Stranger in My Arms(77)

“He was not kind,” Rachel agreed, “and I cannot defend him on every point. However, if I had realized my condition and told him, he might have become more considerate, and the accident would not have happened.”

Lara became so agitated that she released Rachel’s hand and sprang to her feet. She paced in a circle, fuming. “After this so-called accident, I am certain Lonsdale will be contrite for a while. And then he will revert to his true self… condescending, selfish, and cruel.

He will not change, Rachel!”

Rachel’s hazel eyes, usually so soft, were cool and keen as she stared at Lara. “Your husband did,” she pointed out. “Didn’t he?”

Lara was bewildered by the hint of challenge in her sister’s tone.

“Yes,” she said warily, “Hunter has become a better man. But I frequently remind myself that the change may not be permanent.”

Rachel regarded her for a long moment. “I think it is,” she murmured.

“I think Hawksworth has become a different man altogether. The day he came to fetch me from Lonsdale House, I hardly recognized him. The pain had become quite severe, and I wasn’t thinking clearly, and then he appeared … I thought he was some kind, dear stranger. I could not fathom that he was actually Hawksworth. I thought, quite literally, that he was an angel.”

“He has his moments,” Lara admitted, while the phrase “different man altogether” echoed oddly in her mind. She stared at her sister’s downturned face.

“Rachel, I have the feeling you are hinting and talking around something-” She stopped and gathered her nerve before asking, “Are you trying to say that you don’t believe my husband is really Hawksworth?”

Rachel’s penetrating gaze locked with hers. “I choose to believe he is Hawksworth because you’ve chosen to believe it.”

“It is not a matter of choice,” Lara said, profoundly disturbed. “All the facts support his identity-” “The facts are not absolute. One could argue endlessly over them.”

Rachel’s composure only underscored Lara’s inner turbulence. “The heart of the matter is, you have accepted him for reasons only you understand.” She smiled wryly. “Dearest, you are the least self-aware person I’ve ever known. All your thoughts and energies are turned outward and expended on others. You make decisions impulsively, instinctively, without ever examIning your motives. And you involve yourself in other people’s problems as an excuse to keep from looking too closely at your own.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that..” Rachel’s voice trailed away, and she stared at Lara in loving concern. “Forgive me. I’m distressing you when there’s no need. All I mean to convey is, I have chosen to believe that by some miracle your husband has come home to you, because I want your happiness so badly. And in return you must allow me to return to Lonsdale when I’m ready, and hope for a miracle of my own.”

Lara lay on her stomach, her na**d body stretched on the bed, while her husband spread scented oil between his palms.

The fragrance of lavender filled the air with drugging sweetness. She stiffened as she felt Hunter’s warm hands on her back. A gentle shhhh escaped his lips, the sound soothing her, and she lay still beneath his ministrations.

He displayed astonishing knowledge of her body, finding the knotted muscles of her shoulders and the coiled places all down her back, releasing the pain with such precision that Lara couldn’t prevent a groan of pleasure. “Oh, that feels so… oh, yes, there.”

His thumbs fanned the sore muscles on either side of her spine in half-circular strokes that worked up to her shoulders. “Tell me what’s wrong,” he said after several minutes, when she was relaxed and pliant beneath him.

His hand settled on the nape of her neck, fingers compressing the knotted muscles.

Suddenly Lara found it easy to confide the worry that had made it impossible for her to eat during supper. Despite Hunter’s coaxing, she had remained miserably silent, hunched over the plate of untouched food, until he had finally brought her to the privacy of their room.

“I talked to Rachel about Lonsdale today,” she said. “She wants to return to him when she’s able. Naturally I objected, and we quarreled.

If only I could find the right words to convince her that she mustn’t go back. I have to think of something-” “Lara,” he interrupted, his fingers working at the base of her neck. There was a smile in his voice. “As always, you want to charge forward with a solution and settle everything to your satisfaction. But that won’t work this time.

Let Rachel rest. Don’t press her for answers she’s not ready to give.

She’s not going anywhere for a while.”

Recognizing the wisdom of his advice, Lara slumped beneath him. “I’m too impatient,” she said, berating herself. “I should never have mentioned Lonsdale so soon. When will I learn to stop meddling?”

Hunter turned her over and smiled, his lavender-scented hand splayed over the frame of her collarbone. “I love your impatience,” he murmured. “I love your meddling.”

Lara gazed uncertainly at the dark face above hers.

“Rachel said that I involve myself with other people’s problems as a way of avoiding my own. Do you agree with her?”