Suddenly You(30)

“Why not?” Jack asked darkly.

“Oh, come, now. I was not about to insult Miss Briars by sending over some lack-brains to divest her of her virginity. So as I was pondering the situation, and wondering how to locate the appropriate man for her, you arrived.” She shrugged gracefully, more than pleased with herself. “It was no trouble at all to arrange things. I decided to send you, and since I’ve received no complaint from Miss Briars, I assume that you performed to her satisfaction.”

Perhaps it had been the novelty of the situation, or his compulsive fascination with Amanda Briars, but for some reason, Jack had not considered until now that he owed Gemma Bradshaw his gratitude. She could easily have sent some arrogant pup who would not have appreciated Amanda’s quality and beauty, and would have taken her innocence with no more thought than he would have picked an apple from a tree. The idea of that, and his reaction to it, were no less than alarming.

“You might have told me of your plans,” he growled, both furious and relieved. Good God, what if some other man had unexpectedly arrived at Amanda’s house that evening, instead of himself?

“I couldn’t take the chance that you might refuse. And I knew that once you met Miss Briars, you would not be able to resist.”

Jack was not about to give her the satisfaction of admitting that she had been absolutely correct. “Gemma, what gave you the idea that thirty-year-old spinsters are to my taste?”

“Why, the two of you are exactly alike,” she exclaimed. “Anyone could see it.”

Mildly startled, he felt his brows tugging upward toward his hairline. “Alike in what way?”

“To begin with, the way you both seem to regard your hearts as if they are clock mechanisms that need repair.” She snorted in amusement, and continued in a softer vein. “Amanda Briars needs someone to love her, and yet she thinks her problem is easily solved by paying for a single night with a male prostitute. And you, dear Jack, have always done your utmost to avoid getting the thing you need most—a companion. Instead, you are wedded to your business, which must be cold comfort when you’re in your empty bed at night.”

“I have all the damned companionship I need, Gemma. I’m hardly a monk.”

“I’m not referring to mere sexual intercourse, you obtuse man. Don’t you ever wish for a partner, someone you could trust and confide in…even love?”

Jack was annoyed to realize that he had no answer. Acquaintances, friends, even lovers, he had seemingly unlimited supplies of these. But he had never found a woman who was capable of satisfying his physical and emotional needs—and the blame rested on himself rather than on any lady in particular. There was something lacking in him, an inability to give of himself in anything but the most superficial ways.

“Miss Amanda Briars is hardly the ideal partner for a selfish bastard like me,” he said.

“Oh?” She smiled provocatively. “Why don’t you give it a try? You may be surprised by the results.”

“I never thought you would try to play matchmaker, Gemma.”

“Every now and again I like to experiment,” she replied lightly. “I shall view this one with great interest to see if it takes.”

“It won’t,” he assured her. “And if it did, I’d go hang before I let you know about it.”

“Darling,” she purred, “would you be so cruel as to deprive me of a little enjoyment when my intentions are so good? Now, do tell me what happened between the two of you that evening. I’ve nearly expired of curiosity.”

He kept his face completely expressionless. “Nothing happened.”

She let out a peal of delicious laughter. “You should be more clever, Jack. I might have believed you, had you claimed there had merely been a bit of flirtation or even an argument…but it is clearly impossible that nothing happened.”

Jack was not in the habit of confiding his true feelings to anyone. Long ago, he had learned the art of chatting easily without revealing anything. It had always seemed to him that there was no point in sharing secrets when most people were so damned unable to keep them.

Amanda Briars was a beautiful woman masquerading as a plain one…she was funny, intelligent, brave, practical, and, most of all, interesting. What troubled him was that he didn’t know what he wanted from her. In his world women had clear uses. Some were intellectual companions, some were entertaining lovers, some were business associates, and most were either so dull or so clearly meant for matrimony as to be avoided altogether. Amanda fit into no precise category.

“I kissed her,” Jack said abruptly. “Her hands smelled like lemons. I felt…” Finding no words to explain what had suddenly become inexplicable, he fell silent. To his dawning surprise, that quiet evening at Amanda Briars’s home had assumed the form of an upheaval in his mind.

“That’s all you’re going to say?” Gemma complained, clearly annoyed by his silence. “Well, if that is the extent of your descriptive powers, it’s no wonder that you’ve never written a novel.”

“I want her, Gemma,” he said softly. “But that’s not a good thing, for her or for me.” He paused with a grim smile. “If we had an affair, it would end badly on both sides. She would come to want things I can’t give her.”

“And how do you know that?” Gemma mocked gently.