Sometimes It Lasts(Sea Breeze #5)(54)

Her fingers slid up and down, and I wanted to reach out and touch her too, but she hadn’t given me permission to do that. I didn’t deserve to get to touch her like that. She had to forgive me.. . . She had to trust me again. But I was so close to losing my load in my damn sweats, it wasn’t funny.

“Cage,” she cried out, and I had to grab the sheets and hold myself back.

Her back arched and her legs fell completely open. “Oh God, yes, Cage,” she moaned, and I jumped up from the bed like it was on fire. Fuck. . . I had to get out of here. I was gonna touch her. I was also real damn close to getting off. This was the sexiest thing I’d ever seen, and Eva had done some sexy shit before. This took it all.

“Yes. Oh, yes,” she cried, and I stormed out of the room.

I didn’t look back. I went directly to the restroom. It only took two swift jerks, and I cried out her name as I came.

Chapter Twenty-Two

EVA

I lay in bed as Cage called out my name. He was coming. I knew that sound. I knew what he sounded like. He’d ran out of here like a man possessed. My body trembled from the aftershocks of my orgasm. Normally the orgasms I gave myself weren’t that strong. But with Cage talking dirty in my ear and watching me, I’d completely lost it. That hadn’t been as good as when Cage gave them to me, but it was the closest thing I’d had in a long time.

I squeezed my legs together and rolled over to look at the door he had left open. He hadn’t touched me. He hadn’t even gotten off in here so I could see. I had heard him, and hearing him shout my name had been wonderful. I loved it.

What was I doing? Last night I’d wondered if we could be friends. Could we be friends when we wanted each other like this? Was that idea even possible? Cage was in my life. We would have a child together. He’d hurt me then deserted me when I needed him most. But my body still wanted him. He was here. He wasn’t leaving me. Could I forgive him? Was that possible? Or. . . had I already forgiven him?

I heard the shower turn on, and I sat up. I wouldn’t think about this right then. We didn’t have to make any decisions yet. He might change his mind and leave again. This farm life was not what he’d always dreamed of. Staying here with me would be asking him to give up his life.

That wasn’t going to happen. Ever.

* * *

By the time Cage got out of the shower I was dressed and the biscuits were in the oven. Facing him after what we’d done wasn’t going to be easy, but knowing he’d gotten off too eased my embarrassment. I always woke up horny. I had been doing that for months. I just hadn’t had to worry about Cage walking by my door and hearing me.

“I was gonna make breakfast this morning. It’s why I was up early. I got, uh, sidetracked on my way down here,” Cage said.

I glanced over my shoulder at him and felt myself blush. “Oh” was all I managed to say.

“Yeah, oh,” he replied with a chuckle.

My body relaxed from the sound of his amusement. It wasn’t going to be awkward. It was Cage. The things we had done together should make me immune to any sexual embarrassment with him.

“Can I make the eggs, at least?” he asked, stepping up behind me, close enough that I could smell the soap on his skin, but still not touching me.

“If you want to,” I replied, taking a deep breath so I could enjoy how good he smelled.

He reached for the skillet and set it down on the stove beside me. He wasn’t going to say anything about it. He was going to pretend it didn’t happen. That we hadn’t just. . . done that.

“I kept your panties. Hope that’s okay,” he said close to my ear before walking over to the fridge to get the eggs.

That was it. We had to talk. “Why?” I asked, turning around to look at him.

“Why? Because they smell like you and I miss that smell. Real bad. . . and they’re still wet.”

I sucked in a breath and reached for the edge of the counter for support. “Cage, what are we doing? I mean. . . what is this?”

He studied me a moment then he set the eggs in his hands down on the counter beside me. He walked up to stand so close to me, I had to press my back against the granite countertop behind me.

“I’m doing whatever the hell you will allow me to. That’s what I’m doing. Why? Because I can’t live without you. However you allow me to have you is what I will take.”

I wanted to scream at him that he had had me completely and thrown it away. Didn’t he get that? “You had me Cage. You f**king had me. You wanted something else!”

Tears burned my eyes. I hadn’t said that out loud before. I had thought it, but I hadn’t verbalized it. Not until today. My throat clogged with tears, and Cage rested his hand on my hip. “I made a mistake. The biggest mistake of my life. I let my insecurities keep me from fighting for you. I let myself believe the words you yelled at me over the phone. I didn’t come here and make you listen to me. That was my mistake.”

No. That was only part of it. Did he not see that? I hit him hard against the chest and let out a sob. He didn’t move. “No. No. No! That isn’t it. I wasn’t enough. You needed more. I can’t live with that. Don’t you see? I can’t live knowing you touched someone else. That you wanted someone else. I only ever wanted you! Only you!” Tears were blurring my vision. I didn’t care. I needed to let them free. I needed to say it. For over a week he’d been showing up there to work. He’d been sweet and thoughtful. I had let him. But never once had he told me he was sorry for what he’d done to me. For making me believe I would ever be enough for him.