Summer Days (Fool's Gold #7)(33)

It had been three days since he’d kissed her. Three days of her carefully avoiding him, and his mother watching, as if aware there was a problem. He hadn’t mentioned the kiss to May, and he would bet money Heidi hadn’t said anything to her grandfather, either. But still, May had guessed something had happened. He made it a point to avoid talking about his personal life with his mother, so he had a problem. The only way he could see to fix it was to get things back to normal with Heidi.

He walked down the stairs, through the living room and kitchen, and out back. Heidi was already in the goat house. As he crossed the yard, he saw three cats scampering in front of him. They slipped through the partially open door, and he followed.

Heidi was already milking Athena when he arrived. The three cats were sitting, watching her.

“When did you get cats?” he asked.

Heidi didn’t look up from the rhythmic movements of her hands. Milk flowed steadily into the gleaming metal bucket.

“They’re not mine. They show up when I milk. I don’t know how they know.”

He studied her movements, wondering if he could master the art of goat milking. Not a lot of call for that skill in his world.

“Can I help?”

She snorted. “I don’t think so.”

He counted the goats obviously waiting for their turns. There were only six. “You’re not milking all of them?”

“Two are pregnant. No milking then.”

“How often do they get pregnant?”

“Generally once a year.”

He knew this meant there was a fair amount of nonmilking time with each goat. “That cuts into your cheese making.”

“I know. I need to expand the herd a little more, but not so much that it’s unmanageable.”

He wanted to ask if she’d thought about their conversation, the advice he’d given her. He might not know much about goats, but he did know business, and the principles of selling were universal.

“Will you keep any of the kids?” he asked.

“Probably not. I’d rather expand the bloodline. I know a few breeders. I might be able to work a trade.”

She finished with Athena. The goat stepped away. The next took her place. Heidi carefully washed the udders before starting to milk again.

“If you still have the name of that guy, I’m willing to sell the steers,” she said, concentrating on her work.

“I’ll call him. He was available to come by this week.”

“Good.”

Heidi worked efficiently, neither of them speaking. What had happened before—the kiss—hung between them.

He wasn’t sure why he’d done it. He wanted to say it was because she’d been there and he hadn’t had anything better to do. But he knew that was a lie. He’d wanted to kiss Heidi. He’d wanted to know what she felt like in his arms. He’d wanted to touch her and taste her. Now that he’d kissed her, he wanted more. Which was why he’d called Nina back and confirmed his date. Because Heidi wasn’t part of his plan, and he doubted she was the type to have sex because it felt good. She would want more, and he’d given up on more a long time ago.

“About the other night…” he began.

Her hands slowed, then picked up speed.

“I didn’t mean to make things awkward between us.”

“Too bad,” she said, still not looking at him. “Because if that had been your goal, you could be happy now.”

“You’re pissed.”

“No. I’m confused. Tell me about Nina, the matchmaker. Did you really hire someone to find you a wife? Do you know what century we’re living in?”

“I hire the best. She’s the best.”

She turned to him. “You can’t get your own girl?”

“I tried that once. It didn’t work.”

She returned her attention to the milking, finishing with the second goat. The third took her place.

“I was married before,” he admitted. “We were young and in love and we got married. I thought everything was fine. Then one day, she said she didn’t love me anymore, and left. I kept waiting to feel devastated or humiliated. All I felt was relief that we hadn’t had kids. So that was the end, and I was left thinking there should be more to it. But I guess there isn’t.”

Love was an illusion—an excuse for people to get into relationships. Something he didn’t need.

“So why get married again?”

“I want kids. I’m traditional enough to believe that, in a perfect world, there are two parents.”

“Let me guess,” she said. “You want Nina to find you the right sort of woman. Educated, probably with a career, but not one that takes up too much of her time. You’re willing to let her work, but you’d prefer it if she would stay home with the kids. Smart, but not too smart. Pretty, but you’re not interested in beautiful. She should be entertaining and talk about current events. Someone who won’t stray. You plan on being faithful, but you don’t expect her to touch your heart. You’re saving what’s left of it for your children. Oh, you’ll settle for two, but you’d really like three. And a dog.”

Rafe stayed where he was, which took a whole lot more effort than it should have. He felt as if she had cut him open and laid him bare for everyone to see. She’d managed to reduce the sum of him and his wants to a mockable list. How had she guessed? He’d always been told he was tough to read. Was he showing his cards, or did she have some kind of insight? Even his mother hadn’t been able to guess all of that.