Somebody to Love (Gideon's Cove #3)(114)

Her words brought a lump to Parker’s throat. “He’s a lot like my father.” Her voice was just above a whisper.

“Really? Because I never got that impression. I always thought James was kind of sweet. And a little lonely, maybe.”

Parker swallowed. “He is. Or he’s not. I don’t know, Luce. I was thinking about a future, a relationship, and the whole time he already had a job lined up in New York. And the girlfriend…”

“Yeah, yeah, you told me the story.”

“Right. So at the very best, it was a huge miscommunication. At worst, he was cheating on me. Or her.”

Lucy was quiet for a long minute. “Well, let me say something, and don’t get mad, okay?”

“I hate when people say that,” she grumbled.

“Right, but I’m in a delicate condition, so you have to listen.”

“Fire away, Pregnita.”

Lucy looked at her hand for a minute, and twisted her wedding ring. “It’s just that sometimes, the right guy seems really wrong. And sometimes, it’s easier to grab hold of an excuse, because really going for it, putting yourself out there…that’s hard. You know that. You saw me through that last year.”

Parker conceded the point with a nod.

“So, welcome to the world, Parker. Loving someone can be terrifying.” She set her glass down gently. “And it’s worth it.”

* * *

ON SUNDAY, WHEN THE SHOP was closed and Nicky was with Ethan, Parker got into the Volvo and headed north. It had been a week since the Lecture from Lucy, and she’d been itchy and scratchy ever since.

Life would be much simpler without a relationship.

She had a son to raise.

She had a business to run.

James didn’t want what she did. Or so he said. Except for that one time, on the dock. I’m in.

He’d gone into the water looking for her son.

As she turned onto the street of dear old dad’s correctional facility, a car pulled out of the parking lot. She caught the quickest glimpse of the driver, and before her brain registered who it was, longing surged up so fast and strong that her chest actually ached.

James.

Her hands zinged with adrenaline, and she bit her lip hard. But he didn’t see her, turned the other way, didn’t seem to glance in his rearview mirror, didn’t tap his brakes.

She went in, the guards as polite as the waiters at the Pierre, and went into the visiting room. A few minutes later, Harry appeared.

“Parker,” he said. He looked better than last time. “What a surprise.”

“Harry. How are you?”

“Good. And you?”

“Fine.”

“How’s Nicky?”

“He’s great. He wants to get married and have eight kids.” She pushed some hair behind her ears, her heart thudding sickly, though she wasn’t sure why.

“Seems like a lot.” Harry gave a small smile, and Parker felt something shift in her chest.

“So I saw James leaving as I pulled in,” she said.

Her father nodded. “He comes every other weekend or so. Good kid.” Her father paused, tracing an invisible design on the tabletop. “Of course, he should come see me, since he’s the one who put me here.”

Parker’s mouth dropped open. “You know about that?”

Harry shrugged. “He told me a few weeks ago, but I already suspected. I was stupid. He did the right thing.”

“Doesn’t it bother you? That he’s the one responsible?”

“Well, the truth is, I’d have probably gotten caught anyway. He jump-started the process, let’s put it that way.”

Parker shook her head. “Did you want to get caught, Harry? Is that it?”

Another shrug. “I don’t know. You get to a point where you think you’re invincible. That you’re smarter than everyone else. Maybe I wanted to see how far I could push things.”

You always did.

“I have a question for you, Harry,” she said, her voice low.

For the first time during the visit, her father looked uncomfortable. “Go ahead.”

She hesitated, her stomach twisting. Say it, Spike advised. She swallowed. “How is it that you could be such a crappy father to me and be so…easy with James? The first time I ever saw you two together, you were already closer than you and I have ever been. He put you in here, and you don’t seem to hold anything against him.” Her voice was shaking.

Harry didn’t answer.

“You barely speak to me. We’ve talked more since you were convicted than we have in a decade, and I’m sure it’s because you’re bored. But James…James is your BFF, even now. Did you always want a son? Is that my problem? I was born with the wrong parts?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he snapped. He glanced over her shoulder, thinking, then looked at her again. “It’s not that at all.”

“Well, what is it, then?”

“It’s that you’ve been waiting for me to screw up again since you were ten years old.”

“When I walked in on you doing the babysitter, you mean?” Her voice was loud, and several people looked over.

“Yes.” His eyes were stony. “Exactly. And ever since that day, you’ve sat in judgment, just like your mother. You moved into Grayhurst to remind me of that day, to remind me that I was dog shit.”