Sommersgate House (Ghosts and Reincarnation #2)(98)

“Go on,” he allowed, his strained patience showing as he spoke through clenched teeth.

“I’ve done this before, this marriage thing and let me tell you it is not all that it’s cracked up to be.”

If he thought he couldn’t get angrier, he was wrong.

“I’m not Webster,” he growled.

“I know that!” she shouted. “I didn’t say you were and you’re interrupting again.”

He snapped his mouth shut and glared at her with glittering eyes.

“I can’t do it again, I can’t. I won’t! It’s too damned hard!” she burst out. “You get mixed up, you lose yourself. I won’t lose myself again, Douglas. I can’t and I won’t.”

He stared at her.

There had been very little in Douglas Ashton’s life that he ever wanted. Most of it he could obtain, the rest of it, a loving mother and father, his sister back from the dead, was unobtainable.

At that moment, he found himself wanting something.

And what he wanted was for Julia to lose herself with him.

He wanted this stubborn, tempestuous Julia Fairfax to disappear and an acquiescent, but still tempestuous, Julia Ashton to take her place. He wanted to brand her with his name and shackle her with his ring.

Did she not understand that was a good thing?

He used a particularly heavy weapon in his arsenal. “And what if you got pregnant last night?”

She gasped and her tense body stilled. He jostled her in his arms, giving her a none-too-gentle shake.

She came out of her surprise. “I’ll worry about it if it happens.”

“You’ll damn well marry me if it happens!” he roared and she reared back against his arm.

He could not believe in all his years, all his experience, all the women before her, that he was reduced to ordering a woman to marry him.

“Of course!” she blurted.

“Jesus, Julia, don’t you know I’ll make you happy?” The words should have been beautiful but instead they were rough with anger.

“Douglas,” she used words that stung, “what do you know of making anyone happy?”

He felt those words like a kick to the stomach and he immediately let her go and stepped back.

He wouldn’t have expected that attack from Julia.

His mother, probably, his father, definitely, but not Julia.

They watched each other across the short expanse that separated them like warriors on a battlefield.

Finally, she seemed to realise the cruelty behind her words and she made a move toward him but stopped herself.

“I’m only protecting myself,” she whispered. When he made no response she continued. “You won’t want to hurt me but you will. They always do.” Her words were filled with a strange mixture of wisdom and bitterness.

He looked at her and realised his mistake.

Weeks ago it occurred to him that she was innately damaged, not only by her ex-husband’s treatment but at the hands of her father.

But again, he’d been wrong.

He’d never been wrong so many times in his bloody, f**king life as he was with Julia.

She wasn’t innately damaged.

She was destroyed.

His challenge was far bigger than he expected. To have her, he’d have to gather the shattered pieces of her and put them back together.

He vaguely noticed she was speaking. “It’ll take some time but we’ll get passed this…”

He heard her talking but he wasn’t listening.

Instead he was thinking exactly how very much he liked a challenge.

“I’m not the others, Julia.” He cut her off and she just looked at him. “I’ll simply have to prove it to you,” he declared.

Her mouth opened slightly but no words came out. He didn’t wait for a reply; he walked toward his bedroom to take a shower.

“Don’t you ever give up?” Her exasperated voice sounded from behind him.

His answer was to close the door.

Chapter Eighteen

Alone

Julia heard the beeping in her room after she came out of the shower.

After that scene with Douglas, she was shaken and frightened half out of her mind. She wanted to pack and leave but couldn’t because of the children. Wouldn’t, because of her promise to Tammy and Gav.

She was stuck in a nightmare.

And it was all her own damned fault.

She saw her evening bag lying on the bed. She must have left it in the Bentley and Carter found it. She opened it to find that her mobile was telling her she had a missed call.

Or, to be precise, eleven.

And all from Charlie.

She was considering turning it off when it sounded in her hand.

She jumped, nearly dropping it and before she could think what she was doing, she flipped it open and put it to her ear.

“Thank God, Jewel! I’ve been worried sick, I thought he’d killed you!” Charlie shrieked and any other time Julia would have laughed at her dramatics.

“I’m all right,” Julia lied, not wanting to talk to Charlie, not wanting to talk to anyone.

Charlie failed to read her mood. “You just have to tell me what happened! Oliver spent the entire drive home to London, two hours, mind, lecturing me about interfering so I hope it’s good.”

“Charlie…” Julia started and then she couldn’t stop herself, she burst into tears.