Stranger in My Arms(4)

Meeting her sister at the door, Lara eagerly welcomed her inside.

Rachel was expensively dressed, her brown hair pulled back to reveal the delicate point of a widow’s peak. The sweet scent of violets clung to her hair and skin.

“Dear Larissa,” Rachel said, glancing about the cottage, “for the thousandth time, why don’t you come live with Terrell and me? There are a dozen rooms to spare, and you would be much more comfortable” “Thank you, Rachel.” Lara hugged her sister. “But I couldn’t stay under the same roof as your husband.

I can’t pretend to tolerate a man who doesn’t treat you properly. And I’m certain that Lord Lonsdale holds me in equal disaffection.”

“He isn’t that bad-” “He’s an abominable husband, much as you try to pretend otherwise. Lord Lonsdale doesn’t give a fig about anyone but himself, and he never will.”

Rachel frowned and seated herself by the hearth.

“Sometimes I think the only person, man or woman, that Terrell ever truly liked was Lord Hawksworth.”

“They were cut from the same cloth,” Lara agreed, “except that at least Hunter never raised a hand to me.”

“It was only the once,” Rachel protested. “I never should have told you of it.”

“You didn’t need to tell me. The bruise on your face was evidence enough.”

They were both silent, remembering the episode two months before when Lord Lonsdale had struck Rachel during an argument. The mark on Rachel’s cheek and eye had taken weeks to fade, causing Rachel to hide in her home until she could venture out without causing suspicion. Now Rachel claimed that Lord Lonsdale deeply regretted his loss of self-control. She had forgiven him, she said, and she wished Lara would do the same.

Lara couldn’t forgive anyone who had hurt her sister, and she had the suspicion that it would happen again. It almost made her wish that Hunter really were alive. In spite of his faults, he would never have countenanced hitting a woman. Hunter would have made it clear to Lord Lonsdale that such behavior was unacceptable. And Lonsdale might have heeded him, as Hunter was one of the few people on earth whom he respected.

“I didn’t come here to talk about that, Larissa.”

Rachel’s gaze was loving and concerned as she watched her older sister seat herself on an upholstered footstool nearby. “I heard the news about Lord Hawksworth. Tell me… is he actually coming back to you?”

Lara shook her head. “No, of course not. Some crackbrain in London is claiming to be my husband.

Mr. Young and Dr. Slade are visiting him, and I’m certain they’ll have him confined in either Bedlam or Newgate, depending on whether he’s mad or a criminal.”

“Then there’s no chance that Lord Hawksworth is alive?” Reading the answer in Lara’s face, Rachel sighed. “I’m sorry to say it, but my mind is relieved.

I know that your marriage was not a good one. All I want is for you to be happy.”

“I wish the same for you,” Lara said earnestly.

“And you’re in far worse circumstances than I ever was, Rachel. Hunter was far from the ideal husband, but he and I got along well enough, except for…”

She stopped and blushed suddenly.

It wasn’t easy for her to speak of intimate matters.

She and Rachel had a puritanical upbringing, their parents kind but distant. It had been left to Lara and Rachel to learn about the act of physical intercourse on their respective wedding nights. For Lara, the discovery had been an unpleasant one.

Rachel seemed to read her thoughts, as always. “Oh, Lara,” she murmured, the color rising in her own face, “I think Lord Hawksworth must not have been as considerate of you as he should.” Her voice lowered as she continued. “Lovemaking isn’t so terrible, really.

There were times with Terrell, early in our marriage, when I actually found it rather pleasant. Lately, of course, it’s not at all the same.

But I still remember how it once was.”

“Pleasant?” Lara stared at her in amazement. “For once, you’ve managed to shock me. How you could have liked something so embarrassing and painful is beyond me-unless you’re trying to make a very bad joke.”

“Weren’t there occasions when Lord Hawksworth kissed you, held you close, and you felt rather warm and… well, womanly?”

Lara fell into a perplexed silence. She failed to see how lovemaking-ironic term for such a repulsive act-could not be painful.

“No,” she said thoughtfully, “I can’t ever remember feeling that way.

Hunter wasn’t fond of kissing or embracing. And when it was over, I was glad of it.”

Rachel’s face was soft with pity. “Did he ever say that he loved you?”

Lara gave a hollow laugh at the idea. “Goodness, no, Hunter would never have admitted to such a thing.” A bleak smile curved her lips.

“He didn’t love me. There was another woman whom he should have married instead of me. I think he often regretted his mistake.”

“You never told me that,” Rachel exclaimed. “Who is she?”

“Lady Carlysle,” Lara mumbled, vaguely surprised that after all this time, the name still caused a sour taste in her mouth.

“What is she like? Did you ever meet her?”