Sometimes It Lasts(Sea Breeze #5)(48)

We were going to be okay. I smiled as a weight was lifted from my chest. This was right.

* * *

Jeremy had brought a quilt that I’d left folded on the sofa with him. We covered up on the swing, and I let him hold the carton because it was too cold on the outside for me. My hands couldn’t handle it.

“You thought about Christmas yet? If you want a tree, I’ll cut you one down. Just say the word.”

I hadn’t thought too much about Christmas. Last year Cage and I had come over and had lunch with Daddy. He hadn’t done much decorating. I always did the decorating. This year I’d be spending it without Daddy and Cage. My heart wasn’t really in the spirit. “I don’t know. I’ll get back to you on that.”

Jeremy took another spoonful of ice cream from the carton. “You always loved Christmas, Eva. Shame to stop loving it now.”

He was right. Next year I’d have Bliss. I wanted to make it special for her. But this year. . . I just wasn’t sure I could. It was just me. “I won’t stop loving it. I just may take a year break from it.”

Jeremy shot me an amused grin. “You can’t take a break from Christmas. It’s coming with or without you.”

He wanted to see me happy again and I understood that. I just wasn’t really ready for happy just yet. “Watch me,” I shot back, and put another bite in my mouth.

We sat there for a few moments without talking. My thoughts had gone to Cage and if he was headed home this weekend. I wondered if he would call and ask about Bliss.

“Do you think that they can see us?” Jeremy asked, and I looked around for someone who he might be referring to. “I mean, your parents and Josh. Do you think they can still see us? Would this make them happy, seeing us like this? Still living life.”

Jeremy didn’t normally get real deep. I was surprised he’d thought about that or even asked me. I had thought about it many times in the past. I had liked to think my momma was watching me when I grew up. Then Josh when I’d found Cage. I hoped he saw that I’d found happiness again. But now, I wasn’t sure I wanted them to see me. I wasn’t exactly doing anything for them to be proud of. I wasn’t in school. I wasn’t married nor was I getting married, and I was going to be a single mom. I had also used my best friend as a crutch.

“Right now, Jeremy, I really hope they can’t. I don’t think they’d be happy with my choices.”

Jeremy reached over and patted my knee. “I think you’re wrong. I think they’d be proud of the strong person you’ve become. I think they’d be proud that although you’ve been through more grief and loss than one person deserves, you’re still finding reasons to smile. I also think you’re gonna be the best damn momma the world has ever known. And they’ll be so proud of that.”

A tear rolled down my cheek and I wondered if he was right. I really hoped he was.

CAGE

I almost broke down and went to her house Saturday after Jeremy called to tell me he had talked to her and they’d ended things. But I didn’t. I was giving her time to adjust. Time to think about it before I showed back up on Monday morning. Jeremy also informed me that she wasn’t expecting me on Monday. She was sure I had headed back to school.

When I pulled into her driveway at six Monday morning, I couldn’t keep from smiling. She was free. She had nothing to feel guilty about the next time I touched her. And she wasn’t expecting me. This was gonna be a good day.

My phone dinged in my lap and I looked down to see a text from Jeremy.

Not coming for the next three days. I’m headed to the hunting camp. See you Thursday.

Either he was giving us time alone, which I would need to thank him for, or he was testing me to see if I was really in this. I was still proving myself, but it had only been a week. I expected no less.

I walked by the porch and glanced at the door. Then I stopped. Eva was standing there behind the screen, staring at me. She was wearing a pair of my boxer shorts and a long-sleeved thermal shirt. Her hair was messy. She’d just woken up.

“Morning, sweetheart.”

She opened the door and stepped outside, and I saw the tube socks that she had on her feet. Damn, she looked cute. “You’re back,” she said, staring at me like she wasn’t sure yet if she was awake.

“Yeah. I am. Where else would I be?” I replied with a wink. “You got some coffee brewing yet?” I asked, making a move toward the steps.

“I can. . . I can make some real quick,” she said slowly while she still studied me carefully.

“That’d be nice, if you don’t mind. It’s cold out here, and although you look sexy as hell in my boxer shorts, your legs have got to be cold.”

“Oh,” she said, backing up as I walked past her nice and slow. When my legs brushed hers, she shivered a little and I fought reaching out and grabbing her. I had to take this slow. She needed to know I was there for the long haul.

I walked into the dark kitchen and tuned the light on. “Hope I didn’t wake you,” I said as I turned around to look at her. She was still staring at me, but she closed the door and hurried over to the coffeepot when I caught her.

“No, I was awake. Didn’t sleep good last night,” she explained.

“Why? You aren’t scared here alone, are you? I’ll sleep in the barn if it would make you feel better at night.” I didn’t like her not being able to sleep.