Sometimes It Lasts(Sea Breeze #5)(14)

“I love you, Daddy,” I managed to whisper through the lump in my throat.

“I love you too, baby girl.”

CAGE

I waited for Eva to speak first. She’d been quiet through dinner. When Wilson went to bed right after he’d finished eating, I’d seen the look he gave her. It had been an unspoken question. Eva had simply nodded and he’d kissed the top of her head before leaving the room. Nothing about that eased my mind. Not with the tense way Eva was holding her body. But I was waiting on her to talk.

She stopped walking when we got to the swing down behind the barn. We were out of viewing distance from any window in the house. That made me ease up a little. I didn’t want to have to worry about upsetting Wilson. Because I sure as hell wasn’t gonna like what she was about to say. I could see it all over her face.

“Swing with me,” she said simply.

“I don’t think I can sit down just yet. I need you to say what it is you brought me out here to say first,” I said. I was nervous. I might need to pace some. Sitting wasn’t an option.

Eva walked over and wrapped her arms around my waist and for a moment I was okay. Then she opened her mouth. “I want you to go to Tennessee. Tomorrow. You’ve waited a week already. No more putting them off. You leave tomorrow. Without me.”

“No,” I replied, shaking my head. “Hell, no,” I repeated.

“Let me talk, Cage. I’m not done.”

“Don’t give a shit. Nothing you say is changing my mind. I’m not leaving you. Now? How can you even think that would be okay? I can’t leave you, Eva.”

“Listen to me! You have to. For us. You have to leave. If you don’t leave then we will never make it. We won’t. You have fought for this scholarship and you got it. Now it’s time you take it. You go live it. You make a future for us. I’ll be there with you... one day. But you have to go start this now or we lose it. You have to do it with me here. We can talk on the phone everyday. You can come visit me on weekends when you’re free. We can do this. It isn’t forever.”

I wanted to yell but I’d scare her. Instead, I held her tighter against me. I couldn’t make it a f**king day without her. How was I supposed to go a week? Two weeks? I couldn’t do that. “Eva, I can’t live without you.”

“You wont’ be without me. I’ll be here. I’ll still be yours. You will still own my heart. We will just have distance between us for awhile. We can make it work. But you have to do this for our future, Cage.”

She wanted this for us. Not just me. She was worried about our future after her father was gone. Dammit. How could I leave her? Even if she wanted me to. “I can’t leave you,” I repeated because it was all I could say.

“You have to leave me. It’s what is best for us. These chances don’t come around every day. If you lose this... we lose this. It will always be a question in your mind of “what if?” and I don’t think I can live with that.”

I shook my head. “No. No. I won’t leave you because you’re worried about me regretting you and my choice. I will never, and I mean f**king never regret choosing you. Nothing is more important than you, Eva Brooks. Nothing.”

She pressed a kiss to my chest. “ I know that. That’s why I’m out here talking to you about this. I know that if it were a choice between me and baseball that you’d choose me. I don’t doubt that for a minute. But I need you to see that this is a choice for me. A choice for us, Cage. You going to Tennessee is choosing our future. That’s all it is. I know when I was upset last week that I asked you to stay with me but I was falling apart that day. I have had time to think. My daddy. . . my daddy won’t always be here. I need to spend what time I have left with him. But after he’s. . . after. . . we will need plans. A future. It’s your job to go create that future for us while I stay here and do what I have to do.”

Dammit! I understood what she was saying. She was right and I hated it. I couldn’t leave her. How the hell would I be able to focus without her there with me? I wasn’t me without her. But when this time in her life was over she’d need a man who could protect her and give her a future. Staying here and working at a mediocre job wouldn’t be the future she deserved. I wouldn’t be worthy of her then. I had to be the man she needed. Why did that have to hurt like hell?

“I don’t wanna be without you,” I said pulling her against me and burying my face in her hair.

“I know. But right now it’s what we have to do,” she replied.

“ You need me,” I tried again arguing a reason why I should stay.

“Always. But I need you to secure our future more than I need you here right now. I can spend time with Daddy. You go get that college scholarship and I’ll be there with you one day.”

One day. I knew she wasn’t saying soon or before too long because that would mean her dad was gone. She couldn’t say that. I understood. But one day was haunting me. What if she changed her mind? What if that one day came and she didn’t want me anymore?

“I need you to tell me you’ll love me forever. I need to know you aren’t going to leave me.” I was desperate but I wanted to hear her tell me I was it for her. That the future was us.

“No one else for me ever. You’re it. You’re my always.”