Someone to Watch Over Me (Bow Street Runners #1)(26)

The relief of rememberingsomething made her almost dizzy with excitement. She picked up and held as many books as possible, crowding them against her body, dropping a few in her haste. She wanted to carry them all to a quiet corner, and read and read.

On a lower shelf she discovered well-worn volumes of philosophy. Snatching up Descartes'sMeditations , she flipped it open and feverishly read a passage aloud. "There is nothing, among the things I once believed to be true, which it is not permissible to doubt..."

Vivien hugged the open book to her chest, mind swimming with chaotic impressions. She was positive she had once studied this book, these words, with someone she had cared for very much. The familiarity of the words gave her a sense of safety and comfort she needed desperately. She closed her eyes and clutched the book harder, straining to capture some elusive memory.

"Well." A sardonic rumble broke the silence. "I wouldn't have expected to find you in the library. What have you found that interests you?"

CHAPTER 6

Vivien whirled to see Morgan filling the doorway, the corner of his mouth tightened in a jaded quirk that passed for a smile. The somber gray of his trousers and waistcoat was balanced by a moss-colored coat that brightened the antique green of his eyes. She stumbled forward in her excitement, anxious to share her discovery.

"Grant," she said breathlessly, while her heart raced in an uneven canter. A few books cascaded from her overburdened arms. "I-I found these...Iremember reading some of them...You can't imagine how it feels." A wild, frustrated laugh escaped her. "Oh, why can't I remember more? If only--"

"Vivien," he said quietly, his smile fading. He reached her in three strides, helping to steady the jostling pile in her overburdened arms. As Vivien read the frown of concern on his face, she knew that she must appear half mad. More words bubbled to her lips, but he hushed her gently.

"Let me," he said, taking the mass of heavy volumes out of her unsteady grip. He set them on a nearby table and turned to her. Clasping her shoulders in his large hands, he eased her against his body. He held her in a reassuring embrace, his hand smoothing over the back of the velvet gown and lightly rubbing the lowest point of her spine. As he spoke, his breath stirred the fine hairs at her temple. "Tell me what you remember."

Vivien shivered at the pleasure of being in his arms. "I know I've read some of these books before, with someone I was very fond of. I can't see his face, or hear his voice...It seems the harder I try, the farther it slips away."

"You've readthese books?" Grant asked dubiously, glancing at the ungainly pile beside them.

Vivien nodded against his chest. "I can even recite a passage or two."

"Hmm."

Perplexed by his noncommittal grunt, she glanced at his skeptical face. "Why do you say 'hmm' like that? Don't you believe me?"

She was encompassed in his vivid, considering stare. "It's not in character for you," he finally said.

"I'm telling you the truth," she said defensively.

"You've read Descartes," he remarked, every syllable edged with disbelief. "I should like to hear your opinion on Cartesian dualism, then."

Vivien thought for a long moment, inwardly relieved to discover that she understood the question. "I suppose you're referring to Mr. Descartes's theory that spirit and matter are separate entities? That we cannot rely on our senses as the basis of knowledge? I believe he is correct, and I think..." She paused and continued more slowly. "I think the truth is something you recognize with your heart, even when the evidence seems to prove otherwise."

Though Morgan's expression gave little away, Vivien sensed that she had surprised him. "It seems I'm harboring a philosopher," he said, his eyes suddenly glinting with humor. He set the book on the library table and reached for another on the shelf. "Tell me what you make of Locke, then, and his differences with Descartes."

Vivien took the book from him and spread her small hand on the morocco leather binding. "Mr. Locke argues that the human mind is a blank tablet at birth...doesn't he?" She glanced at Morgan and received an encouraging nod. "And he claims that knowledge is founded in experience. Thought can only come after we learn through our senses. But I don't think I agree with him entirely. We are not born blank slates, are we? I think some things must exist in us at birth, before experience begins to work upon us."

Morgan took the book from her and replaced it on the shelf, and turned back to her. Unaccountably gentle, he tucked a stray wisp of red hair behind her ear. "Can you tell me what other books are familiar to you?"

Vivien went to another set of shelves and began pulling titles from the tidy rows...history, novels, theology, and drama. She began to stack them in a second heap on the table. "I'm positive I've read this one, and this, and these...Oh, and this was one of my favorites."

He smiled at her enthusiasm. "You're remarkably well read for a woman who never reads."

"Why would you say such a thing?" she asked in surprise.

"Lord Gerard assured me that you dislike reading."

"But that can't be true."

"You're a chameleon, Vivien," he said quietly. "You adapt to the taste of whatever company you find yourself in."

"Then you're suggesting that I concealed my enjoyment of reading and pretended to be stupid in order to attract Lord Gerard," she said.