Songbird(17)

She sat staring out the window on the drive home. The scenery passed in a blur, not really registering in her consciousness.

“Why does he hate me so much? He’s always hated me.”

“Forget him,” Taggert growled.

She shivered as she remembered the sting of her father’s belt. Never would she forget the helpless rage he invoked in her. She hated that trapped-animal feeling. He’d treated her no better than an animal to be kicked when its master was displeased.

“What are you thinking about, Emmy?” Greer asked softly from the backseat.

“His belt,” she said honestly before she could think better of it.

“His what?” Taggert demanded.

She shook her head and turned away to look out the window once more.

Greer scooted forward, draping his arms across the backs of the two front seats. “Talk to me, Emily. What the hell did you mean?”

She closed her eyes and curled her fingers into tight fists. Maybe it was time they knew the truth. Maybe then they wouldn’t think she’d recklessly run off with Sean because she was in a pique over their rejection.

“The day I came over…” She swallowed. She hadn’t realized how painful it would be to revisit this part of her past. “My father had beaten me because Sean took me to talent night over at the honkeytonk. It was the night I met Frank.”

“He beat you?” Greer asked in a horrified voice.

“What are we talking about here, Emily?” Taggert demanded.

“Please, just let me finish,” she begged.

They fell silent but their faces were masks of anger, their lips drawn into tight lines.

“I just wanted to get away so I worked up the courage to tell you how I felt. I was young and stupid. I didn’t really think through it all. And then when you sent me away I went home to another beating. This time he didn’t just use a belt.”

“Son of a bitch!” Greer spit out.

“Sean came over to see me. I didn’t want him to know, but my father had gone into town and Sean came in anyway. He was so angry. I’ve never seen him so angry. He told me he’d never let me stay another night in that house. He wanted to take me back to the ranch so I told him what happened and that I couldn’t go back there.”

She closed her eyes, tears slipping silently down her cheeks as she remembered the events of that night.

“He packed me a bag and then told me he loved me, that he’d always love me and take care of me and that we were going to Vegas to get married and that I was going to call Frank and tell him I wanted to talk about my career.”

She turned in her seat so she could see both Taggert and Greer and they could see her. “I didn’t marry Sean to get back at you. I didn’t do it to punish you, and I didn’t do it in some fit of childish temper. I loved him just like I loved you. I’d always loved him. I couldn’t stay there with my father anymore, and when you told me we couldn’t be together there was no reason for me to stay in Creed’s Pass any longer.”

“Goddamn it!” Taggert exploded, his hands pounding the steering wheel. He braked hard and pulled the truck to the side of the road, and then he sat there, hands locked on the column, his jaw clenching and unclenching spasmodically.

To her shock, when he finally turned to her, tears burned bright in his eyes.

“Why didn’t you tell us, Emmy? Why would you keep something like that from us? Why?”

“I didn’t want anyone to know,” she said painfully. “I didn’t want Sean to know.”

“We could have helped you. We would have taken you out of there,” Greer rasped. “We would have never let you stay there if we’d known. Yes, he’s an uptight ass**le. Everyone knows that. We knew he made your life hell with his narrow-minded bullshit, but goddamn it, Emily, we would have never let you stay there if we knew his abuse was physical.”

“He was my legal guardian,” she said in a shaky voice. “What could you have done? He was my father.”

“Bullshit,” Taggert swore. “I would have killed the bastard for ever touching you.”

“How many times?” Greer gritted out.

She didn’t pretend to misunderstand the question. “Whenever I displeased him,” she said dully.

Taggert turned away, his face ravaged by grief. “I’m going to kill him. So help me, I’m going to hunt him down and kill him.”

Emily put her hand on his arm. “No, please, Taggert. He can’t hurt me anymore. Just leave it be. I wouldn’t have told you at all, but I wanted you to understand why I married Sean. I wasn’t trying to punish you and Greer. I loved Sean with all my heart, and I’ll never be able to forgive myself for all the sacrifices he made. I was the reason he died, Tagg. Not you.”

The interior of the truck closed in on her. Hot and suffocating. She needed air. She needed to breathe. She needed to get away from the horror etched into Greer’s and Taggert’s faces.

Fumbling with the door, she yanked the handle and nearly fell out in her haste to get away. Ignoring Greer’s shout, she stumbled into the ditch, crossed it and leaned on an old wooden post that was barely holding up the barbed wire fence.

She bent over as her stomach rolled and clenched violently. She gagged once and went to her knees, breathing heavily through her nose to control the overwhelming nausea.