Somebody to Love(87)

By the time he realized she was in the lake, she was already way too far out. He yelled for her to come in, and she turned and headed for shore. All the Cahills were excellent swimmers. But she was tired. When her head slipped beneath the surface, it took him a second to realize what was happening. There was no splashing, no yelling, no flailing. She just disappeared.

“I remembered what my dad always told us—row, throw, go. Row out, throw them something or go for help.” James’s voice was horribly quiet and calm. “We had a little dinghy, and I don’t even remember getting in it. I was pulling the oars as hard as I could, and I could hear myself screaming her name… .”

He jumped in where he thought she’d gone under, but the lake was murky, and it was hard to see anything. He swam around, eyes burning, chest aching, resurfaced for air and went under again.

And then he saw his sister’s hand, floating there, white against the green murkiness. He grabbed and pulled, kicking for all he was worth.

“They make it look so easy in the movies,” he said. “We were barely moving. She was a chubby little thing, weighed almost as much as I did back then. Then we broke the surface, and I held her face up, but the boat had drifted off in the wind, and I couldn’t make it. But I couldn’t let her go, either.”

“Oh, honey,” Parker whispered, wiping her eyes.

“We both went down, and I thought that was it, we were dying. I could see the light getting farther and farther away, and I felt so bad for my parents, to have to find us in the pond. But at least Mare and I would die together.”

Parker pressed her hand against her mouth, but a sob slipped out.

He gave her an oddly wry look. “I know. It’s a horrible story, isn’t it?” She squeezed his hand, unable to talk. “So, next thing I knew, my father had me by the arm, pulled me up, tossed me in the boat and went back for Mary. Got her to the dock, did CPR, all that. My mother was screaming, my brothers…well. It was a nightmare.”

“James, I’m so, so sorry,” she said in a shaky voice, the words pathetically inadequate.

He shook his head. “The TV was still on when I went back in the house. That’s what I remember. I wanted to watch the movie, and my sister almost died because of it.”

“James, you didn’t know what would happen! You told her not to go in, and you thought she was playing. It’s not your fault.”

“Oh, sure it is. My father grabbed the wrong kid first, that’s all.”

Parker’s heart seized. “No, James, you can’t think like that. You can’t.”

He gave her a bleakly rueful grin. “It’s what he used to tell me.”

Jesus. Parker squeezed his hand, unable to speak.

“So.” He took a breath, and his voice became more brisk. “Mare was in the hospital for weeks, then a rehab center. Mom started drinking, my brothers blamed me, and my father couldn’t stand the sight of me. That’s why I got shipped off to Dewey in the summers. And that’s the end of the tragic tale. I guess every family has one, and that’s ours.”

“You can’t hold yourself responsible for that, James. You were twelve years old,” she said.

“I was in charge. I knew she wanted to go in, and I knew she usually did what she wanted, but hey. The Terminator was on.”

“No, James. You were only a little kid yourself. It wasn’t your fault.”

He didn’t contradict her, but she could tell he didn’t believe her, either. The little birds were done with their bath, and a breeze rustled the leaves of the willow tree behind them.

“Do you pay for this place?” she asked, wiping her eyes on her sleeve.

He nodded. “Shitty consolation prize. ‘Hey, Mary Elizabeth, I’m sorry I almost let you drown, but at least you can live in a nice institution.’”

No words were going to help here. Parker scootched onto his lap and wrapped her arms around him, kissed his head, her throat tight, and held him close, smoothing his hair, not saying anything.

“Parker?” he said eventually, his face against her neck.

“Yes?”

“I turned your father in to the SEC.”

The words took a minute to sink in. She blinked. “Excuse me?”

James pulled back to look at her. “He let something slip about a deal one night. Something that would be as good as Apple. I wasn’t sure at first, but it sounded…off.” His eyes were sad. “A drug company had a product really close to FDA approval, and he sank everything into it. He was absolutely sure it would be huge. But it didn’t pass its final trial. When he came to me and asked to liquidate your trust funds, I knew he’d screwed up.”

“Oh.” She took a deep breath, utterly stunned.

James was quiet for a minute. “The law says if an attorney suspects a client is committing fraud that results in financial loss for other people, he has to turn him in. And even though I owed Harry everything, because I could never afford this place without him, I had to do it. I called the SEC, and they took it from there.”

Parker blinked. A sparrow landed on the back of the bench, then flew off. “Does he know?” she asked.

“He might. He probably does—he’s not an idiot—but he’s never said anything. He knows about my sister and how I pay for this place.” His dark eyes were full of so much—guilt, sorrow, regret. “I’m sorry, Parker. I knew you and Nicky would be collateral damage, but I couldn’t say anything without breaking the law. If I lost my license or got indicted with Harry, I wouldn’t be able to take care of Mary Elizabeth.”