Spider Game (GhostWalkers, #12)(104)

Now he thought about Cayenne. Always. She was there in his mind. When he was away from her, he felt uneasy. He knew, logically, it was because he hadn’t been able to prevent the loss of his family, but more, it was because they shared the same mind. It was impossible to feel alone when she was with him, filling every dark place, removing all dark thoughts. He’d been alone so long, now he had her.


She thought her need for him was greater than his for her, but that wasn’t the case. He was man enough to admit that. Once he’d found her, once he knew they were compatible in every way, she’d wrapped herself around his heart, around his very guts. More, she was entrenched in his mind.


He didn’t let her go, not all the way. He kept that thread between them, like one of her thin silky feelers. Monitoring her. It was wrong on so many levels, spying on her innermost thoughts. He had never been a jealous man, or a possessive one, until Cayenne. Women came and went. He didn’t want them close. His need for Cayenne consumed him. She made him whole. She made him a better man. She did it all by giving herself to him without reservation. Anything he asked. Anything. Most importantly, she gave him complete trust in and out of the bedroom.


For a woman to hand a man that kind of gift – he couldn’t imagine anything greater. She let him do anything he wanted, and in return, he worshipped her. She didn’t know that, because he wasn’t like she was. She didn’t play games. She gave him complete and total honesty at all times. If he asked a question, there was no hedging. She gave him the answer. She didn’t hold back from him. He hadn’t learned that yet. He still protected himself, and the more vulnerable he was, the more he tried to keep that protection in place.


Trap knew there was no going back to a life without her. She had become his world, inside or out of the laboratory. He didn’t want to go back. He just didn’t like separation and vowed, from now on, he was going to stick close to her. She didn’t seem to need space from him, so he was going to take advantage of that.


He knew absolutely he was the needy one. He was also a first-class bastard. He was selfish. He always had been. He did what he wanted when he wanted. He had become used to being rude and expecting those around him to put up with it. At first, he’d wanted to drive people away and keep them at a distance. Now, that behavior was ingrained in him.


He could have anything he wanted. He had that much money. He wanted a machine costing a couple hundred thousand, or a million, he bought it if it was important to him. His assistant provided anything he asked for and would answer his call even in the middle of the night. He was used to deference when he addressed others. He was used to getting his way in all things.


He not only wanted Cayenne – he needed her. That meant he would use everything at his disposal to keep her tied to him. Everything he’d told her about having a child and saving her life was true. He had finally found her files on the computer. He’d read them carefully. He knew when her period was. He had already calculated when she could get pregnant. He’d waited to say something to her until he was certain he’d managed to plant his child in her. He had known all along it was wrong. He also had known she would forgive him.


He pressed his hand to his heart. The physical reactions to her were getting stronger. Separation anxiety was growing with every moment they were apart. He forced himself not to call Wyatt back. Ezekiel had trailed after Wyatt to protect the family on their outing. Trap was grateful he was alone. He knew Zeke or Wyatt would have known he was in distress and they were astute enough to guess that being away from Cayenne was the reason.


He felt her then. In his mind. The sudden alarm. Near panic when Cayenne didn’t panic. Trap leapt to his feet, his shout sending birds lifting into the air. Cayenne. He reached for her. There was a moment of clarity. He knew she threw herself in front of Nonny, and as Wyatt’s grandmother rose from her chair, Cayenne leapt up to cover her head as best she could with her own body.


The bullet drove her back into the older woman. Both went down. The second bullet struck, a one-two punch. Cayenne was already fading, barely feeling the second bullet. She had shut everything down deliberately, realizing the bullets penetrated deep enough to do damage. She was bleeding and she didn’t know how bad either of the wounds was.


He was in the boat, ready to start it when first Wyatt arrived, two of the toddlers on his hip. Ezekiel followed with Ginger, racing through the swamp to gain the boat before Trap had taken off.


Cayenne. Trap reached for her. Allowed Wyatt to take over. He sank down on the seat and gripped the edge of the boat, uncaring that his enhanced strength might leave evidence behind. He waited. Reached for her. There had been a flash of intense pain. He’d felt her heart jar. Hard. As if shock waves had shaken it. For one moment, her heart’s rhythm had changed.


He’d had her close. Warm. Inside him. One second could change his life. He knew that. It had happened twice before. One second had changed everything. Taken his family. Taken his aunt.


Not you, Cayenne. Don’t you f*cking die on me. You aren’t leaving me. Do you understand? Whatever happened, you keep breathing. For God’s sake, baby, don’t you f*cking die.


“Trap.” Wyatt’s voice was ultra-quiet. “The girls can’t breathe. You have to get it under control.”


The voice registered, but he really didn’t hear the words. He was someplace else. Inside himself. Someplace no one could reach him. Get to him. Make him feel anything but sheer ice.