fluttering out of control. How many times did it feel so full of love that you thought it would burst? That was me, Calista. That was you feeling my happiness and love.”
I was so scared to ask him my next question, but I had to know. “Merrick,” I began. “Are you happy in the Hereafter?”
He laughed, and the familiar rumble in his chest made my heart feel lighter. “Of course, I’m happy. Yes, I miss you, and I would give anything to be there with you and meet your son, but I’m where I’m supposed to be.”
“Will you always be with me? Are you always going to be there even though I can’t see you?”
“For the most part, yes, but mainly in the times you really need me or wish me there. I can feel the tug on my soul when you need me, and it pulls me to you. I’ve seen you sad so many times, and I prayed that you’d be able to hear me just once so I could beat some sense into you.”