Spider Game (GhostWalkers, #12)(37)
She frowned. She didn’t look afraid of him, but then, she was a spider, a woman who could slip in and out of places and she didn’t realize he wasn’t talking about physical captivity. He knew her mind would go there first.
Trap shook his head. “I’m not talking about locking you up, baby. I’m talking about keeping your heart. Holding you close to me always. Never giving you back your heart. Never. You give me that, I’ll keep it safe, but I won’t return it.”
She laid her head back down on his shoulder, turning her face into his neck. He felt her breath. He lost her eyes, but her body had once again melted into his. Her tongue tasted his skin right under his jaw. A tentative touch, but that told him she was curious. More than curious. She had a need just the same as his.
He had to be patient. He had to let that need build until she came to him. He couldn’t take it from her. Too much had already been taken. He needed to be the one that gave her whatever she needed or wanted. Give her everything she could want or need until she understood that she was safe with him and that he was real and his caring was real.
“I don’t think that’s such a bad thing, Trap,” she whispered against his jaw. Softly. Clearly trying to puzzle out what could be the deception – the con – he was running on her.
She was in his mind. He felt her there, a soft little presence, clinging when she didn’t notice that she was. It was intense to have someone sharing one’s mind. To feel them gently pouring into every shadow, those dark places where insanity lurked. He knew she couldn’t help but feel his sincerity – or hear the honesty in his voice. She didn’t trust it, and he didn’t blame her. He had to earn that.
“I want to show you what it’s like to have a family. To live in a house and laugh and love. I want that for you. I didn’t have it very long, but I did have it. I want the chance to make that happen for you. I started with the apartment because I want you to feel you always have your own space. Even when we’re together, when you’re living with me and sleeping in my bed, when you need it, that apartment will be there.”
He turned his head and brushed her forehead with his mouth. “Just remember, baby, once you share my bed, that’s where you’ll sleep. Right beside me.”
She was very still, stroking his arm, her fingers absently tracing little patterns over his muscles there. “Why? Why would you want that?”
“I want to be able to hold you just like this. You have a bad day, I need to be there for you. I have one, I want your arms around me.” His hand shaped the nape of her neck. Slid down her spine to the curve of her bottom. “I want to reach for you in the middle of the night. It takes a lot to keep my cock happy, baby, and I’m fairly certain with you there, ready for me, for the first time in my life, I won’t be thinking about f*cking every minute of the day because you will have satisfied me. I swear, Cayenne, I’ll do everything in my power to keep you satisfied.”
She was silent, absorbing the information. Still unsure of him. Still nervous about giving herself to him, but knowing she already had. He felt that. He knew she wasn’t rescinding, only feeling her way.
“Everything is new to me, Trap,” she confessed. “I lived in a cell and had minimum contact with people. All my training was done in closed environments because they were afraid I’d escape and be let loose on the world. They were right to be afraid, I would have. But just like now, I wouldn’t have known what to do. I might have even gone back. I don’t understand about family or relationships. I don’t know the first thing about a home or how to make one or be in one. I don’t know how to support myself or anyone else. I don’t know how to please you that way at all.”
He groaned softly. “Baby, you kiss like sin. That’s a good thing. Hot and wild, just like I need. You light up for me. Catch fire. That’s all you. Everything else, I can teach you. I know what I’m doing. I want that chance as well. You’ve got instincts, Cayenne, good ones. You burn for me when you get close. I have no doubt you’ll please me and I’ll please you. I tend to be very good at giving instructions and telling a woman what I want from them. I’ll want you to do the same.”
She turned her face into the hollow of his shoulder and bit down gently. “I don’t like that.”
He held himself still. He didn’t want her agitated where she might really bite him again before he had the chance to build enough antibodies in his system against her particular type of toxin. He was absolutely certain he could find a way to do that.
“Don’t like what?” he murmured, keeping his voice gentle.
“The idea of other women with you.” She lifted her head again, her green gaze searching his blue one. “Why is that? I mean, I really don’t like it. My stomach just got tight and I felt the venom wanting to be released. Also, the thought kind of hurts.”
He wanted to smile at her voice. That thoughtful, interested tone, with just a small note of annoyance. “Of course you wouldn’t like the idea of me with other women. I don’t like the idea of you being close to other men. Didn’t you notice I was really upset when Pascal put his hand on your ass?”
She nodded, not taking her eyes from his. Not blinking. Looking for the information she needed and trying to understand. “Yes, I knew that upset you, but I didn’t know why. When you got all snarly with me, I tried to figure it out, but nothing made sense to me.”