Starting Now (Blossom Street #9)(93)
“How are you feeling?”
“Passable.” The pain wasn’t nearly as raw as it had been the day before, but it was there, pressing hard against her chest, a heavy weight against her tender heart. For as long as Libby could remember, her cure had been to keep busy, to work harder and longer and ignore everything and everyone else. If she could occupy her mind with menial matters then she wouldn’t dwell on her troubles. This was how she’d survived following her mother’s death and how she’d gotten through her divorce.
“Good.” He leaned down and kissed her forehead. “I’m sorry to rush out of here but I took weekend duty for a friend so I need to get to the hospital.”
While she would have rather he stayed, she accepted that he needed to go. She walked him to the door and resisted the urge to hug him for fear it would make their parting even more difficult for her. “Thank you,” she whispered.
“You’re welcome.” He placed his hand at the base of her neck and brought her mouth to his, kissing her gently. “Can I see you tonight?” he asked. “Would you like to go sailing?”
He’d asked her the same thing the night before, thinking, she was sure, that being on the water would help her deal with her pain. Earlier it had seemed impossible that she would ever be able to leave the comfort of her condo. This morning, she felt more inclined. “That would be perfect.”
“I’ll text you when I can.” He hesitated as though it was difficult to leave her.
“Okay.” She walked him to the elevator and he kissed her again, wrapping his arms around her, and holding her tight and close, so close that for a moment it was almost difficult to breathe.
Libby had a busy day. Robin stopped by shortly after Phillip left and packed up Amy Jo’s room for her. Lydia phoned twice just to make sure she was doing all right. Her family of friends surrounded her with love. Later that evening, and on Sunday, too, Phillip came and they sailed across Lake Washington. The wind buffeted her face, drying her tears as she did her best to hide the fact that she was crying. Phillip simply held her as she worked through her loss.
Monday morning Libby found Phillip waiting for her outside Frankie and Johnny’s. He draped his arm around her shoulders as they entered the gym. He seemed to have a hard time taking his eyes off her. If they’d been anyplace else she suspected he might have kissed her.
Robin was waiting for her inside the locker room. “I wasn’t sure you’d show,” she said, watching Libby closely.
Libby sat on the bench and looked up at her friend. “The way I figure, I could stay home and feel sorry for myself, or get on with my life. I’ve decided to move forward.” It wouldn’t be easy, but Libby would ignore the hole in her heart and do her best to forget this abrupt and unwelcome twist in the story line she’d conjured up for herself. It was as if the universe had intervened and put the kibosh on her new, risk-taking, joy-seeking self.
“Anything I can do?” Robin asked.
“Not really, but thanks for offering.”
“What are your plans for the day?”
Libby had given the matter some thought. “After the gym I’m going to talk to Ava about this adoption. I want to make sure, as Amy Jo’s biological mother, she can have a role in the baby’s life later even if she doesn’t think she wants that now. My fear is that she’ll change her mind at some point. Also, I thought I’d contact Peter’s family and offer them all the baby furniture I purchased. They’re going to need it.”
“They should pay for it,” Robin insisted.
Libby had briefly considered that. It wasn’t like she could afford it, either. “No, it’ll be my gift to them. They aren’t wealthy people and they’re already picking up the attorney costs for the adoption and making big changes in their lives for … Grace.” She stumbled over Amy Jo’s new name.
Robin shook her head. “You have a generous heart, Libby.”
Libby wasn’t convinced it was generosity as much as self-preservation. She didn’t want the baby furniture at the condo any longer than necessary. It was a constant reminder to her of all she’d lost.
“Don’t you have a second appointment this afternoon with those friends of the Buckleys?” Robin asked.
“I do.” At three Libby was scheduled to meet with the Nyquist family regarding trust funds they wished to set up for their grandchildren’s college education. After her initial contact with them Libby got the impression this could be the beginning of a long and fruitful relationship. She certainly felt that way about the Buckleys.
Following her meeting with the Nyquists, Libby stopped off at A Good Yarn. After everything Phillip had done for her over the past few days she wanted to find a special way to thank him. She decided to knit him a sweater.
They met for dinner on the waterfront that night. Phillip was full of stories from the hospital. She knew he was looking to distract and entertain her. They walked hand in hand along the piers and decided to ride the ferry over to Bainbridge Island for no better reason than to buy a latte and ride back. All the time she’d lived in Seattle, Libby had never taken a ferry for pleasure, and Phillip confessed that he hadn’t, either.
Tuesday morning at the gym Libby stepped onto the treadmill and started her workout. She ran faster and longer than she usually did, struggling not to think about Amy Jo. She accepted that the Armstrongs had a claim on the baby that was their son’s child, but that didn’t make it any easier to let her go.