Summer Days (Fool's Gold #7)(92)

“Apparently,” Heidi murmured.

May laughed, then returned her attention to the map. “Here’s where my animals will go. Here’s where Shane is buying adjoining land for his horses. Glen and I will build a small house here, because I think we’re going to be one of those annoying, cheerful couples, and who needs to see that first thing in the morning?”

She looked at Heidi. “Which means this house is yours, my dear. Along with the rest of the ranch. Plenty of room for your goats. I do hope you’ll let me use the barn. I’ve heard the cold can be challenging for zebras. Obviously, we’ll have to build a special enclosure for sweet Priscilla.”

Heidi sat in her chair, too hopeful to even draw breath. To have what had been hers returned was unbelievable, but to have it come from Rafe? She desperately wanted to think it was because he cared, but she couldn’t be sure.

“Glen and I are planning a series of cruises starting in the fall,” May continued. “Through Europe, mostly. Did you know your grandfather is the most divine dancer? I can’t wait to get him out on the dance floor. We’ll cha-cha the night away. We’ll miss most of the construction on our new place, but I’m hoping that, until it’s done, you’ll let us stay here when we’re in town.”

“Ah, sure.” Her head spun, and she couldn’t read the words on the contract she held. Everything blurred. “May, why are you doing this? You could have had it all.”

“I never wanted it all, Heidi. I wanted a home. Coming back here has been wonderful. I’ve found so much more than I had ever hoped. As for giving you his half of the ranch, that was Rafe’s idea.”

Rafe, who had never been what he seemed, she realized. Underneath that exterior of cool confidence, lay a warm and giving heart.

“Is he back in San Francisco?” she asked.

“Yes. I’m not sure when he plans to return, though.”

May’s tone was concerned, as if she were worried about Heidi being upset by the news.

“Can you tell me where his office is?” she asked.

“Yes. Of course. You’re going to see him?”

Heidi nodded.

Like May, she’d been given her heart’s desire. Fear and the need to protect herself had nearly robbed her of the perfect ending. But everything was clear now.

She and Rafe were so much alike. They both took care of the people around them. They urged others to do better, to achieve. But under all the words was fear. Fear of losing. Fear of being rejected. Fear of being hurt.

She’d lost her parents when she was a toddler, and although Glen had loved her, she’d felt a gaping emptiness. She’d been afraid to love and lose again. Not consciously, but underneath. Then Melinda had taken her own life, cementing Heidi’s belief that loving meant losing in the most destructive way.

Rafe, too, had seen the consequences of love and loss. His father hadn’t just died—his passing had ripped away Rafe’s childhood. He’d grown up too quickly, and parts of him had never healed.

When his first marriage had failed, he’d had his fears confirmed. The dissolution was worse, because he didn’t feel devastated. Not realizing he’d deliberately avoided love, he took the absence of pain as proof love didn’t exist.

They probably all needed years of therapy. Maybe they could get a group rate somewhere. But until then, they had each other. Because she knew what had gone wrong. Neither of them had been willing to risk it all. Neither of them had put their hearts on the line, exposing their souls. Neither had taken the chance.

“I’m going right now,” Heidi said. “Just as soon as I find one thing I’ll need to take with me.”

* * *

HEIDI DIDN’T LIKE CITY DRIVING in the best of times, and making her way through the downtown part of San Francisco turned into a disaster. She got lost three times before finally spotting the building that housed Rafe’s office. She parked in an underground lot that had what felt like six hundred levels. She expected to have to pick her way over molten rivers from the earth’s core when she finally climbed out of her truck.

She consoled herself with the hope that she would never have to come here again—at least not by herself. If things went well, then next time Rafe would be with her. If they went badly, she was going to let Athena loose in his lobby.

Comforted by her plan, she took the elevator up a dizzying forty-something floors and was deposited in an elegant lobby with stunning views of the bay.

The receptionist glanced at the pin on her blazer. Finding a Team Rafe button had been a challenge, but May had finally located one of only a half dozen made, and Heidi had collected it before leaving town.

“I’m here to see Rafe Stryker,” Heidi told the well-dressed woman at the reception desk.

“Do you have an appointment?”

“No.”

“Mr. Stryker requires all visitors to have an appointment.”

“Why am I not surprised?” she muttered. “Please tell him Heidi Simpson would like to see him.”

A stern-looking woman in a black suit paused by the reception desk. She turned to Heidi.

“You are Ms. Simpson of Fool’s Gold?” she asked.

Heidi felt as if she’d been called before the principal for mooning the school board. “Um, yes?”

The gray-haired woman actually flashed a smile. “I’ll take care of this, Charlotte.”