Sudden Response (EMS #1)(52)

"You're avoiding being with her because of your past?" Nathan asked, looking at a loss for words when Eric nodded firmly. Nathan shook his head in disbelief. "You really are a f**king idiot."

Chapter 23

That bastard, Joe thought as she forced herself not to check her phone. She refused to be that woman. There was no way in hell that she was going to wait around for a text message or a phone call from a guy, even if that guy was Eric.

He'd made it more than clear that he had no intentions of calling her this weekend so she wasn't going to worry. She was going to force herself to stay awake during the mind numbingly boring slide show presentation. Then she was going to her hotel room, changing, hitting a bar and getting a drink and having some fun. Then tomorrow and the next day she would come back to this beige classroom that smelled like alcohol wipes and doing this all over again.

She really wished Eric was here. Normally they took all of their refresher courses and continuing education courses, the requirements that OEMS required every EMT to do to keep their EMT ticket active, together. He would keep her entertained while they sat through things like this, but he wasn't here and wouldn't be here tomorrow or the next day.

There was no doubt in her mind that she'd be doing a lot more things in the future without him. He didn't want to be with her and after what they did last night she had no doubt that he was going to start pulling away more and more. She idly wondered while she stared blankly at the graphs blown up on the screen if his reasons for not pursuing this were the same as hers.

He wasn't the best boyfriend and he had to know that by now. He wouldn't want to hurt her. She knew he loved her, but he didn't realize that he was hurting her by doing this. There really was no point in lying and saying that she wasn't afraid that he was going to end up hurting her, but after last night she was willing to take that chance.

Eric wasn't.

She wanted him, but she wasn't going to beg him. He needed to want to give them a chance. If he wasn't.........

Well, he might just get his wish after all. She knew herself well enough to know that it would become hard enough working with him day in and day out, but that didn't mean she wanted to watch as other women threw themselves at him, or worse when he started dating them. When it became too much she'd either switch out to a different station or work in dispatch full time where she wouldn't have to see him.

Of course she'd still see him at family gatherings and that was fine with her. She wasn't willing to give up Nathan or Alive for anything. They were her family and she loved them. For them she'd pretend she was happy when he was around. She'd do the same for him. She'd never stop loving him, but if it made his life easier then she'd move on.

Oh, he still had an ass kicking coming and she fully planned on giving it to him, but she knew she wouldn't be able to stay mad at him even for breaking her heart. He'd move on and so would she.

"If you want the results of your test you can call the office Tuesday," Brian, the instructor from hell, said, catching her attention.

It was over? Finally, she thought as she got to her feet and grabbed the notebook she'd filled up with doodles. That reminded her that she'd have to swing by a store and pick up two more if she had any hopes of staying mildly entertained during the next two days. Of course if Eric was here she'd just draw on his arm to keep herself entertained, but he wasn't so she'd just have to learn to deal.

She headed for the door and quickened her pace when she spotted Alex, a brand spanking new EMT that decided to take the class, following her. Normally she was patient with new EMTs, well she tried to be anyway, and she understood it was an exciting job and that some of them got a little wrapped up in it, but she really didn't think she could take another minute with him.

During her breaks when she just wanted to relax and enjoy the fresh air he'd talked and wouldn't stop talking until Brian announced that the break was over. She could have probably handled a chatter box, but this guy decided that he had to share every single detail of every single call he'd ever been on. He'd been an EMT for all of six months and was sure that he'd seen it all.

She had to laugh at that. She'd been on the job for twelve years and knew damn well that she hadn't seen everything. No two days were alike and that's what she loved about the job. She could probably do this job for a hundred years and still see new things that surprised and shocked her. Alex didn't see it that way. He told her that he was already growing bored with the job and was looking into becoming a paramedic or a fireman.

When she made the mistake of encouraging him, mostly to end the conversation, he listed all the reasons why he should be a fireman. Her only escape had been the woman's room, but it was a short lived escape. He waited for her outside the restroom and jumped right back into his little spiel as though he'd never stopped. He did the same thing during their lunch break, making it impossible for her to get a bite to eat.

Now she was hungry, cranky and in no mood for another minute of listening to another "Whacker" story. She just wanted to go to her hotel room, shower, change and go out for the night. Of course with her luck she'd run into him wherever she went.

When he called her name she pretended that she didn't hear him and jumped into her car. Thank god she'd come straight here otherwise she would have had to walk the quarter mile back to the hotel room and he'd catch up with her. She really hoped he wasn't staying at the same hotel that she was.