Stranger in My Arms(90)

“Yes.”

“You selfish wretch,” she cried, her mouth trembling.

“I would become anyone, anything for you. I would lie, steal, beg, kill for you. I’m not sorry for what I did the past few months. My life would have been nothing without them.”

“What about my life?” she choked. “How can you claim to care for me when you’ve done nothing but lie and take advantage, and make me into the biggest fool that ever lived?”

“You’re not a fool, Lara. I made it easy for you to believe that I was Hunter. I knew that you would ignore your own doubts if you wanted to believe in me-and you did.”

“None of it was real,” she said, tears beginning to slide down her face in heavy streaks. “Everything you said to me, every time you kissed me… it was all a lie.”

“No,” he said hoarsely. He made a move to come to her, then checked himself as he saw her shrink back.

“I don’t even know your name. Oh, why did you have to pretend you were Hunter?”

“Could I have had you any other way?” he asked, his voice raspy. It was acute torture to see her cry and not be able to comfort her. “If I’d come to you with the truth about who I was, would you have let me near you?”

Lara was silent for a long time. “No,” she finally said.

He nodded, her answer confirming what he had already known.

“I can’t lie for you,” Lara ventured after a moment of introspection.

“I couldn’t go through the rest of my life-” ~ he muttered. ~ wouldn’t expect that.”’ Lara’s entire body went rigid as he walked toward her.

He moved carefully, as if he thought a sudden movement might cause her to bolt. He stopped within an arm’s length of her and sank to his haunches. “I could never tire of looking at you,” he said huskily.

“Your beautiful green eyes. Your sweet face.” He stared at her with such na**d need that she felt scorched by the dark fire of his gaze.

“Lara, there’s something you have to understand. The past few months with you… the time we’ve had together … it’s worth dying for. if it’s all I can have, it’s enough. So it doesn’t matter what you choose to say tomorrow, or what happens to me from now on.”

Lara couldn’t speak. She had to escape him before her tears became uncontrollable. Standing jerkily, she ducked her head and made her way to the door. She thought he said her name, but she couldn’t stop, couldn’t bear his presence without falling apart.

Sophie was waiting for her, her gaze arrowing to Lara’s ravaged face.

“You’re in love with him,” she said simply, curving an arm around Lara’s shoulders.

Together they walked up the stairs.

“I’m so sorry,” Lara said with a broken laugh. “You must despise me for feeling this way, when I never gave my love to the man who was truly entitled to it.”

As a pragmatist who was fond of reducing any situation down to a skeleton of unvarnished fact, Sophie was not moved to agree. “Why should I despise you? I don’t know that my son was entitled to your love. Did he ever make a sincere effort to win your heart?”

“No, but-” “Of course he didn’t Hunter was too enamored of that Lady Carlysle, though God only knew what he saw in that mannish creature.

He was mad over her, and he should have married her. To my regret,.I advised him to marry you instea4 and keep her on the side. He could run with the hare and hunt with the hounds, I told him. It was a mistake on my part. I hoped your charms would grow on Hunter, and you would influence him for the better.”

“Well, that didn’t happen,” Lara said. Although she hadn’t intended the comment to be amusing, the dowager emitted a dry laugh.

“Obviously.” She sighed, her face sobering as they reached the family parlor. “My poor son,” she said.

“I know full well that he wasn’t a good husband to you. He never had a sense of responsibility. Perhaps it was that he grew up so spoiled, everything coming easily to him. He could have done with a few of the hardships that mold a man’s character. But I couldn’t help doting on him. He was all I had. I encouraged him in his selfishness, I’m afraid.”

Although Lara was tempted to agree with Sophie, she held her silence.

They sat close together, as before, and she rubbed her tired eyes. “Have you decided what you will do tomorrow?” the dowager asked briskly.

“What choice is there? I have a responsibility to tell the truth.”

“Nonsense.”

“What?” Lara asked faintly.

“I’ve never understood why honesty is always considered to be the highest virtue. There are more important things than truth.”

Taken aback, Lara stared at her with wide eyes.

“Pardon, but that seems a very odd thing to say.”

“Is it? You’ve always been too conventional, Lara.

Have you no concern for the dependents whose fate is being determined by the outcome of this? And is your own well-being of no consequence?”

“You sound as if you want this stranger to take the place of your son,” Lara said incredulously.

“My son is gone,” the dowager said. “All I can do now is take stock of the situation as it is. Arthur and his wife have proved that they will not safeguard the Hawksworth inheritance. They will do everything in their power to disgrace the title. On the other hand, legitimate or no, this young man is my husband’s issue, and he seems to have performed adequately in the role of Hawksworth. To my way of thinking, he has as much right to the title as Arthur. Added to that, he seems to have won your affection. I did wrongly by him all those years ago.