Starting Now (Blossom Street #9)(47)
“Libby, you’re being too hard on yourself.” He leaned forward and gently squeezed her upper arm. “It isn’t as bad as all that. It was just one interview.”
She pulled back. Phillip might think he was helping, but he wasn’t. He didn’t know her well enough to realize this irresponsible behavior wasn’t normal for her. Nor did he appreciate how angry she was with herself.
Their lunch arrived and Phillip immediately reached for his sandwich. It was cut into fourths, each secured with a fancy toothpick with a frilly, colorful cellophane top. Elegant for a cafe, Libby mused.
She tasted her soup and it was delicious. Well, at least her taste buds hadn’t gotten depressed along with everything else. Libby had about as much zip as a slug. Her head throbbed, and she longed to curl into a tight ball and sleep. What she would give to put all of this behind her and simply sleep.
Phillip had eaten half of his sandwich before he paused. “I didn’t get dinner last night and was starving.” He looked down at his plate and then at Libby’s. “All right, why the glum face now? I get that you messed up, but you need to pick yourself up and move on. Right?”
If she’d had more sleep and her wits about her she might have been able to sidestep the question. Frankly she didn’t have the energy.
“I don’t have a lot of friends, and after the stunt I pulled with the botched interview I’m afraid I’ve lost a good one.”
“Stop beating yourself up.”
“Don’t you understand?” she cried, losing patience with him. “This was exactly the wake-up call I needed.”
“What do you mean?” Frowning, he pushed the empty plate aside.
She exhaled and decided the best way to deal with him was to be straightforward. He was the type of man who appreciated the truth.
“I think it might be best if we don’t see each other for a while.”
He stared back at her blankly, as if he hadn’t heard a word she’d said.
“Is that what you want, Libby?” he asked after several moments.
She didn’t know anymore so she avoided the question. “I’m not the woman I used to be and the woman I’m becoming is frightening me.”
“What’s that got to do with you and me?”
“Everything. Don’t you see? I can’t be seeing you … A relationship is a distraction I can’t deal with right now. I’ve got to find work. I love being an attorney and I’m good at it. Getting back to work has got to be my focus.”
He stared at her long and hard. “If you’re having trouble finding work, why not set up your own practice? Why does it have to be with a big firm?”
Libby started to argue and quickly closed her mouth. All these months and not once had she considered opening her own practice. Actually, that was an excellent idea, and worthy of consideration. Still, it didn’t change matters between Phillip and her.
“You’re a very nice person …”
“But you aren’t interested,” he finished for her. “No problem, I get the message. In other words, thanks but no thanks.”
That wasn’t it at all, but she didn’t want to argue with him.
“It’s not you, it’s me, right?” He grinned but his face lacked any hint of amusement. “Not the most original line, but it works.” He scooted back his chair and stood. “Best of luck to you, Libby. I enjoyed being with you, but I think you’re probably smart to end it now before either of us invests any more time in this relationship.”
She started to say something, but he walked away. Libby longed to call him back but swallowed the words. He was right: it was best to end this now. That didn’t explain why she longed to race after him and tell him she’d made a mistake. For a long time she sat, staring into space, and wondered what she’d just done. Already her heart was telling her that she would regret it.
Unsure how much time had passed, Libby reached for her purse in order to leave, then paused, thinking about Phillip’s suggestion. All morning she’d been telling herself she needed to focus, and there was no time like the present. Reaching for the small notepad inside her purse, she quickly compiled a list of what she would need.
Such a venture would be expensive. It wasn’t like she was rolling in cash. When she was first laid off she had had a hefty savings account, mainly because she spent all of her time at the office. Only rarely did she take the opportunity to shop, and when she did, it was mostly online.
Her severance package had carried her for a while, but now she was digging into her savings, which were going fast. Soon she’d be forced to sell some of her investment stocks, and with the market so low she would suffer a loss.
If she set up her own shop, the first person she would hire would be Sarah, her paralegal. She’d need someone organized and efficient, and Sarah was certainly that. The two of them made a great team. Maybe it was possible. Certainly it was worth considering.
Her mother used to say that everything happened for a reason. Maybe she was meant to be late for that interview. As soon as she was home, she’d contact Robin and bounce the idea off her.
Libby’s shoulders slumped forward. She debated whether to contact her friend or wait. She decided to wait. If she didn’t hear from Robin by Monday morning, then Libby would have her answer as to how pissed off her friend actually was.