Strings of the Heart (Runaway Train #3)(63)
“Well, he’s deluding himself if that’s what he thinks. He doesn’t look at you the way AJ or Brayden looks at you.”
Images flashed in my mind of Rhys during his fitting. “But that’s just lust. I want him to look at me with more in his eyes.” Feeling tears pricking my eyes, I said, “I want him to love me.”
“He does look at you with more than lust, Allison. He’s guarded with his feelings for you, but it’s there.”
Swiping the tears away from my eyes, I shook my head. “Even if he did realize how he felt, he’s never going to go against Jake by pursuing me.”
“You don’t know that.”
“It’s hopeless,” I murmured.
We were interrupted by Jax and Jules beginning to fuss at being held captive in their high chairs. As we picked them up and took them to their pallet, Abby said, “There’s something else I need to say.”
“What is it?” I asked, putting Jax’s favorite stuffed animal within his grasp.
Her expression had saddened since we left the table. “You know that more than anything, I want you to be happy.”
“Yes.”
“Regardless of what happens between you and Rhys, I don’t want to see Eli get hurt.”
“Me either.”
“I know that everything between you two is just fun and games right now. But Eli’s already putting himself out there for you far more than he has for a girl in a long, long time. I know it would be easy to use him to get back at Rhys—”
“I would never do that to him.”
Abby sighed. “Deep down, I know you wouldn’t knowingly do anything to hurt Eli. But just be careful how far you let this go with him. If you go out with him and see that there’s nothing really there but friendship, let him know. Just don’t lead him on.”
“I promise I won’t. I know the agony of caring about someone who doesn’t feel the same way about you.”
Satisfied with my response, Abby nodded. “Good. Now what exactly are you going to wear tomorrow night?”
I laughed at the complete change of conversation. “I have no idea. I’m not even sure I have anything with me that is club worthy. I didn’t exactly pack that kind of thing for this summer.”
“You and I are pretty much the same size. I’m sure you could borrow one of my show dresses off the rack that I haven’t worn.” Her eyes widened excitedly. “There are several really sexy dresses from my pre-twins days.” When I opened my mouth to protest that she looked like she had lost all her baby weight, she shook her head. “I’ve gone up a dress size.” Then with a devious little grin, she said, “I’ll refrain from telling you what Jake had to say about why he liked the weight gain.”
Holding up a hand, I said, “Knowing him as well as I do, I really don’t want to know.”
Abby’s girlish giggle sent a longing ache ricocheting through my chest. More than anything in the world, I wanted what she and Jake had—a great romance, a deep love, and lots of fun and heat in the bedroom. As much as I wanted that with Rhys, maybe it was time for me to try to move on. He obviously wasn’t going to suddenly become emotionally available or decide that all the reasons not to be together didn’t really matter.
Maybe it was meant for me to truly give Eli a chance. I mean, it didn’t hurt that he seemed to really like being with me, either as a friend or romantically. He had so many admirable qualities like being kind, thoughtful, and good with the twins. Not to mention the fact he was funny as hell. I could see us getting along really well. So there was really no reason for me to hesitate about giving him a real chance. After all, Rhys had made it very clear that we should forget about Savannah and move on. Maybe this was how I was supposed to do it.
Clinging to that thought, I decided that tomorrow night I was going to be wearing the sexiest dress imaginable, even if I had to make some alterations to it myself. Yes, I was about to change my destiny for the better.
Chapter Twelve
With my bass guitar strapped to me, my fingers worked to produce the notes that flowed alongside the melodies of Runaway Train’s music. Today’s rehearsal with the guys found us working on some of the new material we were planning on integrating into the show. Usually we only rehearsed the day of the show, but even though we had tonight off, we were making the most of our time.
While I might have been on stage, my mind could barely focus on anything but Allison. Things had been flowing along so easily between us after our talk on Jake’s bus. That was until yesterday. Fuck, being that close to her for the measurements and then reacting the way I did. I’d wanted nothing more than to bury myself deep inside her or have her luscious lips wrapped around my dick.
But it wasn’t just the thoughts of screwing that had invaded my mind. No, it had to do with my heart as well, and how Allison had called me out on not being honest about the feelings I had for her. She’d always been a smart girl, and she was smart enough to see I had been lying to her.
“Okay, I think that’s good for today. Let’s get the hell out of here,” Jake said.
After I handed off my guitar to a roadie, I started out of the arena to the car that was waiting to take us back to the hotel. “Rhys!” Jake called behind me.
Pausing, I waited for him to catch up. “Hey man, I need to ask you a favor,” Jake said.