Someone to Watch Over Me (Bow Street Runners #1)(80)

Stunned, Grant wondered where this unexpected well of insecurity had come from. How was it that Victoria could feel so lost in her sister's shadow? Good Lord, the few bedroom tricks that Vivien knew could never give her a fraction of the appeal Victoria held for him. For any man. Victoria was warm, intelligent, giving...and ideal companion in bed and out.

"You sweet...beautiful...lunatic," he heard himself mutter. "How in the hell can you think I would prefer her to you? How could you doubt my feelings? Believe me, I understand the differences between you, and I'm more than capable of deciding what I want."

Annoyed by her doubts of her own worth, he jerked the bedclothes away from her, ignoring her startled exclamation. Easily he caught her wrist and brought her hand down between his thighs. At the feel of her cool little hand pressed against him, he felt an instant throb of desire, and his flesh swiftly burgeoned and rose to full readiness. "Feel this," he said hoarsely, levering himself above her, staring hard into her face as her cheeks pinkened. "Feelme, and look into my eyes, and tell me if you see disappointment."

"You're only proposing to me because I was a virgin," she said, "and you're trying to be a gentleman and do the right thing--"

Grant covered her mouth with his in an ardent kiss, stopping only when he heard a moan of desire caught in her throat."That much of a gentleman, I'm not," he said huskily.

Victoria's doubtful gaze locked with his. "You once told me you weren't the marrying kind."

"I am when it comes to you."

"You don't have to," she said earnestly, pulling her hand away and clenching it by her side. "I want you to understand...you're under no obligation because of what happened. We can part as friends, very dear ones--"

"I don't want a friend. I wantyou. Every day and night. Every minute for the rest of my life." Grant held her tightly and stared into her small, flushed face. What he saw there gave him cause to ask huskily, "Isn't that what you want?"

Her cheeks burned even brighter, and she managed a bobbing nod and a soundlessyes.

"Thank God," he said, smoothing her hair back from her face. "Because I couldn't live without you. Now, is there anything else standing in our way?"

"Your work..." Her voice cracked with painful honesty. "It would be difficult for me to know that you were in danger so much of the time...that each morning you left me, you might not come back. Perhaps if I loved you less, I could bear it...but I don't think I could live like that."

His arms tightened around her. "I've already decided to leave the Bow Street force," he said. "I've spent too many years of my life on the streets. There are other choices open for me now...I'll find something else to occupy myself with."

"Is that what you want to do?" she asked gravely. He nodded and pressed his mouth to her forehead. "Be my wife, Victoria."

Victoria could not reply as she stared into his steady green eyes. She loved him more than she had ever suspected it was possible to love. But there was something inside her, some uneasiness that must be addressed. She tried to uproot the feeling, lay it before her and examine it to find the answers she needed. However, she couldn't do that now. She needed privacy and time to think.

"Let me have a few days," she begged. "I can't make such a decision quickly. I want to go home, to see my sister, and...to find myself again."

Grant frowned and shook his head slightly. "Find yourself? You said you had completely recovered your memory."

"Yes, but I don't feel as if I'm back to my ordinary self just yet. And I'm not ready to start making changes in my life before I've spent a few days of peace and privacy in my own home."

"It's a simple question, Victoria," he said tersely. "Do you love me or not?"

"Yes, I love you." She touched the side of his face gently, her eyes suddenly misting with emotion. "I do love you," she said again, her voice low and fervent.

"Then accept my proposal."

"Not yet," she said, matching his stubbornness with her own.

A frustrated laugh broke from him, and he looked as though he longed to shake her. "Dammit, why won't you just say yes? You're postponing the inevitable."

"I'll give you my answer when I'm able," she said. "But it's too soon. If you'll just be patient..."

"I can't be patient. I want you too badly." Grant's mouth covered hers, and he kissed her in a way that blotted out everything but pure sensation. His tongue played and stroked inside her mouth, and the allure of that small penetration caused her to strain against him hungrily. There was still a bit of linen sheeting caught between them...She struggled to push it away, suddenly needing to feel all his skin against hers. He obliged at once, matching her small body against the greater length of his, rubbing her against a hard plane of muscle and sinew, his sex pulsing and insistent between her thighs. She opened to him, a keening, welcoming sound coming from her throat, and he smiled at her eagerness.

"Victoria," Grant muttered, reaching down between their bodies to the crest of red curls, his clever fingers circling and teasing. "You know you belong to me, don't you?" He spread a touch of moisture across the swollen softness, preparing her for his possession. His mouth pressed against her throat, and he paused to inhale the faint remnant of vanilla fragrance she had applied after her bath the previous evening. The hot silken head of his arousal fitted against her, and she felt him thrust inside her with maddening gentleness.